Re: Hannah/Dante.
I think messy can be good, and I think it can be bad. It sounds like you think your messy is bad? Which isn't the same as other people thinking your messy is bad, and sometimes it's both, you both think the messy is bad.
I don't know what the words are. I think they're different with everyone I talk to, or they need to be. I need to sound like 9-5 and normal, or they worry. I don't want them to worry, but I want to be myself, too, and I want to do that without it making things bad for other people. But, and this is really, really hypocritical, I don't think isolating is good. Or maybe I just wish we didn't need to do it, that we could just be and have that be okay. I think I need to be bright and sunshine and then people I love will be okay.
Have you been to doctors? I've been to so many, but they don't listen. But maybe they'd listen to you? You seem like the type of woman people listen to, at least I think so. [...] Did something happen?
I think there can be moments of happy, and I know a whole life isn't like that, but I wish there were more moments that we could just close our fingers around. Tiny moments. When did you last have one? I worry I'll forget mine, that I won't be able to feel them when I grab for them, and that they'll fade and no new ones will come.