r (reposeremembers) wrote in repose, @ 2020-04-19 21:17:00 |
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Entry tags: | audrey carpenter, ~plot: memories |
[Memory]
What: Memory
Will characters be viewing the memory or experiencing it?: Viewing
Warning, this memory contains: Body dysphoria, but it's a happy ending!
You've cried so much, for as far back as you can remember you've cried every single day. The reasons have varied but at the end of the day it's been heartache constantly. You know it's taken a long time for your parents to get used to this. And you saw you mom crying a lot. Your dad. Mama. Papi.
But now you're standing here in front of a mirror and for the first time in a long time your tears are happy tears. The first time was when the doctor said you could go on hormones, when you could start changing into who you want to be. It feels as though your body has just taken to it overnight. The first two months you had nothing but a sore ass where you were injecting, but this morning you're in front of your mirror and you can see the dark shadow of facial hair, a few little longer ones curling at the corners of your lips. You realise you actually made a point for so long of not looking in the mirror that that's how you probably missed these changes. You've been working on working out and now here you are-
You didn't have big breasts to begin with, so they don't bother you too much, oddly. But looking at yourself now you notice the toning in your abdomen and your arms, a tiny bit of hair between your breasts and down your stomach into your boxers. You're filling out and growing hair in all the right places. With your binder on- there's going to be a day when you're not misgendered. This is something so small, and you know there are people who wouldn't be happy with this, but all you want is to see in your face the man you know you are.
Wiping your eyes you shake it off, then laugh, then dance around your room, running your fingers over the stubble that's growing in to reaffirm you. You're a real boy.