Re: lakeside mansion; hugh c. & dietre a.
"Everyone needs a glimmer of hope," Hugh responded lightly, playful still, but it occurred to him almost as soon as the words were out of his mouth, that maybe he shouldn't have. Because sitting in the part of his mind that tended towards over-thinking, was the realization that it possibly gave an implication that Hugh was interested, and he wasn't. Or he didn't think he was?
He found his eyes caught for a moment on Dietre instead of the film, taking advantage of the fact that Dietre had looked away and for a heartbeat the question sort of lingered despite his intentions to not entertain it tonight. Friendship was safe, considering anything else made opening up terrific uncertainty and the possibility that it just wouldn't work. For a moment, not even the warmth of another human being against the soles of his feet or the familiar cadence of his favorite film, could entirely soothe over the utter sense of failure where his love life and relationships were concerned. He hated it, hated the feeling that if he made any move anywhere, it'd be the wrong one.
He shifted, pulling his feet down to the floor as he reached for his wine and took another sip, and chased that sip with a second. "Because this is art," Hugh told Dietre honestly. "It's telling a story, and it requires skill and a really specific sort of passion and knowing your partner and trusting them and building on that. The other is... foreplay, but not even like -" he hesitated, trying to parse through whether what he was about to say was what he really meant or felt. "I'm not sure where I'm going with that, actually," he glanced over as he took another sip of the wine and leaned forward to put it on the table in front of them, and then settled back against the back of the couch.
For an instant he watched the screen, trying not to talk too much, or interrupt the story, but his gaze shifted to Dietre again. And he thought about saying something and instead he just let himself take a breath and relax back into the sofa and the story, trying to focus on it instead of his own emotional uncertainty.