Re: [Log: Gym-to-be, Marta and Holly]
"They weren't rotting until you and Noah," she replied, not quite deadpan, but trying to be serious about it. "Blame is all on you." She didn't quite get the comment about the food, and she looked down at it for a second, like it would give her the answer. And maybe it did, because she understood then (or at least thought she did). "Delivery. I don't think they include trips to the dentist with garlic bread."
And then the joking was gone, wiped away completely, and she was left trying to communicate while her fucked-up brain tried to derail her. She'd thought that Holly was one of the people that knew - that she'd told - but if he wasn't understanding, then she'd probably skipped over telling him and just forgotten. And trying to explain it when she was already slipping into stuttering and losing the connection to her words wasn't going to be easy or pleasant. "Fuck," she managed, more to herself than to him, and closed her eyes to try to relax and focus. It meant that she missed his quick reaction and turn to scan the area around them.
It might have been easier to write everything out, but it would require finding paper and a pen, or trying to type it on her phone. Maybe she should just have something ready to show people when this happened. But without anything like that, she had to figure it out. She traced a '1' on the table with her fingertip, using it as a marker to help her keep track of the things she wanted to say. And she kept her eyes closed, picturing the words she wanted. "The drugs. Damage." Another deep breath, in and out, imagining the voice of the staff member that had taught them relaxation and meditation tips. She traced a '2' on the table. "Saying things is hard. Gets harder with... stress. Unexpected..." She got through it with only a little hesitation, and managed another breath, trying to keep going.
But the thought of those rumors, the going to see Seven, finding out about Jamie, everything that had happened since... It closed her throat with a thickness that was almost painful, and she opened her eyes to look at Holly and shake her head.