Re: Amy's trailer: Amy M/Si M
She knew he was over there not buying anything she was selling, but she really, really wasn't trying to sell anything at all. She wanted to feel okay, too, and she kind of was taking care of herself. She wasn't working, which she really should've been doing, but she didn't want to, and so she didn't. And that was new. It wasn't like that before, and before she'd done all the things she didn't want to do, as if there was some compulsion to do so. That didn't mean she wasn't still herself, and the loud knocks on the door still sent her scurrying into the back of the trailer, as if the door would get knocked in and she had to make herself as small as she could manage to.
But the kettle sang, and she filled up two mugs from her collection of star mugs. Water, spiced orange tea, sweetened a little, and she came back through the open curtain to sit beside him on the tiny couch. She handed him one of the cups, and she tucked one leg beneath herself as she blew on her own mug. She cupped the ceramic, liking the warmth on her fingers. "Jamie's reaction didn't make me feel very good. I know he has a right to his own reaction, and I know I'm not her, and that he's allowed to think I'm not, but I feel... sad? Bad. Like things are heavy and dark. Like those hours just before morning, where the night feels like it's going to go on forever. I wanted to message him and tell him I wasn't going to be in his family anymore, but you're going to say that's dramatic." But she wasn't talking about leaving, it wasn't that.