Re: Holly's place: Holly/ Noah
Okay, so maybe Holly was bringing his own fear into it, right? That Noah was pulling back, pulling away, and that always scared Holly into grabbing, like, with both hands and everything in him. He'd gone from running and pushing away to being like some clinging thing, and that freaked him out too, but he never thought about that stuff when he was scared. In that room, as firm as he was being, he was scared.
So his forehead against Noah's? As much for him as for the other guy. He was quiet a few seconds. He let Noah breathe, and he breathed himself, and he relaxed in this crazy-obvious way when Noah's hands found soft hips above the waistband of those loose-low pajama pants. He listened, and he didn't talk over the guy. He really did want to let Noah talk. He thought maybe Noah needed to, right? I mean, this was something the guy had kept locked up for his entire life, and that had to be some insanely hard shit to deal with. And Holly's anger, his unjustified jealousy, it was all nothing to what Noah had experienced, because Noah had been the one to experience it. And he got it was confusing for Noah. He got the guy had, like a million questions and heavy guilt and stuff. "So, don't see her alone," he said, and he knew it sounded simple. "Next time you have to see her? Whenever you have to see her? I'll come, and I give you my word I won't break her teeth or fight with her." Because that was selflessness, at least as far as Holly was concerned. Because he really wanted to slam the heel of his palm into that woman's face. But, more than that? He wanted Noah to feel safe. That was important. Noah feeling safe. So he'd behave. "Beating yourself up isn't going to change anything, so don't do it, baby. Just look forward." He rubbed his thumbs against Noah's cheeks, drawing back enough so he could see the guy's face. "Just plan for the next time. Don't worry about the past." Easier said than done, but it wasn't going to help, right? To wish the past could be changed. "Do you need to know what happened?" he asked, despite it being hard to think about for him. But this wasn't for him. And he leaned heavily into the hands on his hips, because, okay, a lot of standing. He was starting to sweat and go a little clammy, and he knew Noah wasn't going to feel better if he, Holly, passed out in the middle of the room, so he moved back, hands moving to the ones on his hips, and he tugged Noah back to the mattress, if he could.