Re: Holly's place: Holly/ Noah
Noah wasn't deliberately putting space anywhere, dude. He was trying to get to Holly's meds, which, by virtue of all of this occupying (at least) a three dimensional space, meant he had to move to get it. So he moved to get it. It wasn't about getting away from Holly. That was the last thing Noah wanted. So, yeah, when Holly reached to grab for him again, he was allowed to. Noah didn't pull away. He leaned into the touch, even though he was distracted by how much he could potentially hurt Holly's arm.—And, let's be real. He was fucked up. Noah. Could anyone come out of this shit NOT fucked up? He appreciated what Holly was saying, but he knew better, dude. Or, he knew the depths of it, if nothing else.
But, he listened. He tried to listen. Forehead to forehead, and he breathed Holly's breath, and Noah did try to calm himself. Because he was kind of derailing the entire... this. All of this. If he could, he settled his hands on Holly's hips, eyes closed, and he would've shaken his head, you know, if he could. "I don't really want to see her." His eyes felt tired from the tears. "I know it's weird and confusing and must seem just... messed up from the outside. And from the inside. But. I love my mom, but I don't really like her and I don't really want to see her or need to see her. It's just I can't get away from her. And there are holidays and everything else." Noah didn't really know how to explain it all. "She left me alone, mostly, for a while. I think she just... got mad that I moved out and now she's pushing hard. Or something. I'll see her at Thanksgiving. I don't care. I just—I don't want to be alone with her. I'm so—" Noah's fingers tightened on Holly, then stopped as he realized what he was doing. "I'm so mad that I ended up there. It was so fucking stupid. But, I can't undo it. But, it's not like I want to go back. Or that I want to see her. That's not... It's not a thing. For me."