Re: Holly's place: Holly/ Noah
Man, but, see, the way Noah was choosing to see it, dude, his mom hadn't done anything. Because if he sat and speculated, he'd lose his goddamn mind at the endless possibilities of fucked-uped-ness. So, he had decided, before ever talking to Holly, that nothing had happened. She'd stripped him, I guess, because he fell in the dirt. And maybe she'd wiped his face with a wash cloth. But, then, she'd just tucked him in and she'd fallen asleep and then Noah had woken up, and that was that. It had to be. So, he was reassuring Holly. He was trying to. And himself. As much as he was half-apologizing. But, Holly wasn't letting him get away with either, dude.
As Holly talked over him, Noah eventually let his voice be ground into silence. He sat, feeling that churn of Holly's anger and jealousy and insistence, all of it mingling with his own guilt like something seasick. And even if Holly hadn't noticed his own wince, Noah did. It set his teeth on edge. "Dude," was all he tried to say about it. But, Holly was talking again, telling Noah his, Holly's, mind wouldn't be changed. "But—" Holly hadn't put Noah in any position. That was what Noah had been going to say. But, maybe it was the suddenly heightened emotions (his own) and the nervousness that came with any divulging, along with, you know, some mad self-loathing—maybe it was all of that, because as soon as Holly's pushed back stubborn curls, Noah knew he was going to start crying. Which was so stupid and he didn't want to do, because he'd been trying hard to let Holly know this—all of this—was about Holly, not him. Not Noah. And instead, it had become about him and now he was going to start crying. He didn't bawl. But, he did start sniffling like a baby and he kind of nodded. "I just..." Noah wiped at his nose with the back of his hand. His voice was obvious and thick, but he talked anyway. "You didn't do anything."