Re: Hannah & Jeremiah; Jester's Court
He let her lean on his shoulder, hands firm around her, with every intention of constancy - which wasn't something he was certain he'd ever been able to claim he was. He was a social butterfly, by his nature moving from relationship to relationship, job to job - because actor, and then he'd disrupted his own life with his own decisions and would he regret it forever? Yes. Although maybe also no. He wasn't certain some nights, because he would have never come here without that disruption, and right now with his hands on Hannah, with her close against him, he couldn't regret having come here and having met her, but he did still regret other pieces, could you do both at once? Mostly he regretted his inability to say things well, to say things when they were supposed to be said or when they needed to be.
He breathed in deeply and then breathed out again, his chest rising and falling against her. He tilted her chin so that he could look into her eyes. "I think I see more of you than maybe you know. And I think romance novels are a fixed point, and what lovers see in that point might be everything they can see from that perspective, but maybe it's never everything. Maybe we're always going to grow and change within that. And so seeing someone, truly seeing them, is not just seeing them in that moment, but maybe also seeing that capacity for changing, for becoming. And maybe that's what they're trying to get at in the romance novels - that you can find someone and see them completely for who they are in that moment, and give them the freedom to become who they may become in the future, and that seeing someone isn't just about that moment - it's a lifetime of watching, and looking, and protecting their space to become. But you never see that in the romance novels, or the romantic comedies, or the great romances. We only ever see the moment."
He watched her, watching the shades, and considered regrets, his throat tight with unsaid words, things that could easily turn into regrets he knew, because they had before.
He tilted her chin up and leaned in to kiss her if she would allow him to do so, nothing light or playful, but intentional. He would pull her to him, letting her stay in his arms as if he could shelter her from the world, and the questions, and the people who would damage her dignity and her humanity, even if he had no such ability truthfully. He would kiss her until they both needed air again, and maybe then he could find the words.