Re: Hannah & Jeremiah; Jester's Court
Jeremiah had grown up with two religions and neither could completely claim him, or would he completely claim, but that didn't mean he entirely discarded them either, but they hadn't exactly helped him through any of this. Jeremiah needed real people to touch, and talk to, and spiritual beings that might or might not exist that he might or might not even believe in were far too far away to be useful to him most of the time.
He let her speak, listening, her fingers still in his, and with her words there was a rush of relief that she couldn't hate him and wouldn't. Perhaps he hadn't believed that she would, if he had, could he have come out with any of this here on this particular night? Probably not, he wasn't as brave as he'd like to project himself as being. He'd taken the cowards way out before and he'd take the cowards way out again, probably, and perhaps even coming here had been a cowards way out because yes, he was hiding.
Removing himself from the people he knew had been the easiest way of avoiding the looks, the knowing that they were judging even though they hadn't been there, and might have done the same thing in his same circumstance. He was hardly the only person who had ever wanted to be liked, and done something questionable in hopes of that, or to try to get ahead with one set of people by doing something to another set that had the potential to cause harm, even if that wasn't the intentional. Not only was he hardly the only person, he suspected firmly there were more people who had than hadn't when it came down to it - maybe everyone, in their own ways, some in ways more legal than others.
He nodded, and looked up at her, eyes meeting hers again for the first time in several moments. "I just couldn't bare having disappointed my parents, the looks, the talk, any of it. It was a costar, she was... not nice, but I don't believe he would have killed her... normally. He's in jail, and he was a good man, and it's my fault, at least partially. I can't pretend I played no role." His fingers squeezed hers. "As you can see I've got my share of shadows."