[Log: Carnival - Evie W/Sparrow D
Sitting on the passenger seat of the three year old slate grey Hyundai Tuscon that Evelyn Williams had bought after her second child was born, the down payment a result of a nice tax refund for bringing another child into the world (only one more year of payments), was a tote bag.
Evelyn didn't take it out of the house. Ever. For more than one reason, running into students was just one of them. A superficial one really. Evangeline had carted it around everywhere, it had been a diaper bag (she thought it was funny), for a hot minute. She supposed it made sense that now, these days, she kept Evangeline in the bag. And Wren. And Luke. And a little bit of Will that Daisy wasn't ready for. Not ALL of them. That would be impossible. They were all sprinkled through her life every day. But in there, there was a photo album, and a few old diaries, and a few new ones. Notes, letters.
The last time she'd looked through this she'd woken up hungover and pregnant. She doubted that would happen this time around, that was just science. But it didn't stop the same fear from knotting her stomach and gripping tightly on her heart. Not just for Wren, but selfishly for herself too.
By the time she'd pulled up to park, she was gripping the wheel tightly, and her hands almost ached as she let go. She looked over at the bag, her shoulders slumped in a long sigh, as she reached over to grab for the handles. It felt heavier than she knew it really was as she hoisted it over the center console and into her lap. She took a deep breath. It smelled like New York and Seattle somehow. She felt stuck there under the weight of that bag on her thighs. Every time she went through it, it was like telling that little blonde girl she used to be that everything was going to be alright - as long as she forgot how to dream.
But she found the courage to get out of the car, and carry the weight of the world in a tote bag on her shoulder. And knocked on the door of the only other person in the world, besides her kids of course, that she loved enough to do it for. She'd do it every day all day. She was on the run, but she couldn't run from Wren. She'd had the opportunity, she could have just dropped her off that day and lived the life she'd made for herself. But there wasn't even a moment where she'd considered it. She wasn't going to back out now, just because it got hard.