Re: Capital: Sam & Cris
The few people walking through the fluorescent throata the hallway turned at the sound of a young voice, loud, bouncing offa tiles so white they reflected the light back on itself. Cris hardly noticed there was volume at all, 'cause he'd been expecting it. He frowned at her, in clear disagreement with her 'fucking burden' bit, alla that, but he didn't interrupt her. By the time she got to the part about him getting a break, his teeth were showing, and when she said it was a good thing, he'd had enough. He wasn't angry. She'da known if he was. It was just disagreement, but he was expressive and he disagreed loud. That got interpreted by a lotta quieter gringos as aggression when it wasn't meant to be. "You're not a burden to me," he told her hotly. "And you ain't a malfunctionin' car. I wanna help you. I want stuff to be good too. But, I—I don't think I'm enough for you, nena. You get too worried or I'm too close and I react, so you don't talk to me 'bout Ian, nonea that. I'm worried you're gonna go back to usin', 'cause now you got nobody inside you to keep you from doin' it, no consequences 'cept for yourself and you don't care that much 'bout yourself. But, all the stuff that's eatin' at you, that you try to keep out with a needle, is just gonna keep pushin' you back there—No sé. I just worry and I don't want you to go, and I wanna—I wanna—I wish—" He'd lost his point. Cris looked up at the sign.
He slowed when Sam did.
She said he didn't force her here, right there, steps from the NICU, and he didn't know if he believed her, but he watched her face as she talked. She said she couldn't get ridda Joey, not if there was a chance, she was his, and Cris' expression went so soft, it coulda fallen in on itself.
"Mami... I got no idea what I'm doin'." Maybe not what she wanted to hear, but it was true. "Nobody does. I just try to love enough and to teach 'em right from wrong. That's all I got." He licked his lips and mirrored her shrug. "You're young and a mess, I'm old and a mess, huh?" He looked at the sign again. "I always wanted kids. Least two." He smiled. "But that don't mean I'm any better at this than you are, 'cept I got experience." Cris' hand went to the smalla Sam's back. "Did Neil want kids?" He asked it distracted.