The ? at the end of that sounds like you can't justify why you're a bad person, you just feel shit and have decided you're worth nothing. Which is foolish. You're just going to perpetuate your own feelings and use that to justify why you're not a good person.
If you get all the heroin you want what are the chances of you taking it all? Would an overdose satisfy you? I can't stop you, I just want to know.