Re: Secret Santa/Newt P
I believe it's the latter far more than the former, especially for marginalized folks in whichever capacity may apply. It sort of goes without saying that if your blood family is worthy of being such, you'd choose them -- right? That's how I look at it, anyway.
Oh, wait, really? If they don't accept you, they don't deserve you. At least that's what a couple of decades' worth of coming to terms with being gay has taught me. Don't waste your time or his on 'family' that doesn't recognize your worth. Fuck blood, there's no 'ought to' if they're assholes.