Re: Coffeeshop: Hannah/Si
She knew why she'd kept the secrets, why Amy had, and they had everything, everything, everything to do with Si. It would've been bad, had he known, and he was already bad. He was already haunted and drowning and six-feet under in a different way, and it would've made things worse. She wanted him to be better, to get well, and all the bad things were counter to that. Amy had never planned to die, and she'd never thought it would get that far, but it had, and then it was too late. Too late, because she, Hannah, she, Hannah, hadn't realized how bad it was, because she didn't know about the body in the garden that was her.
Hannah missed her blanket. She missed the first days in Repose, the days before she'd realized how really and truly bad people could be. She'd thought Marcus a fluke, a one, a single, and now he wasn't, and maybe that showed in her eyes as she sat across from Si at the table. She still wanted to hope, and she still wanted to believe, but she saw the black mold on everything now, and she couldn't blink it away or count buttons or hide beneath blankets that weren't real.
He was crying again, and she was worried. Worry, worry, like flowers opening in spring but not the same type of pretty, and she didn't know what to do. She knew there was a right thing. She was sure, sure there was a right thing, but she just reached out and squeezed his fingers again. She gave him a little smile, an old one that belonged to someone who was almost her. It was a knowing little smile, a soft shared thing. "I'm a little crazy. It's okay to say it," she told him, because everyone had always thought she was a little weird, hadn't they? But David, David made that little smile fade and fall and snap with sadness. "He doesn't remember the night Molly died very well, I don't think. He was there, and then he says they buried him and he woke up in the woods, and he thinks that means he was dead." It was a theme, death, and it touched everyone in their family eventually.
"I don't smoke, but I can buy you a pack if you want. Do you want?" she asked, ready to move, and go, and acquire if he needed her to. She didn't have very much money, and business wasn't really good when the weather got cold, but she had enough, and she'd buy him cigarettes if he wanted them.