nymphadora tonks is back from the stars. (hufflepunk) wrote in reoccurrence, @ 2020-08-17 02:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | lupin remus, tonks nymphadora |
WHO. tonks & remus.
WHERE. 12 grimmauld place.
WHEN. backdated to august 9th.
WHAT. tonks loses her job, remus comforts.
STATUS. complete.
It was by sheer force of habit that Tonks ended up apparating a street away, tucked into a small alleyway safe from muggle eyes. She realised quickly after that she could just pop right into the house now, that the return to that particular spot was muscle memory, the mental aftershocks of a war that had long finished, but decided to walk all the same. Enough of the day's warmth lingered in the evening air that it felt pleasant on her skin, calming. She needed calm, needed something other than the buzz of her head. The sun was on the verge of setting, casting the world in orange, and it felt wrong that it should be so pretty and easy on her eyes when she hadn't meant to be home until dark. Usually one to call out a greeting as she returned home she stayed silent this time, heading straight for the bathroom and a barely warm shower to wash the day off. An accio-ed towel, clean underwear, oversized t-shirt, and then she was somewhat dressed, her hair dripping a wet line down her back. "Hey," she said softly, entering their bedroom. Remus had been winding down in their room sorting through a potential lesson plan for Teddy when he heard Dora return early. At first, he'd assumed that Regulus must have decided to grace them with his presence again, but then he heard their shower and caught the warm scent of his wife that came with it. He questioned the time, and then the day, before putting the plan down to warm up two mugs of drinking chocolate, preparing to go to her when her clothes shot off out of the room, but she came to him. It hadn't been difficult to piece together that something had happened, but seeing her, and hearing her voice...he went to her, placing his hands on her cheeks so he could lean down and place a kiss between her eyes, "hey. you okay?" If there was one thing she was always grateful for it was that he was always there, offering warm proximity, a reassurance through touch. She was well aware she wore her heart on her sleeve for the most part, but even at times when she did guard her feelings he had grown accustomed to sensing her tells, noticing the slight shifts that indicated something wrong. This was more than a slight shift, but she was appreciative all the same, closing her eyes for a second and smiling in a tired way at the kiss. "Yeah," she said, without really meaning to, and then shrugged. "Dunno." A beat. "Yeah." He didn't need to point out that she was unconvincing, his hands moving down and across to her shoulders to give her upper arm a light squeeze before trailing down them to catch her hands, "do you need a minute?" Dora smiled again, a strange mixture of sadness and some of that calm she'd been gathering up on her walk home. She shook her head. "No." Gave his hands a quick squeeze. "No, I'm alright." It was said with the kind of sigh that expressed resignation, but not terrible upset. Maybe the coolness of the water in the shower had numbed her some, or maybe she was simply too worn out, had done it through overthinking herself. "This may come as a complete surprise, but I've got chocolate and a bony shoulder if either of those would be of interest," he told her, his tone light and voice quiet as if to keep the moment snug between them despite no one else being in the house to overhear. It was impossible to stop the genuine smile that rose up and twisted at her lips, betraying a great deal of fondness. She pushed herself up on her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips. It was only as she lowered back down that the smile slid off her face, quicker than she meant it to. "They fired me." Her nose scrunched up, and she met his eyes just for a second before glancing away again. It wasn't shame, at least she thought it wasn't. Embarrassment maybe, as needless and stupid as it was. The reminder of the age between them, which the clumsiness and the giddiness sometimes felt symptomatic of. But that was barely anything compared to the hard knot of guilt in her stomach when she thought of Teddy, of that promise they had made, her part in it which felt not even close to fulfilled. There it was. His heart fell at the disappointment he interpreted from her, moving only to bring her into him when she couldn't keep looking at him. This job may not have been anything she wanted, but he knew how much it meant to her that she had it. It had been more than just a job, it was a means to move forward to regain what they'd lost. He figured that there was likely a slice of pride in there as well, but he knew full well how set backs like this could feel like failures even when it was only yourself you were trying to support, much less a family. "I'm so sorry, cariad." he told her, cheek pressed to the top of her head, "It might be difficult to really see it right now, but we're going to sort it out and it'll be okay, yeah? I've got you." She let herself sink into the hug, arms half-heartedly coming up to rest at his sides. Her eyelids flickered shut as she exhaled, letting herself have the moment, and then she pulled out of it and looked at him. "It's fine, really," she said, pressing on her words for emphasis. "Kind of funny really, they didn't even want me to finish the shift. That's an impressive level of fuck up, eh?" Dora laughed, though it required some effort. "And whatever, I've been applying for other places anyway. I knew I didn't wanna stay, this just speeds it up." He didn't laugh with her, nor believe her, but he did understand the need to believe yourself in situations like this quite well. "It helps give us more time to pound the pavement, and also to campaign for the resistance. Plus your dad will be home soon." She nodded, smiling as a small thank you for the reassurance. "Yeah," she said, with a nod. "Though I –," she bit her lip, unsure for a moment if it was a thought she wanted to voice, and then realised she had started anyway. "Worry a bit. With him moving home. Not... he'll be amazing with him, just, y'know. Why does Grandad get to stay and not Mum and Dad?" Dora exhaled, the soft huff of breath betraying her exhaustion. "I've been - thinking about that as well," he'll admit, leaving what all he had been thinking about in regards to it to be implied for now, "it's something I think we should talk to your mum about before he gets home rather than wait and come up with something once he does." "Yeah. Yeah, we should," that tiredness crept into her voice, but the feeling of having a plan felt reassuring all the same. Her hands trailed down his forearms until her fingers intertwined with his and she rocked them slightly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "What were you thinking about it?" "Aside from envy," his turn to give her fingers a little squeeze, "I have the same concerns I have with us, only he will be with Teddy day in and day out. If something-- he's only seven. He's going to get attached to your dad, it's impossible not to. In some ways it feels like setting him up to get hurt, and it's not fair for him. He can't grasp the idea of this potentially being temporary the way we can; the way your mum can. He's coming into all of this entirely unguarded and excited-- we can't protect him from it" "Envy? Cos he gets to spend more time with him?" She cast her gaze down as he continued, swallowing hard. "Yeah. I – yeah. Can't stop thinking about that part." "And on the other hand, there's that I don't know if your mum is going to take the same precautions she did with us, or if she's even thought of it. Once your dad is there, he's there full on without any easing with baby steps. He's a full time part of Teddys life, overnight, and I don't think that's fair to Teddy, either, nor necessarily what's best for him-- but that's also not our call. And not fair to your mum." Dora sucked her bottom lip in, her mouth twisting about. Her face betrayed her inner conflict: some small urge to say something on her parents' behalf battling an inability to argue with anything he was saying, because they were her concerns too. Grappling with being both the child and the parent was more difficult than she had anticipated -- for all she wanted to pretend as if her dad's return was some entirely uncomplicated miracle, like their own reoccurrence it posed all sorts of complications. "We'll talk to her. See what the plan is," she eventually said. At that he'd bring her hands up so he can kiss her knuckles, doing his best to not sit in his own complicated feelings about all of it for the time being, "soon enough, we're going to have a best selling how-to reoccurred parenting manual on our hands. maybe see if teddy will do the pictures." She snorted, grateful for the humour cracking a path through her thoughts. "All you'd see is a turquoise flash. Maybe one or two where he makes it into shot a moment before he wriggles out." If a heart could explode at mental imagery, that would have done him in for sure. He smiled so fondly, "I would take those shots as the highest compliment." "We should take more pictures. Stick some up on the fridge whenever we get a place." She was matching his smile, all fondness and hope, though there was a quiet secondary thought behind it. That he should have those pictures too, should the worst happen. "Have a few framed at strategic corners so it appears as if he can race himself to his room." Dora sighed into a smile, her features softening at the thought. She let go of his hands and reached her arms up to lace them around his neck, sinking into his chest. "Sounds great," she murmured, readily sinking into the daydream. His arms returned around her as he smiled through a kiss to the top of her head, "one of these days I'm going to convince him to help me surprise you with breakfast in bed, only he'll give us away long before we're ready with it through his excited giggling." "And then we'll cover the sheets in toast crumbs." "And beans knowing the pair of you." A soft hum of agreement vibrated in her throat and she closed her eyes, content to take a few slow breaths in the hug. After a long moment she said, "I'm sorry," softly. "I feel like a dick. I'll find something soon, okay? It won't all be on you." "You'll make yourself miserable putting that sort of pressure on yourself, cariad. Supporting us is in no way a burden in my books. We're going to be okay. We're going to get to that crumb covered breakfast. Ti a fi." "I know," she said with a sigh. "And I know setbacks happen. I just can't shake the frustration. Merlin, of all the things I thought we'd have to get through if we won, it wasn't this." Dora tried to laugh, but it came out a small humourless huff. She let her arms slide down from his shoulders and pulled out of his grip, walking over to their bed and flopping down on her back. "Think I'll take that chocolate now." |