Teagan's words sink in, and he can't be sure whether they help or harm. It eases his guilt, and he can't help feeling like he doesn't deserve that. He shouldn't be letting himself take comfort in her conviction, shouldn't find himself agreeing with what she says. He's the Dog King because he has to be. The Dog King is more reputation than reality, a persona he's built to help protect his family from the threats always encroaching. But even if there are aspects of his life that he lied about, didn't he show Lita some of the truest sides of himself? The tender hearted stalwart protector, the inquisitive and eccentric mind, the resolute warrior and loving friend. She saw all of that, didn't she? He was gentle and generous and the heart he dared to reveal to her was never a lie. It makes him feel a little righteous to think about it that way, but he doubts that will get him anywhere with Lita. Not that groveling has, either.
"She called me James." It hurts to admit. Teagan can hear it in his voice. It's not just the Dog King that's been rejected. It's his truest, most vulnerable self that he let this woman catch a glimpse of. "I've talked to her. A little." Rodeo draws out his phone and flicks on the flashlight to make his own rounds, but there ain't much to find down here. "Sometimes she's real cold. Sometimes she ain't. She says she needs time or space or somethin', but I don't... who knows how much fuckin' time any of us have got these days. I don't want space. I want her. It pisses me off, you know? I mean. That ain't gonna win me any points if I let it show, that's for sure. But when she says she needs space, I just... I wanna ask why. What difference it's gonna make. If she ain't ever afraid one of us will die before she's ready to forgive me." Rodeo sighs, switching off the light on his phone and sticking it back in his pocket. Whatever happened to Kodiak and Ib, they sure never made it out here. "Hell, maybe she never will. Maybe sayin' she needs space is just her way of tellin' me to fuck off, and I ain't takin' the hint."