Rodeo has always had this dogged hope inside him, and all his days it's been both his torment and his savior. Every moment, every turn of events, he somehow manages to get his hopes up that nothing will go wrong, that things will be better. All along the way, Rodeo still manages to hope she'll respond to him, melt to his touch, come around on him. When they come out with his hand on her back, he wants to turn her into his arms but he finds her too distant to draw close. When he asks her to come back with him, he hopes she will say yes, hopes she will come see that piece of shit trailer he's more proud of than anything in that whole park. He hopes she'll come let him show her off as his. But she says to take her back, and he knows where back is alright. He don't know why his hopeful heart keeps getting raised up when it's only gonna get kicked down, but when she climbs on behind him and starts to put her arms around him he starts feelin' it again. He hopes she'll hold on tight like she always does, but her hands only rest there like they wouldn't mind losin' him to the wind out there. His heart is a throbbing ache the whole way back, wrenching cruelly in his chest. As they come to a stop in the parking lot she's off his bike in an instant. She throws the helmet to the ground, and Rodeo knows she don't plan to ever put it on again.
But the things she says throw him, confuse him. The anger, he expects. But her reasons are difficult for him to follow. He climbs off his bike, taking off his sunglasses and stepping in closer to Lita. He looks down at her, shaking his head. He's a little breathless with the adrenaline he's feeling, the awareness that this may be the last time he ever sees her sharpening his focus intently. He knows he has only moments to try to talk to her, moments before she cuts him off entirely. He's got to try to make it count.
"No. No, it ain't like that," he says, sounding kind of impatient over the idea that she'd think it at all. "It was never about not trustin' you. Never. It's me, baby. I'm the one is hateful. Look at me." Rodeo holds up his fists, knuckles covered in blood and black and blue. "You see the way I fuckin' live, Lita? I ain't proud of what I am, the things I do..." Rodeo drops his hands, jaw working as he chews on his next thought.
"At first, when we met up to trade, when you was treatin' Wheeler... I really, I swear, I just thought it was better off if ya didn't know who you was helpin' for sure. Plausible deniability or somethin', right? I thought we was just keepin' it all on the down-low, but then... then I wanted to see you again. I mean, tell me true, you reckon you'd have gone for a second date with the Dog King? I don't think so. I wanted... I wanted to be James to you. I wanted you to believe in me. I needed you to believe I'm a good man, but I know... I know I ain't. I lied to you 'cause I'm a goddamn coward, mama. 'Cause I was scared you wouldn't want me if you knew the truth, and I didn't wanna face that rejection. So I fuckin' lied. I took the choice outta your hands. Be mad at me for that. But don't you dare think it was 'cause I had no trust in you."