Rodeo doesn't feel like he can win here. No matter what he says, the damage is already done. He's already hurt her and he's not sure how to fix it, how to make it any better. If it's even possible to make it any better. There's a sour pit forming in his stomach, and he knows it won't be long until he sinks into it. He lifts the bottle and drinks.
She says she'll bleed for him, bleed out for him, and it leaves him feeling only pain and panic. Here he is wondering if she's betraying him, when there ain't a fuckin' soul in this camp who has more love for this crew than she does. How could he look at her and wonder? Her heart beats for that patch on her back. She's fought tooth and claw for them all. She's saved his live a hundred times, proved her loyalty again and again. How could it be her? How could his head get so twisted up?
It's not her.
It just can't be her.
"I don't expect that," he finally says. His voice is a little strained. "I don't-- I don't expect nobody to bleed for me." He takes a deep breath and lifts a hand, pushing it through his hair to drag it back from his face. "Maybe I didn't handle this right. I'll accept that. Maybe I shoulda told you first that this is what I decided on. I swear it ain't gonna be like this, it's just... I had to do this. I had to. I thought if I could make this choice, make it all on my own, it would change something. Change me. I don't know if that's true, I don't feel any fuckin' different, just feel like I left ya out in the cold on it. That isn't what I wanted. That isn't how it's gonna be. I swear, T. You know you ain't padding. You never been padding. Hell, you're the first one I wanna turn to half the time. If I made you feel like that ain't true, I'm real sorry. You're right here." Rodeo lifts a hand to press his palm over his heart. "You reckon you got it in you to forgive me, darlin'?"