Paige Goodall (shearmadness) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2017-04-19 11:04:00 |
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Entry tags: | # past / backstory, nathan posey, paige goodall |
Who: Nate Posey & Paige Goodall
Where: California
What: The good times and the bad times of married life.
When: June 2008, Christmas 2008 & June 2011
JUNE 2008 With the long weekend ahead of them, Paige and Nate packed up their truck and decided to head to one of their favorite camping spots. With the tent set up and firewood gathered for later, she and Nate had set out on a hike. They’d been here before but there were a lot of trails and she kinda felt like she’d been looking at the map upside down this whole time. Coming to a halt as they came to another fork in the trail, Paige rested her hands on her hips and looked between the two directions. “Baby, I think we’ve just got to admit that we’re lost and we’ll probably be eaten by wolves.” Lost they may be, but not without a sense of humor. “I’ll let ‘em eat me first, so y’all can try to escape,” Nathan replied, eying the two directions one after the other. He had a compass, but they felt turned around enough that even using that wouldn’t sort them out. What did he really know though, he’d never been a boy scout. Circling an arm around her waist, he rested his chin on her shoulder. “We’re real lost though, ain’t too much of a man to admit that now. What should we do? Pick a direction?” It really served him right for not learning the trailheads and paths a little better. At least they still had more than a couple hours of daylight, if he was trying to find a bright side. “We might as well,” Paige said, leaning her head into him, tilting her head just so so she could land a kiss on his jaw. “Because staying in one place isn’t going to get us back any faster. Besides, some of the trails do have signs. We just need to find one to put us back on track.” If all else failed they could try and climb up a tree and see if they could get any hints from that. “Hmmm, I think I’m feeling that the right is our lucky side. What says you, dear husband?” “You’re the brains here, beautiful, I’m trustin’ your instincts.” His had probably gotten them lost in the first place. He was used to seeing things from the air, not trying to navigate on the ground. Not a great excuse, but still the one he’d use. Nathan released his hold on her, and kissing her neck quickly before he stepped away. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and run across someone the way we’re walkin’,” he suggested idly before he headed down the right fork in the trail. “Those odds gotta be in our favor, right?” They hadn’t been the only people at the Ranger's station when they checked in, and the trails were a draw for most people when they visited. “The longer we’re out here, the more I keep thinking we’re going to have to belt ourselves to a tree and sleep there for the night. You know, like in that Hunger Games movie?” Paige’s voice raised to mimic the actress from the movie and echoed Nate’s words back at him, “May the odds be ever in your favor.” Grabbing Nate’s hand, she laced her fingers through his as they continued walking on the trail. With a crinkle of her nose she shook her head and said, “Except I really hope that is not what this hike is going to turn into. So yes, let’s hope that we run into someone.” “I won’t let it,” Nathan assured, squeezing her hand. He would be damned if they ended up spending the night out in the open. “Reckon it goes against my vows if I let y’all sleep in a tree.” He winked at her, then let his eyes scan over the scenery. It hadn’t seemed to change much, but they were still only about twenty feet from the fork, and after hours of being turned around, every tree started to look the same. “Ain’t really what my plans were for the night either.” He’d only been back from cruise a few days, so there was a lot of lost time to make up for, in his opinion. Paige’s cheeks flushed ever so slightly and she turned her head slightly to look out of the corner of her eye. “You had plans, did you?” She asked, trying to stop her mouth from smiling. She had a pretty good idea of what those ‘plans’ were, and given the fact that they were reunited after spending far too long apart, she greatly approved of them. Laughing slightly, she added, “I don’t seem to recall anywhere in our wedding vows that you promised to never let me sleep in a tree, but I like the addendums. It’s like how we add amendments to the Constitution, because we realize other things we want to value. Marriages should be like that too, I think.” As they grew old together their relationship was going to change, but there wasn’t anything wrong with that. That was just life. “Me too,” he agreed. “Must be why we work.” He bent over and kissed her hair, never missing a step as they kept down the trail. Lost in thought as she was, what with topics of the constitution and their relationship (which somehow worked in the same conversation), it took her a minute to realize that now they’d rounded a large hill and could see a more sweeping view to the east, that there was smoke rising to the sky in the near distance in the valley just below them. She still didn’t know exactly which trails were going to lead them down there, but it seemed like a good sign if they could see where people were probably staying. “That looks like it’s coming from a campfire, right? Could be from our campsite? Or the one just up the road from us?” Getting his bearings, Nathan nodded. Knowing which way was east, where they had set up camp, and what some of that landscape had looked like gave him some confidence that they hadn’t been as far off as he thought they might have been. “Might as well start heading that way. Even if it ain’t ours, they might have a trail map.” And if the kept heading east down into the valley they’d get to the smoke eventually. “Reckon I won’t have to protect you from bears or wolves after all.” He gave her a silly smile and picked her up off her feet before she could protest. “I’ll apologize to the neighbors in advance, though.” He crept his fingers underneath the hem of her top. “You know, for the noise.” Paige shivered, at both the touch and his words. He knew how easily he could get her riled up and he was already playing dirty. “That’s rather presumptuous of you, don’t you think?” She asked, trying to put up a strong front but her voice quavered, a sign that Nate would surely pick up on. “I was thinking we’d just make s’mores tonight and sing songs around the campfire,” she continued, with a laugh. “Those were your plans for tonight, right?” “To a T,” Nathan responded, “Was plannin’ that. Then we’d turn in early, get some real good sleep and go hikin’ again in the mornin’.” The last part cracked on a laugh, a smirk edging onto the corners of his mouth. “You know me so well, beautiful.” Setting her back on her feet, he kept her close, his real intentions obvious in the way he looked at her. “I ain’t been between your thighs in months, but what’s another day, right?” With the concern about getting back to camp ebbing away with the reacclimation of where they were, Nathan allowed his thoughts and his mouth a little free reign. “I reckon we’ll be tired from all this trekkin’ anyway.” The hiking was giving Paige enough of a workout, but Nate’s words caused her to let out a shaky exhale as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Yeah… so so tired,” she said slowly, no actual conviction in her voice. “But I brought some of that instant coffee for breakfast. If you’re too tired we could open it up early. If you want.” She could try to play it cool all she wanted but they both knew they’d up a tangled mess of limbs that evening anyway. A beat, maybe two, then Nathan was laughing. Not loud enough to echo, but if there had been wildlife nearby it probably would have been disrupted. “Baby, If we ain’t makin’ it a sprint I reckon I can skip the wannabe-coffee.” He dotted a line of light kisses down her throat. “Been trained to power through fatigue.” He crept his fingers higher up her back. “But when we get back to camp I’ve got pla --” Nathan cut himself off abruptly at the sound of footfalls, straightening in time to spot another couple just walking into the clearing. “Company,” he told his wife, though it was already obvious. It was a beat later before he withdrew his hands to more appropriate places. “Hey, y’all have a map on you?” Grabbing Nate’s hand to ensure that he would behave himself, Paige smiled at the couple, grateful that they’d run into people. “We got all turned around when we went to that trail round there,” Paige said, pointing with her free hand, then added with a chuckle, “I think the hill did us in.” The man pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it before turning it where Paige and Nate could see. “You must have gotten real far into the trail that way,” he said, pointing to many intertwining paths on the map for the area Nate and Paige had just been hiking in. “It’s a lot simpler from here on out. This here is the main trail and it splits off closer to the bottom of the hill to the two different camp sites. There’s a sign marking the two sites, right Barb?” The man asked, turning his head to look at his wife. “Mmm, yes. Eagle Ridge and Sycamore Canyon? Are you staying at either of those?” The woman asked. “Sycamore Canyon,” Nathan confirmed, a sigh of relief threatening to bubble itself up out of his chest, his typical winning smile emerging as a sign of his gratefulness. He took another long look at the map and the trail, committing it to memory. Looked like only a couple miles down, more or less, so they could probably be back to their camp in under an hour. “Thanks,” he added. “My wife was real worried we’d be spendin’ the night with the wolves.” He squeezed Paige’s hand, and gave her a quick, teasing look before he let the other couple enjoy the view over the valley. Drawing her in close, he rested his free hand on her cheek and said more softly, “So, back to those plans.” Then kissed her quickly, with no shortage of intent, before he started down the trail that would lead them back to their campsite. CHRISTMAS 2008 (nsfw) The kitchen in their two bedroom house on base looked like a tornado just might’ve been through it. There was flour on the counter tops, open canisters of baking ingredients, dirtied measuring cups, and one very pleased with himself Nathan. Despite the mess he’d made (which he would clean up), he’d gotten up early -without disturbing Paige- to make the sticky buns he’d had his mama walk him through twice. They were in the oven now, and although he’d thought about making the rest of the breakfast without his wife, he decided at the last minute that he’d rather they do it together. As the beginning of a tradition. It was their first Christmas, after all. So he grabbed the silly Santa hat from the corner of the counter where he’d left it after they had come back from their last holiday party, put it on and padded down the hall to their bedroom. Where he stopped in the doorway only long enough to admire his sleeping wife. Even asleep, with her hair mussed up, Nathan still thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Careful about making too much noise, he climbed back into bed beside her and kissed her bare shoulder. “Mornin’ beautiful,” he murmured in her ear. “Time to wake up.” Paige rolled over, hair strewn across her face, and let out a sleepy yawn. “Baby it’s early,” she groaned, voice raspy with sleep. Never mind the fact that she didn’t even know what time it was, but it felt early and that was all that mattered in her eyes. Her nightgown twisted and pulled down as she wiggled around to face Nate better, giving him a pretty good cleavage shot, though Paige was rather oblivious to it all as she grabbed his arm and tried to pull him into bed. Since he was already mostly settled, it wasn’t like it took a lot of convincing for him to cozy up with her a little more. “What’ve you been doing up so early anyway? Something smells good. Were you cooking? I thought we were going to make breakfast together.” Despite the fact that she was still trying to burrow her way back into the bed, she’d pretty much accepted that she was awake now. “Just makin’ my mama’s sticky buns,” Nathan answered. “Thought about doin’ the rest myself, but figured I best stick to the original plan.” He hooked a thumb into the neckline of her nightgown and smirked. “And If I’d known I was gonna get such a view when I woke you up I would of done it earlier,” he teased, leaning over to kiss her. Morning breath be damned. He snuck his other arm underneath her back, and shifted the both of them out of the bed, not entirely trusting that she wouldn’t have some sneaky plan to keep them there. “There’s coffee in the kitchen,” he murmured against her mouth, once he was sure she had her feet under her, although he had both arms around her. “Freshly ground from the shop y’all like just outside of base.” Paige gave Nate an affronted look as she realized that he’d somehow tricked her -- or rather manhandled her -- out of bed. And to think she was going to propose some breakfast sausage in bed before they went and made the real breakfast! Well, no sir, not anymore! Grumbling slightly with a pout on her lips, Paige toddled over to the closet and grabbed her robe, tying it more vigorously than strictly necessary. She wasn’t actually angry, but she liked making a show of how not a morning person she was. “Lead me to coffee, oh cruel one,” Paige said, arms outstretched like a zombie. Instead of grabbing her hands, Nathan went directly for her waist instead, picking her up to carry her down the hallway to the kitchen. He had had to get used to the fact that Paige seemed to be allergic to mornings, and it hadn’t been easy in the beginning, but now he thought it was cute the way everything was a big show when he coaxed her out of bed. Once in the kitchen, he set her down on one of the only clean parts of the counter, smoothing her still sleep rumpled hair a little more, before he went about the business of getting her some caffeine. “A peace offerin’,” he said, holding the coffee cup out to her once he’d fixed it up the way he knew she took it. “So you’ll still speak to me today.” In lieu of saying thank you, Paige just took the cup of coffee and despite the scalding temperature, took a few big gulps of it. With some caffeine starting to circulate through her bloodstream, she set the cup so she could wrap her arms around Nate’s shoulders and lean in to kiss him. “You’re too good to me, baby,” she laughed, “And it really does smell amazing. What else should we make to go with them?” Resting his hands on Paige’s thighs, rucking up her robe and nightgown with the motion, he gave her question some thought. “Omelettes?” he offered thoughtfully, before giving her another kiss. “Or waffles?” he continued, kissing her neck that time. He wasn’t trying to start anything really, but he wasn’t not not trying to start anything either. He probably missed an opportunity by rushing the both of them out to the kitchen so quickly. It had been an unfortunate strategic misstep on his part. Eyes closing slightly, Paige hummed out a happy noise at the feeling of his hand on her bare thighs. Though she was hungry for breakfast and the rolls in the oven smelled amazing, she was pretty powerless when it came to the physical effect Nate had on her. “Or, what are those pretentious roll things?” He racked his brain for the name. “Popovers?” Eyes cracking open, Paige let out a chuckle. “Pretentious rolls things? Baby, you love popovers. I put a pan on our wedding registry and everything, but we haven’t used it yet. I think today would be perfect for it though. Maybe with omelettes? We can’t eat only bread for breakfast,” she said, laughing again. “Says you,” Nathan countered, moving his hands a little higher, causing Paige’s breath to hitch slightly. “I can think of a few ways to burn off those carbs.” Then, as if to illustrate or back up his point he hooked an arm around Paige’s waist and pulled her closer to the edge of the countertop, kissing her neck. “But if you’re real set we can do omelettes too,” he amended, nosing the fabric of her robe out of the way so he could leave open mouth kisses along her collarbone. “We got all day.” He tugged at the tie on her robe, then made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat when it didn’t seem to loosen even a hair. Turning his head upwards he gave Paige puppy eyes. “Could I get a little help, beautiful?” Moving her hands to her waist, she laughed at his inability to to get it open and went to work on it herself. “So… right here on the counter?” She asked, a blush rising on her cheeks. She finished undoing the knot, pushing it open as she said, “My husband is such a scoundrel. Dragging his poor wife out of bed at the crack of dawn,” her voice overly dramatic, clearly embellishing on the details, “Putting her up on a cold, hard counter instead of letting her stay in her warm, cozy bed…” Hands wandering over to wrap her arms around Nate’s neck, Paige suppressed a smile, not wanting Nate to know that fooling here in the kitchen was more than okay with her. “Can you imagine a husband who would treat his wife like that? And on Christmas morning to boot?” Nathan smirked, not gullible enough to take his wife’s dramatics as truth. “Well, I was plannin’ to make you come a few times, actually,” he drawled slow, kissing her neck, letting his hand wander until he stroked his thumb against her pussy, once, twice, then moved it back to high on her thigh, a whine escaping as Paige mourned the loss of contact. “Was gonna finger fuck you, then eat you out, then use my fingers again. See how many times I could get you moanin’ and wet,” he paused, and if it was possible he smirked harder, aware that he was playing a little unfair, “before finally sinkin’ into your tight pussy and makin’ love to you real slow…” He straightened up, dropping both his hands back to his sides. “But if I really ain’t treatin’ you right, I reckon I could just start with makin’ breakfast first,” he finished, toying with one end of the tie to her robe, but very consciously not touching her. “Try to redeem myself before y’all label me a scoundrel for life.” “Mmm, baby, don’t stop,” Paige protested as Nate withdrew his hands back. Looking him right in the eyes, her lip jutted out in a pout as she said, “I’m sorry I called you a scoundrel,” hands reaching out to rest on his shoulders. As her hand moved back, toying with the hairs at the nape of his neck, she continued, “You’re the sweetest, sexiest, most caring husband I could ask for.” Now that they were several years into their relationship, wanting sex and being verbal about wanting sex was much easier than it had been when they’d first become physical. A leg extended out, looping around Nate’s waist in hopes of drawing him closer, and predictably he made the distance between them disappear. Grasping her hips, he tugged her close. “Breakfast can wait, right baby?” “We’ve got,” he glanced over her shoulder at the clock, “twenty minutes before those’ll burn.” He went back to rubbing at her clit, while his mouth explored her collarbones and any exposed skin he could find. “Where d’you want to start?” He increased the pressure of his thumb, drawing slow circles around her clit, like he had all the time in the world to get her off. “I’m open to suggestions.” He had plans, sure, but if Paige wanted something else he wouldn’t deny her desires. He was incapable of it. Leaning back up for a kiss, smiling against her mouth, he added, “We could fuck first.” And slipped one finger inside her as punctuation, crooking it just the way he knew would get the most delicious reaction from her. Eyes fluttering closed, Paige didn’t even try to fight it as she let out a shaky exhale. Just his finger already felt so good. It was times like these where Paige was especially grateful for her penchant to not wearing panties around Nate. And if this was what their Christmas traditions would be like in years to come, she had even more reason to love the holidays. With her legs spreading more widely, bringing her ass closer to the edge of the counter, Paige bit her lip and nodded at his suggestion. “You can tease me all you want later, but it would be a shame to let breakfast burn.” Holding back a smile, she added, “And I’ll know you’ll finish the job before the oven timer goes off.” “Don’t know whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult,” Nathan retorted with a wink as he pushed his boxers down and kicked them somewhere near the doorway once he had stepped out of them. “Either I’m that good, or…” he let the sentence hang in the air unfinished as he fit himself back between her thighs. Pushing her robe off her shoulders, he kissed a line of wet kisses down her neck then hiked the hem of her nightgown up so it was around her hips. Even though they still had gifts to open, Nathan had already decided his wife was the best gift he’d gotten; the best gift he’d ever receive. “Definitely a compliment,” Paige said quietly, her voice hitching on the last word. What she was trying to say -- though perhaps not as articulately as she’d like due to her almost complete inability to keep up with Nate’s dirty talk -- was that he knew how to get her off and she wasn’t worried about the time constraint dictated by the timer on the oven. And already he was proving her right with just a few kisses and touches. He teased her opening with the head of his cock, muffling a groan in the back of his throat, before he pushed into her. They weren’t strangers to a quickie now and then, but he had no intention of that this morning, instead he remained unmoving for a quarter of a minute, taking a few deep breaths, drinking up how tight she was around his dick like it was the first time. “God, beautiful,” he mumbled into her skin as he started a slow, almost lazy rhythm of thrusts. Leg moving back around around Nate’s waist, she relished the feeling of him slowly moving in and out of her wetness. Her forehead rested against his as he found his rhythm, and once she felt him bottom out, filling her completely, a moan escaped. “So good,” she breathed out, barely audible, but she knew that Nate would hear. He did, and smiled smugly, always proud of himself when he elicited any kind of response from her. She didn’t talk a lot during sex, but when she did, she tried to make it count. “S’all for you, baby.” He rocked into her, switch his rhythm up a little, but it wasn’t any more urgent than before. “All I wanna do is feel you stretched around my dick. Make me so crazy,” Nathan groaned. He never cared that Paige never did half as much talking as he did, he’d never been worried that she wasn’t into it. “Could live like this.” He caught her mouth in a kiss, then worked his way back down to her neck, sucking a spot into her skin that he knew wouldn’t fade quickly. “Fuck, baby,” he moaned into her neck, nipping at the spot he’d just made. Paige’s head fell back, giving Nate better access to the crook of her neck, which pulled a pleased noise from him as he continued to explore her skin. There was something very primal about being marked up by him, and she knew it was stupid to find it so sexy, but she did. It was a bit embarrassing when people asked her what the mark on her neck was, but most of the time she experienced her own sense of smug satisfaction that seemingly innocent Paige was definitely getting it on the regular and no one ever expected it of her. Moving both legs around Nate’s waist now, she kept him close, feeling friction against her clit each time he thrust into her. “Nate, baby, yes…” she moaned, unable to help herself. Quickening his thrusts, Nathan leaned his forehead against her shoulder and used one arm to pull her against him, like they could possibly share more space than they already were. “C’mon, c’mon,” he murmured. “Wanna see you come.” He aimed for the spot that would make her moan, and knew he’d find it without much fumbling. Years of being with Paige had taught him how to play her body like an instrument; he knew her body almost as well as his own. “C’mon baby,” he encouraged, his voice low and his accent more pronounced. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful like this.” He ramped up the friction between them, his own sense of self-control holding on by a thread. It had taken Paige a while to get comfortable with sex and being so vulnerable with another person, but by this point in their relationship, it was worlds easier for Paige to get out of her own head and just let herself feel. With Nate hitting that spot over and over, Paige’s breath quickened and with one more well-placed thrust, she inhaled sharply as she felt herself tighten around Nate’s cock. Legs tightening around his waist and nails digging into his back where she’d been holding, Paige rocked her hips up against him as she felt her orgasm take over. A domino effect, that’s what Nathan compared it to. He tried to hold out, but the combination of already being close to the edge and watching his wife reach the peak of her pleasure sent him following right after her, until they were the both breathing a little heavy, riding out the wake of their orgasms. “God, I love you,” he murmured, contented smile on his face, Santa hat still askew on his head. “So fucking much, baby.” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “Y’think we’d get away with that at your folks next year?” They hadn’t actually talked about which family they were going to spend Christmas with next year, but that didn’t matter for the teasing to work. Still feeling tingly and warm all over as she came down from her climax, a bashful grin spread on Paige’s face at Nate’s words. “Don’t be ridiculous, baby,” she half-said, half-laughed. She got nervous having sex in a bedroom while they were staying with one of their parents just because Nate could be so chatty and it wasn’t the kind of conversation Paige ever wanted overheard. Obviously there was no way they’d ever do something like this -- have sex in the kitchen or any other common area -- while staying with family. And though she knew he was only trying to get a rise out of her, dammit if she didn’t let it work. With her grip loosened, her arms hung casually around Nate’s shoulders, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I do like starting Christmas morning like this, though. Maybe we should always just stay home,” she grinned. “Me too,” Nathan agreed, kissing her quick on the mouth, then just below her ear, lazily without any real intent of starting anything again so soon. “We could make a deal for Thanksgiving and every other Christmas. Maybe keep New Year’s to ourselves also.” They had already agreed this year to do New Year’s with family, though, so he didn’t think that they could back out of those plans. Not even the newlywed excuse would probably work. Maybe an anniversary excuse, but Nathan liked seeing their family also. They hadn’t really seen a lot of them since they moved to California. “I could start every mornin’ like this, beautiful.” And they had a lot of mornings left, considering he wanted to grow old with her. “Even when we’re old and wrinkled,” he added, fishing for a laugh from her. With a happy laugh Paige gave Nate another kiss before reaching down and pulling her nightgown down. The timer for their sticky buns was bound to go off soon and after their activities, she’d worked up an appetite. If they were going to eat more than sugary carbs for breakfast, one of them had to get cooking. “You’ll still be the most handsome man around, even when you’re old and wrinkled,” Paige grinned, “Now c’mon, baby, let me down and I’ll start on the eggs.” Far from wanting to fight her request, Nathan took a couple steps backwards from the counter and his wife, then clasped both hands on her waist to help her down, letting her go only after her feet met the floor. “I’m gonna go find pants.” He smirked, gave her another quick peck on the lips, then grabbed his boxers off the tiles before heading back towards their room to get dressed. JUNE 2011 It was just a feeling when Nathan walked in the door. He couldn’t even have put his finger on it, but something just didn’t feel right. Or it felt less right than it had for months. Worse. He hadn’t wanted to turn the corner to the kitchen, and his hesitation was rewarded when he saw the look on Paige’s face. He knew most all of her expressions, and the one she was wearing wasn’t good. “Hey,” he greeted, feigning like he hadn’t caught on that something was wrong sidestepping the issue, like he had been for months because he just didn’t know how to face anything head on. “Thought you’d still be workin’ at this hour.” “No,” Paige said, not bothering to elaborate. While it had been the trend lately that she keep herself busy with work as much as possible, there were some things she just couldn’t ignore anymore. Like the fact that while Nate had last been deployed she’d hired a divorce lawyer and had all the paperwork ready to give to him. Nate hadn’t been home all that long, and with his return she’d been hoping that this was all a mistake and she could just rip the papers up, but things weren’t getting better. It was worse than ever and Nate felt like a stranger to her, when he was supposed to be her husband. Figuring there was nothing left to do but just get to it, like ripping off a bandaid, she said, “I’m done with this, Nate. We both know this isn’t working out anymore and I think we both know what needs to happen next.” “What?” Not what because he wasn’t following, but what because even though Nathan could have predicted it might happen, he hadn’t expected it tonight. “We’re really going to call it quits?” What was he supposed to do? If Paige had gotten all the way to that decision, he didn’t think there was anything that he could say or do to change her mind. Not after the months that they’d been living like they had. If he was going to save anything, Nathan felt like he’d already missed whatever opportunity there might have been. “You’re really serious.” Looking back afterwards, he’d know that everything he said had been the wrong thing, but he didn’t know that in the moment. “Why would I joke about something like this?” Paige asked, sighing and lifting a hand up to rub at her temple. She’d already been stressed out enough thinking about doing this, the last thing she needed was a headache to go along with it. “I thought--” she paused, heaving another sigh. “This isn’t what I expected. You’re never home and it’s not like I can even be mad about that because you’re risking your life to defend our country. But I thought I could handle it, the whole Navy wife thing. And I can’t.” Nathan sighed. He took a step towards her, then stopped. “I can’t change what I’m doin’, Paige.” But she wasn’t asking him to. Later he’d realize in all the little things that she had been, and he’d missed it. “You have papers?” He wasn’t a genius, but he wasn’t stupid either, and he wasn’t going to keep her somewhere she didn’t want to be anymore. He’d save face until she left for wherever she’d rather be, then he’d stop holding himself together. Manipulating her to stay wasn’t going to fix the things that were wrong. Paige opened her mouth but closed it almost immediately, not even sure what she wanted to say. Part of her wanted to fight him, push him to fight for her, but he’d said that he wasn’t going to change what he was doing, and as long as he was gone more than he was home Paige just didn’t see a way that this could work between them. It would be a pointless fight that would just draw out the inevitable. “Yeah,” she finally said, pushing the manilla folder across the table, filled with the divorce papers that she’d had drawn up several weeks ago. It might not have looked the greatest for them to be dated so long ago, but they were both done pretending that this wasn’t over, so what did it really matter? “I already signed it and there’s little post it notes that mark where you need to.” “Oh,” Nathan picked up the folder, then set it back on the table, “okay.” He’d have to tell his family, his buddies, he’d have to answer questions. It felt like an enormous thing, and maybe it was supposed to. It was a pretty big. It wasn’t something he thought he’d ever go through. He picked the folder back up off the wood. “I’m gonna just crash at Jack’s for the night.” He’d said that a few times before in the last year, and maybe it was cowardly, but he didn’t think he’d be able to spend the night in their house. “I’ll bring these back tomorrow.” He tapped the folder, and ran his free hand through his hair. Maybe worse than the crushing realization that they were almost officially over was the fact that knowing that didn’t mean he suddenly stopped loving her right along with it. Was he doing the right thing? “Just let me grab a couple of things.” He nodded towards the bedroom and swallowed hard. Paige swallowed hard, still not sure what she was supposed to say. It wasn’t like anything would make this better, and honestly, the sooner he left the sooner she could cry her eyes out. The lump in her throat was already uncomfortable, and with a strained voice, she said, “I’ll be in the other room,” before excusing herself to the second bedroom that had become her sewing office. Even though she was the instigator in all this, watching him pack things and making this real wouldn’t have been easy. With a sigh, Nathan stood in the kitchen for a full minute after Paige left. There was a numb feeling creeping into his chest, but he would have to ignore it until later. With another sigh, he moved down the hallway, pulled a bag from the closet in the bedroom and shoved clothing and other basic necessities into it on autopilot. From start to finish it only took him a couple of minutes, then he shouldered the bag and walked back out to the front door. Hesitating with his hand on the doorknob, he wrestled with whether to say something to Paige, before he decided to just leave it. Instead he closed the door loud enough for her to hear it in the extra bedroom. |