Mina Kulseth (sagacious) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2017-04-13 19:14:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2020 [04] april, leo russo, mina kulseth |
Who: Mina Kulseth & Leo Russo
Where: Mina's office at the Sober Living Community
What: A breakthrough session.
When: April 4, 2020
After Leo’s arrest in February, Mina had been shocked to learn that the same trusted employee who had betrayed Violet was someone she had once known as well. And while Mina was happy to see that Leo was no longer haunted by his addiction with prax, his decision making skills clearly hadn’t improved if he thought that being Austin’s arsonist was a good way to solve a grudge. It wasn’t like Mina was unsympathetic to how Leo felt and why he’d ended up trouble in the first place. She’d never been sold drugs by the Hellhounds, but their criminal lifestyle had put her father in harm’s path more than she liked to think about. Sitting across from Leo in another session, as had been mandated after he was released from jail, she crossed one leg over the other and rested her clipboard on her knee. “So what do you want to talk about today? Anything in particular on your mind?” When Leo had first started the sessions with Mina it had felt strange, not because of their familiarity with each other, but because he had never once saw himself as someone who would need therapy. Though, looking back on his life now he realized he was exactly the sort of person that should have sought counseling long ago. Now it just so happened to be court mandated, a reality Leo had brought upon himself when he had chosen to take revenge into his own hands. Months had lessened his fire for revenge -- though jail time probably helped in that as well -- but he still couldn’t with complete honestly say he was over his grudge against the Hellhounds. Which was probably exactly why he found himself seated across from Mina now. “Suppose it’s all the same things that have been on my mind since we started this,” Leo replied with a shrug. “Hellhounds, revenge, the people I hurt with said revenge, so yeah, same old, same old.” He wasn’t trying to be cagey or vague, Leo was still trying to find how to start out these sessions, how to order his thoughts and figure out what he really wanted to talk about in the time they were allotted. Meeting Mina’s gaze he offered her a faint smile as he said. “Guess I’m still struggling with how to live in a city where Hellhounds aren’t having to pay for the lives they ruined,” Leo sighed and ran a hand through his hair, shoving it out of his eyes. “I felt the same way for a long time,” Mina said, “But lately I’ve been thinking about how holding onto that anger for so long did nothing besides make me miserable. I know it’s hard to put yourself in their shoes, and I don’t condone their actions, but from the perspective that we were all just trying to survive, it’s made it a bit easier for me to let go of the past.” Leo certainly had reasons to be angry, but if he continued to let it control him, he might not be able to come back from it. What Mina said made sense, it truly did. Where Leo struggled though was in the letting go part. For so long seeking revenge had been at the forefront of his mind, hell, they had come back to Austin to do just that -- so how was he supposed to just release that? “I get how holding onto this anger isn’t healthy,” Leo started. “What trips me up is how do I let it go?” Leo raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “I think I need some kind of “how to” guide on how to let this grudge against the Hellhounds,” he paused. “And the anger that goes along with it.” Mina gave Leo a weak smile, wishing there was a button she could press that could make it all go away. That certainly would have made her life easier this past year. “What if you try channeling your energy towards things that will enrich your life in other ways? Obviously I think working on the emotional aspect will help, but you’ve other things to focus on like getting a job and moving out of the Center. Filling your life with things that matter to you can help you realize that you don’t have any room in your life to hold onto that resentment and anger.” Leo’s gaze drifted down towards the floor as he considered Mina’s words. Right now his life seemed so consumed with the mistakes he had made, after all he wouldn’t have even been sitting in Mina’s office right now if it weren’t for the path he had sent his life down. Her words made sense though, which he supposed they should since it was her job to counsel people. “Yeah, I mean, focusing on getting my life back on track probably would be a good way to remove room for that anger,” he paused, his gaze coming back up to lock on her. “It probably won’t be easy to try and make a life here in Austin after what I’ve done, though.” There wasn’t self-pity in his tone, just honesty. It would be an uphill battle to gain back anyone’s trust, Leo knew that. You couldn’t set fire to the city and expect to be welcomed back into it with open arms after the fact. Mina nodded in understanding. She supposed that the Hellhounds might feel the same way. After being viewed as villains for so long they were back to being a part of society and the government pardon hadn’t erased all the baggage. Leo and his brother’s actions would follow them and a degree of distrust towards them would be understandable. But Mina thought that if the Hellhounds could make a go of it, so could anyone else who may have made a mistake and now wished to change their ways. Even with all that in mind, Mina said, “You don’t necessarily have to stay in Austin. This will be on your criminal record, but if you thought it would be easier to make a new start where not all your neighbors knew everything about you, that could be an option in the future. I’m not suggesting that you run away from your problems, but it is an option. However, in the meantime while you’re finishing your probationary period, we can certainly work on improving your quality of life here in Austin.” Leo sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. “Marc and I left Austin once, and while it was actually nice to go somewhere where nobody really knew us, eventually we wound up back here,” he paused. “I think Austin is home now, for better or for worse. What’s left of my family is here, and I have to try and at least make things right before I even start entertaining a change in scenery.” In truth he hadn’t really given thought to leaving Austin, even if everyone knew his sins, outside of Baltimore this place was kind of home now. “Yeah, I mean, might as well make the best of what I’ve got going on here, right?” Leo flashed a faint smile. “Right now they have us helping with the zombie hunting thing, but that won’t last forever I’m sure. Guess after that wraps up it’ll be time to figure out what to do with myself,” he paused. “It’s not like I’m going to be able to get a job with the Fire Department or Paramedic service again, though,” this wasn’t said with any self-pity. “Never thought I’d be figuring out what I wanted to do with my life again, it’s kind of strange.” “The wonderful thing about Austin is right now there are a lot of opportunities for new businesses, so maybe when the time comes you’ll have an idea for something this city needs,” Mina said. Despite the situation Leo had gotten himself into, Mina couldn’t help but feel optimistic. He’d already overcome so much in his life by getting away from his Prax addiction, added to the fact that even though it would be easier to leave and start fresh, he was committed to staying in Austin and making a life for himself. There was still work to be done, but she had a feeling that everything would turn out alright for Leo. “Never thought that Austin could be considered a land of opportunity,” An amused kind of smile toyed at the edges of Leo’s mouth. “But the way you put it, well, it makes me think that you’re right. The city is in need of a lot, so when the time comes and I find my path, maybe there is a place here for me still.” That time was still probably a ways out, but at least it made him feel less like a ship lost at sea. Silence fell for a short moment while Leo let all that Mina had said so far in their session sink in. “You know I was skeptical about counseling when they made it a stipulation of my release,” he started. “But I should probably tell you that talking with you hasn’t been half bad,” another pause. “Doesn’t hurt that on some level you get why I’ve got my issues with the Hellhounds.” Or that despite everything he had done Leo never felt judged while he sat across from Mina in these sessions. Mina’s smile widened. This was why she loved her job. Seeing the impact that she could make in a person’s life was more rewarding than anything else she could imagine. “I’m glad to hear that it hasn’t been as horrible as you imagined it would be,” she said with an amused smirk. “And that it’s been helpful to you. Honestly, it’s helped me too. We’re all just trying to recover and adapt to this new chance we’ve been given and working things through with you has helped me too.” “It hasn’t been, and that’s in large part because of you,” Leo said, his smile genuine. “And well I’m pretty sure there were probably better ways I could have landed here, for whatever reason this was the path chosen an I’m glad some good has come out of it.” It made him feel marginally better about things, the fact that his being here and having to talk about his issues had also somehow helped Mina. There were many people in Austin from Leo’s old life that he could go without reconnecting with, but Mina had never been on that list. With another smile, Mina added, “I think we’re out of time for today, though. So I’ll see you same time next week?” Leo nodded. “Like clockwork,” he paused. “Unless a zombie chomps on me while I’m doing the whole zombie hunter thing.” Another court mandated thing. “Thanks again, Mina,” Leo stood up then and prepared to leave her office. “See you next week.” |