Mina Kulseth (sagacious) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2017-03-11 17:33:00 |
|
|||
Valentine’s Day had been a great success at Burgatory, personal issues aside. The lead up to it had been a lot of planning and prep and it had kept Violet busy, which she was grateful for. Between the fires that kept being set in the Greenbelt and the fact that Valentine’s was simply a reminder of her lack of success in the romance department of her life, she’d been glad for the distraction and the reason to keep busy. Seeing other people happy was something that brought a smile to her face, and there had been plenty of that over the span of the day. Plus, she loved to feed people, so any day where she got to do that in even greater fashion than normal was bound to rank well. That was extra important after the not so great conversation, or rather fight, she'd had with Ryan in the middle of it all. But she didn't want to think about that anymore. There were leftovers - mostly the desserts. Not knowing how much to prepare and the fact that it was all baked meant they’d made more than necessary, but an excess was better than running out. Violet figured they could offer the heart-shaped confections for half-off or simply give them to people as they felt was warranted, as either way was fine. She’d arranged a little tray showing the options still available to take up to the host stand at the front, so that even if people were coming into place take-away orders they would be able to see. Once it was to her liking she carried it to the front, though once she was there she fussed with it again, making sure the cookies weren’t overlapped too much or looking messy, taking a step back to look at it from the perspective of someone coming in the door, which her back was to, and she tilted her head to consider it before moving in and adjusting a hand-pie so it was better displayed. Mina had slipped away from work a touch earlier than she would have liked, but not wanting to interrupt Violet during a dinner rush had seemed like a worthy cause. Stepping into the restaurant, she stopped short of Violet and tilted her head, trying to understand what the other woman was looking at so intently. “The display looks nice if that’s what you’re trying to decide,” Mina said. Truth be told, she didn’t think it would matter how they were arranged. The cookies looked delicious -- almost too beautiful to eat, in fact. Violet looked over her shoulder quickly at the voice behind her, a tentative smile turning up the corners of her mouth. “Hi - thanks, I can get a little particular about how things look, I guess.” “There’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve had success with your restaurant so I’d say you’re doing something right,” Mina smiled. She turned to face Mina, bringing her hands up to tuck her hair behind her ears, nerves suddenly kicking in. There had been so much going on since Mina had asked to come see her, Violet hadn't had the chance to worry over it. Her mind seemed to be making up for it on the spot. “Would you like one? A cookie, or any of it, I mean.” “I’ve actually been craving one ever since I saw your post online. How much are they?” Mina asked, twisting to reach into her purse for her wallet before smiling back at Violet. “For you? Free.” Violet picked up one of the cookies in a napkin and held it out to Mina, offering her a smile. She paused for a moment before glancing over her shoulder into the restaurant before looking back to Mina. “Would you like to sit?” Mina opened her mouth to protest but the cookie was already right in front of her so there wasn’t much she could do. At least Violet knew now that she hadn’t been expecting any free handouts. With her wallet quickly stashed, Mina accepted the cookie and smiled bashfully. “Thank you,” she said, taking the seat that was offered to her, and Violet slid into the one across from her. Reaching into her purse once more, Mina pulled out a small bundle wrapped in tissue paper and slid it across the table. “And here is my other thank you. If you don’t like I’m sure she’ll let you exchange it.” Violet carefully unwrapped the tissue paper and her expression softened when she saw the scarf, though it immediately made her feel bad. It wasn't Mina’a fault - she was simply being thoughtful and sweet. “Thank you, Mina,” she said, looking across the table and smiling softly. “It's beautiful.” Hesitating slightly, mostly to steel herself, Violet let her fingers play with the fabric as she thought over her words. “I don't think I deserve it, though. I have to be honest, I didn't send you those flowers.” It was like ripping off a bandaid, and she wanted to be sure to get it all out. “Ryan did, without telling me. And I should have been the one but I was trying so hard to give you space and not push because of everything we’d talked about and I know we have different views about things and I understand that so I was trying to keep from… pushing.” Suddenly Mina felt so stupid. Of course Violet hadn’t sent her flowers. Just like Jane hadn’t sent her flowers. This was all some big mix up and here she was reading something into nothing. Her cheeks began to turn pink, shame creeping up on her, and she kept her eyes focused on the cookies as she replied. “Oh, well, that’s okay. It’s not as if I sent you anything either. But I think that scarf will look better on you than Ryan so you should still keep it. And if you still need space after that stuff…” she trailed off, gesturing vaguely, though it wasn’t very clear what Mina was trying to accomplish nonverbally. “I should have been to one to send them,” Violet said, pausing to bite the inside of her lip as she tried to work through her thoughts. “I think I was worried -- scared,” she corrected herself quietly, looking down to the scarf in her hands. “That you didn't want to see me anymore. And that maybe it was better to avoid thinking about that than deal with it. Which I know is stupid but I like you and I guess not knowing was better than a potential letdown.” Violet drew in a breath and exhaled shakily, her gaze flickering up to meet Mina’s. “I'm sorry. I should have sent them.” “If you’d wanted to send them then you would have,” Mina said calmly, no judgment in her voice. She couldn’t fault Violet for her fears but she also couldn’t pretend that hiding behind those fears would allow them to work through the challenges that faced them. “It takes more than just liking someone to make things work. Not that I really have any experience, so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about at all,” she said with a thin smile. “Believe me, I know,” Violet said almost under her breath. Liking someone wasn’t enough to make things work, and neither was loving someone. After all, wasn’t that what had happened with Lacey? She’d loved Lacey, thought she had her love in return, but then at the first sign of the world crumbling down no amount of convincing had gotten her to stay. Why should she think it would be any different for someone she’d known only a fraction of the time, and only seen a few times? Violet had known it wouldn’t be easy when Mina showed up that day to talk, but she found herself with even more unsettled feelings churning inside her than there had been at the start. “I’m sorry.” Mina looked across the table, a look of confusion on her face. Sorry for what? For not sending the flowers? For thinking that all of this was too complicated? Mina had her own doubts about whether they could ever move past the obstacles but did Violet even want to try? Letting out a sigh, Mina looked back down to her hands and asked, “So is that it then?” It was a dismissive question, and one Violet hadn't expected. Maybe she had been too optimistic, in the back of her mind - that she would tell Mina about the flowers situation and they would move past it and everything else and be able to move on. But not necessarily moving on further apart, as it seemed they were going to do. As much as she hadn't reached out over the weeks, months, neither had Mina - who wasn't even looking at her anymore. Violet wanted to get up, to disappear into the kitchen because food was easy, distracting, and didn't make her feel like a disappointment. “I guess, if you want.” “It seems like that’s what you want, so if it is, then I’ll respect it,” Mina said, glancing up now. They were both waiting for the other to prove that they were still in this, yet all they were doing was retreating into their fears. Mina was tired of being afraid, but the idea of putting herself out there only to be rejected didn’t seem appealing. How did people do this? Trying to figure out romantic feeling was so nerve wracking. “I know you’re not just someone who’s friends with the Hellhounds and I’m not just a police chief’s daughter. But if you think this is all too complicated, then I understand.” To Violet, it seemed more like that was what Mina wanted. And if Mina was as done as she seemed, then how was it not over? She bit the inside of her lip, not sure of what to say or what to do, because nothing seemed like it would make a difference. Was there even a point? Violet had done her best to be honest, open about how she felt, but she still had no idea if Mina even liked her anymore. The visit and gift felt done out of obligation thanks to the flowers Ryan had sent, and nothing else had been done or said to indicate any kind of feelings. “I never said that - that I thought it was all too complicated. I get that it does complicate things and I'm not trying to dismiss it. That was why I was trying to be respectful and give you space. If you think it's too complicated, that's fine. I’d just like to know.” Mina could advocate for her clients at the UMCB, the residents of the Sober Living Community and the orphanage until she was out of breath, but when it came to speaking for herself it was more difficult. Even still, this feeling of being in limbo was too much for her to handle, and with all the bravery she could muster, she said, “I know that neither of us has been the best about handling this situation, but if we want to see each other again or want to see what this is between us, can we just say so instead of continuing this fake politeness? I was just trying to give you an out so you could let me down easily, if that’s what you wanted. But now I’m more confused than ever.” “Of course I want to see you again,” Violet said, her brow furrowing. Maybe she hadn't expressed it as well as she wanted, or could have, which she would blame partially on the nerves. She'd at least said she liked Mina, after all, and had been scared Mina didn't want to see her anymore. “I’m sorry if I’m being confusing, I wasn't trying to be.” She drew in a breath, then let it out slowly. “Here - I don't need an out. I don't want one. If you're still interested too, I’d like to make you dinner sometime. Not here, like… actual dinner.” “I am still interested,” Mina said, feeling slightly more settled but still more vulnerable than she was used to. “I just--I needed to hear you say it without any potential hidden meanings or us skirting around what we’re really trying to say. I’ve told you before that I don’t have a lot of experience with any of this, but... I would like to have dinner with you.” Violet may have had experience but it felt like so long ago that it didn't count. She felt less on edge as soon as Mina spoke, that confirmation she'd been needing finally being said. A smile flickered across her features, and she gave a nod. “Okay, dinner. I’d like that. It can be whenever works for you, not that you have to tell me now or anything.” It felt a little like she had whiplash, going from wanting to run to suddenly feeling hope - but hope was a better feeling, though a scary one, so she would go with it. Smiling now, Mina looked across the table at Violet shyly and nodded. “I’ll look at my schedule and let you know what works best.” They’d been lucky to make it through their conversation uninterrupted, but now that it was getting later, people were starting to show up for dinner. “I should let you get back to work, though. I hope dinner service goes well tonight.” Unfortunately, Mina was right. Violet reached across the table to give one of Mina’s hands a gentle squeeze. “I’ll talk to you later, alright? And thank you.” For the scarf, and the second chance. Violet offered her a smile before getting up. “I hope you like the cookie. You can grab another one on the way out if you want.” With that, she headed back for the kitchen to get ready for dinner service, feeling more grounded and sure of herself than she had been earlier. |