Nina Clarke: ᴍᴀʏᴏʀ, ᴀᴜsᴛɪɴ ᴛx & sʜʏ ʙʟᴏʙ (commonlaw) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2017-02-18 20:50:00 |
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It was toward the end of the day, and Zach was ready to go home. He had kids to see, to spend some time with before tucking them in and kissing them goodnight. Plus dinner and story time and who knew what else. It all was mundane, but it was his life. Not that he thought he was mundane, but his life had fallen onto that path. He had a grown up job, a house, and kids. All the trappings of being a grown up without actually feeling like one. “Nina?” He knocked lightly on her office door before going in. Zach knew she didn't have anyone in there or much going on, winding down at the end of the day, so he didn't wait for a response before opening the door to go in. “I brought you a cookie!” "Thank you." Nina stood up to greet him, meeting him halfway between her desk and the door. She took the cookie without hesitation; by now, she was used to this happening with some regularity. The others still seemed to think she needed assistance taking care of herself, even though Nina personally thought she was doing just fine. She took a bite of the cookie before looking at Zach with some obvious curiosity. "Did you need something?" Nina’s office was so big and important, and even though Zach saw it every day it never lost that imposing nature. It wasn't a kind of office he could ever see himself working in, but it suited her. Different jobs for different people - that was how the world worked. He'd gotten a bit lost in thinking about it, which was why he'd stayed put after she'd gotten her cookie, and he blinked a couple times at her question before giving a shake of his head. “Oh, I was just getting ready to go so I figured I would come say goodnight.” Zach offered her a smile, though it was a bit on the tired side. “Did you need something? I can stay, if you do.” She returned the smile with ease, even as her eyes caught the way his seemed to have a slight edge to it. "No, I'm all right, thank you." Nina gestured towards the chairs in the middle of her office, just in case he wanted to sit. "I think Ms. van Eeden is just finishing up a brief, which I'll then need to review -- but I'm not sure when she'll be done, so don't let my working a bit later keep you if you've got something else to do tonight." Zach moved in to take a seat, leaning back in the chair and settling in. He certainly didn't mind putting off going home for a few more minutes, especially if his being there meant Nina taking a little time away from thinking about work. “I don't really have anything to do, just all the normal dad stuff like every other night,” he said with a shrug, bringing up his hand to rake his hair back from his face. “Neither of you should work super late, you know. Plenty of time tomorrow to finish things up!” "Oh, we'll be out of here soon enough." She offered him a conspiratorial smile as they looked back at each other and their usual boundary between employee levels faded away to when they'd first got to know each other. "The kids are treating you well, I hope?" “The kids are great.” Zach beamed proudly as he thought of them, because while he hadn’t ever imagined being a dad, especially so young, he’d had years to settle into the role and he loved his kids. “They’re the sweetest, you know? Plus Gigi keeps me colorful.” He held up his hands, palms facing himself to to able to show her the dark sparkly polish on his fingernails. "Very colorful," Nina agreed with a smile. "And she always has great taste in what will look good on you." “I still don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted quietly after a moment. It wasn’t something he liked to think about, but it did come into his mind more than he would ever say. Nina was a real grown up and someone he looked up to, which was the only explanation Zach could come up with for why he’d told her. The admission was a surprise, if only because they hadn't ever discussed such things together. Still, Nina was only thrown for a brief moment -- likely helped along because she and Kitty had recently had a conversation like this, too -- before she replied: "I don't know if anyone ever truly feels like they know what they're doing. Myself included." A slight smile flickered across Zach’s features, because he had a hard time believing that. Or maybe, even if Nina didn’t know what she was doing, she still managed to do things well anyway. She was the mayor, after all - and a good one, in his opinion. Still, it was a nice sentiment to hear. “I love them so much,” he said, because that was the most important. No matter what, he didn’t want anyone thinking he didn’t, or that he regretted his children - neither of which were planned but both of which had been welcomed with open arms. “But I feel like I’m stuck. Not because of them but I - all I do is work and dad and I love Kitty and she loves me but not like … that.” There was a lot to unpack there, Nina thought, but that was what she did for a living. Arguably, it was what she did best. "All right," she said, her tone turning a bit more business-like as she sought to solve the riddle Zach had unknowingly put in front of her. "So you'd like to do more in addition to what you have, such as add a new hobby or pursue a romantic relationship? Or you'd like to explore new jobs?" Nina paused for a moment, remembering their current relationship, before she added: "I won't be offended if you want to look for something else." “No! I love my job.” Zach truly meant that, and also slightly worried that if he left then there would be no one to keep the office and those in it from taking things too seriously. If he wasn't there, who would make sure people got cookies? Or a few minutes to themselves written into the schedule? Plus, they didn't care if he sometimes had to bring the kids in with him. It was a solid job, with good people. "It's all right if you don't," Nina reminded as a gentle disclaimer, but part of her did feel some relief from the correction. "Good to know, though; I'm honored." “I would like a relationship,” he added after a moment, fingers drumming idly on his legs. “I haven't ever, other than Kitty. I'd be good at it, I think.” I hope, silently echoed in his mind. “My hobbies, I’ve been writing more recently which is nice, so I think that counts.” Nina couldn't help but privately wonder why all twentysomethings she knew were so desperate for a relationship. Hadn't she sat through seven years of being singledom without much complaining for it? But then again, everyone was admittedly different. "Have you been attempting to meet new people or date?" she asked, all too aware that it was similar advice as she'd given Kitty last December. “No,” Zach admitted, his nose scrunching as he did. Of course he knew that was what needed to happen, but it seemed so complicated to try and do with everything else - mostly meaning the kids. He didn't want to seem like he was blowing off his parental responsibilities for the sake of a date. “I know that's the first step, it's just hard to get there. And I don't want Kitty to think I’m trying to run off, which I don't think she would but everything feels so complicated.” "I don't think that she would think that." Nina wasn't sure whether to break the confidentiality of her own conversation with Kitty, but in the end she decided in favor of it -- all the better to ease his worries, after all. "In fact, I think she's feeling quite similarly. And it makes sense; you're not involved with each other, so of course you might want to look elsewhere for romantic possibilities." “Right.” They always had each other - a nice sentiment, and Zach was glad he had Kitty but it also felt like it could be a resignation. They weren't ever going to be together like that again. “I want her to be happy, and I want to be happy too. I know we’re kind of… connected together forever, but we both want other people too. It's just taking that first step. I know I need to, I guess I just worry.” "About…?" There were many things that could concern Zach in the situation -- Kitty's feelings, his children's feelings, Zach's own feelings -- but Nina hoped he could elucidate further. “Everything.” Zach chewed on the inside of his lip as he thought about how to try and narrow it down. “I don't know what the kids would think, if they'd even think anything because they're so little but it's not like they get that Kitty and I aren't together together because they just see mom and dad. And about rejection, I guess.” "I think you should talk to Kitty about this," Nina suggested gently. "You both could support each other better as you go through this together if you were open about it to each other, I think." Both of her friends had almost sounded embarrassed or ashamed about what they wanted when they'd individually spoken to her, but she didn't want that for them in the slightest -- and she doubted either of them wanted that for each other. “Yeah,” Zach murmured, bringing his hand up to rub over his face. Really, he should have started with Kitty. She was his best friend, and had been since forever. It just felt like a weird thing to talk about, but if she'd talked about it with Nina too then maybe it wouldn't be so weird. “Thanks, Nina. I'm sorry for… blabbing at you, I guess.” "It's all right." She studied him for a moment, taking in the worry that still clouded his face, before her own expression softened. "You can always talk to me if there's anything on your mind, all right? And I'd love to know how it goes once you talk to Kitty." Zach looked over at his boss, grateful for her more than usual. He knew Nina was a good person, but usually he saw her as too busy for silly problems he had when she had the whole city to take care of. But he could see from her expression that she meant it when she said he could always talk to her, and he took that to heart and treasured it. “Okay,” he agreed with a nod, offering her a smile before pushing up out of his chair. “Remember not to work too late today.” He paused, before his smile spread a little more. “But if you do, there are extra cookies in my desk.” Zach gave Nina a salute before rocking back on his heels to move toward the door and the rest of the day that was on the other side of it. “See you tomorrow, Nina.” |