Who: Nick and Lita. Where: Nick’s house. What: Nick finally takes Pete's advice and puts himself out there and Lita is forced to recognize that the two of them aren't "just friends" after all. When: (Backdated) November 8, 2019, after the big Thanksgiving dinner at Savannah's, night.
Some nerve you have To break up my lonely And tell me you want me How dare you march into my heart? Oh, how rude of you To ruin my miserable And tell me I'm beautiful 'Cause I've had my heart Broken before And I promised I would never let me hurt anymore But I tore down my walls And opened my doors And made room for one So, baby, I'm yours
Thanksgiving at Savannah’s had been a complete success. Lita had eaten plate after plate of turkey, mashed potatoes, hotdish, and pie like a champ. With all the good food, wine, and conversation, Lita felt happy and full but by the end of the evening she was more than ready to go back to Nick’s and get comfortable. After they had taken the dogs out and fed them, Lita started disrobing almost immediately. Luc was at his family’s until tomorrow for Thanksgiving so she had no qualms about stripping down to her skivvies as soon as they had locked the house up for the night. Even though her holiday ensemble had been super cute, Lita lamented that she hadn’t wore leggings to accommodate for how much food she had put away. She shimmied out of her tight black pants (made a little bit tighter by that second helping of sweet potatoes) and pulled off her lavender sweater, leaving the offending, restrictive items in a puddle on the bathroom floor as she brushed her teeth. She picked through the clean clothes basket until she found one of Nick’s shirts, removed her bra and pulled the teeshirt over her head. When she was finished, she walked to Nick’s bedroom and flopped into his bed in her comfy boyshorts and shirt ensemble.
“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much in my entire life,” she said, snuggling into Nick’s comforter and inhaling the familiar scent of him in the fabric. She yawned and stretched, somehow still graceful and catlike despite feeling like a complete beached whale after their huge meal. She turned sideways and propped her head in her hand to look at Nick as he got ready for bed.
“Pete did a pretty okay job deep frying that turkey,” she admitted grudgingly. Coming from Lita, it was high praise indeed. She let out a noise that was somewhere between a huff and a sigh. “I still can’t believe him and Savannah are back together again.”
It had been nearly half a month since Lita had received the awkward group text from the new couple, announcing that they were giving dating another go. Despite her initial shock and her longstanding rivalry with Pete, Lita had wished them the best. Since then, she had been doing her best to be supportive of the whole thing but in the privacy of Nick’s room, she felt she could talk about it without censoring herself.
“When you were doing your hour of Minnesota goodbyes they were totally looking at each other all googly-eyed,” Lita said. Both the length of Nick’s parting words and the longing looks between her best friend and her new boyfriend were more than a little exaggerated but she felt as if she made her point.
Today had been, well, next to perfect in Nick’s opinion. A honest to fucking god Thanksgiving with nearly all the people they considered family, he was pretty sure that ranked up there as one of the best things ever. It had felt so normal, right down to the fact that he had eaten way too much food. Now the cherry on top was that Lita was lounging in his bed, and god was she a sight. Nick was not by nature a possessive guy, but something about the way she had taken his shirt and claimed it as her own was really fucking hot. That thought was quickly and swiftly followed by the one that lingered on the edges of his mind lately, the thought that told him he needed to man up, needed to talk to Lita about how he felt. How he really felt.
Splashing his face with water and placing his toothbrush back in hits holder, he came to stand in the doorway that lead from the bathroom into his room, smirking at Lita as she sprawled on his bed like she owned it. “Comfortable?” Nick asked as he stepped into the room and began discarding his jeans and button down for a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt.
“Exceedingly,” Lita replied with a self-satisfied smile.
All joking aside, he couldn’t ignore her remarks about Pete and Savannah, though it was apparent they might share differing opinions on the state of what their friends were venturing into. Maybe Nick felt like this was just life coming full circle, Pete and Savannah finally admitting to something they hadn’t been willing to admit to all those years ago in college. He had had a front row seat to that, and the fall out. He hoped this time things would end differently, and by differently he was hoping they wouldn’t end at all.
“The turkey was badass,” Nick agreed as he settled on the edge of the bed and pulled his glasses out of the side table. “And what can’t you believe about it?” he questioned, curious to know what Lita’s opinion on them really was.
Lita’s reply was only to shrug. She couldn’t pinpoint what her feelings toward Savannah and Pete’s rekindled romance were exactly, only that it was something she would need some time to get used to.
He chuckled as Minnesota goodbyes were referenced. “I tell you about Minnesota goodbyes once and now you never miss a chance to remind me I take a long ass time to leave,” Nick shifted then, climbing onto the bed further, back pressed against the headboard.
“And you never miss a chance to take a long ass time to leave since you told me about them,” Lita bantered back, reaching up to adjust Nick’s slightly askew glasses.
“Me? Make the goodbye longer? Never.” Nick hide a barely contained smirk and then continued talking. “I appreciate that you stuck it out and stayed with me.” He tacked on as he coaxed Lita to move so that he could wrap an arm around her. “I’m sorry they were being sappy, but, I mean, isn’t it better that Savannah’s happy?”
All Lita’s remarks about Savannah and Pete’s newly minted relationship wasn’t exactly making Nick leap at the idea of bringing up the topic of them possibly changing what theirs was.
“They really weren’t being sappy,” Lita admitted with a sigh, settling in against Nick’s chest. She peered up at him. It was so like Nick to to look on the bright side of things while somehow validating her opinions at the same time. “And of course I want Savannah to be happy. And, I know it’s hard to believe but I wouldn’t mind if Pete were happy, too. I just worry about her is all. She’s been through so much and if it didn’t work out…”
She trailed off, shrugging again. “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”
Wasn’t Lita voicing the very reason he hadn’t said anything to her about his own feelings? If they didn’t work out they’d both end up hurt, and Nick couldn’t do that to her. Yet, he also couldn’t sit on his feelings and pretend like they didn’t exist. Pete was right, someday he would end up regretting having never said anything. “I don’t want Savannah to get hurt either,” Nick began. “But, I mean isn’t that a risk with any relationship?” He looked down at Lita, the little voice in his head trying to urge him to say something of his own feelings.
“I don’t really know,” Lita replied honestly, her nails brushing Nick’s bicep as she fingered the hem of his shirtsleeve. She hardly knew enough about relationships to speak intelligently on the matter. Her last one had been an absolute dumpster fire and she’d been badly burned. She wasn’t sure what Nick was getting at but she suddenly felt out of her element and strange; as if the solid ground underneath of her shifted along with the tone in Nick’s voice.
“Pete cares about her though, I think he always has,” he paused. “And he’s done a lot of growing up in the last year.” Nick gave Lita a squeeze before he added. “I understand why you’re concerned though.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple, internally he knew he was stalling to avoid not saying what he knew needed to be said.
All different kinds of scenarios raced through his mind, the worst of which was the idea that Lita might pull away from him and leave the minute he said what he knew he needed to say. That was scary and would feel like rejection, but was it fair to either of them to not say it? Nick didn’t want to look back ten years from now and know that Lita was the one who got away.
“I--,” Nick started, the hesitance clear in his voice. “I think I know what it feels like to want to risk everything to see if a relationship would work…” It was vague as hell and felt like a cop out. Nick was testing the waters to see what Lita might say in return, would she take it as a blanket statement or would see see past the vagueness to what he truly meant?
With her head snuggled up against Nick’s chest, it was hard not to hear his heartbeat quicken. Her ears echoed with it and she felt her own heart beat faster in response. She hadn’t expected it so soon; she had thought she had more time.
“Oh,” she said softly, biting her lip. She couldn’t look up at him, she refused to. If she did, he would see her emotions clearly written across her face and she couldn’t take his sweetness now. It would kill her if he was kind. She stiffened in his arms and when she spoke, she made sure her voice was steady.
“So, what’s their name?” Though her voice was even, the question came out cold and quiet. She’d meant for it to sound aloof but even she knew she’d fallen way below the bar. Lita felt unbearably jealous but, more than that, she felt damn sad. When the hell had he even had time to meet someone else? They slept over at each other’s places almost every damn night but somehow, inexplicably, he’d found someone he wanted a relationship with?
She thought Nick had been content, happy even, with their arrangement. Lita had just assumed they continue on like this until...until when? Until he found something he wanted more? Which was now, apparently. It was a weird sensation, one Lita did not like in the least. Lita knew it had only been a matter of time but it made her feel sick to her stomach to think of Nick with anyone else but her.
“Is is someone I know? Or someone new?” She wasn’t particularly good at being understanding or generous, especially when it went against what she wanted but like with Pete and Savannah, Nick deserved to be happy, too.
“I’m not going to, like, key their car or anything,” she explained, sitting up from her lying position against his chest so she could look him in the eye. It hurt, looking at him, more than she thought it would but Lita forced herself to maintain eye contact. She paused thoughtfully and then amended. “I mean, I probably won't.”
Panic, that was the first emotion Nick felt as Lita stiffened in his arms and then shock when she asked who the person’s name was. He knew he had been vague as hell, but a part of him thought Lita would put the pieces together and realize she was the only person he could have fallen for. Hell, when would he have had time to meet, let alone, fall for someone else? No. It was her and if he was being honest, it might have been Lita for far longer than he had realized.
“Oh god,” were the first words that came out as Lita pulled away and Nick found the desire to pull her back to him so overwhelming that he almost did just that. Almost. But didn’t. What if Lita’s pulling away was a sign? “It’s someone you know, but not someone new,” Nick started hesitantly. “And I wouldn’t recommend keying their car, I mean not unless you really want to mark up your jeep.” Shit, that had to be about the least eloquent way he could have told her that it was her all along.
Slowly as if he wanted to be prepared for her to pull away further, Nick reached out for her, his fingers gently wrapping around her hand. “Lita, it’s you,” God, why did he feel so fucking vulnerable right now? “Somewhere along the line of this whole friends with benefits thing I feel for you, like honest to god strong ass “I want no other guy to touch you or have you” feelings.” While his hand was around hers, he didn’t make any attempt to pull her in closer.
“Oh,” Lita repeated, her eyes wide.
If she wanted to be close to him, Nick was leaving that up to her. Maybe the truth, the words he had just spoken, would drive her further away from him, not closer. That thought sent a chill down his spine and for the briefest of moments he wished for a rewind button so that they could go back to how they had been five minutes prior -- back before Nick just had to be honest and upset the whole apple cart.
“Lita,” Nick hated the way his voice sounded pleading as he said her name, but he needed her to say something, anything. Lita, struck dumb by Nick’s words, blinked at him stupidly for a moment before she finally had the presence of mind to respond.
“Nick, I…” She looked down at her hand in his. She didn’t pull away but she didn’t close the distance between them, either.
“I can’t just always say what I feel.” She trailed off, trying to make sense of the strange ebb and flow of her emotions. It was difficult to speak with Nick looking at her like that; Lita wasn’t quite sure what was going to come out when she opened her mouth but, spurned on by the familiar feel of her hand in his, she continued.
“It’s just...it’s not how I operate. I don’t talk about it. But...but then I think about things that have happened with us...things I’ve done. Like, when you were brought into the hospital after the attack on the LBJ Health Center and how fucking freaked out I was that you were hurt. And how the thought of you with anyone else makes me crazy, stupid jealous. And...and how my bed feels too big when you’re not in it.”
Lita gently extricated her hand from Nick’s. She shifted against the bedsheets and, after a moment’s hesitation, threw her leg over his lap and sat astride him. Her arms went over his shoulders and finally met his gaze; she felt rubbed raw by the whole conversation and yet, at the same time, incredibly relieved and very, very pleased. There was a fair amount of panic, of course; Lita’s body hummed with it but strangely, she didn’t feel like running. She was exactly where she wanted to be.
“I’m so fucking bad at relationships,” she said, because it was true. Even though the idea scared the absolute shit out of her, she wanted to make her point clear. “But you are the only person I ever wanted bad enough to make the first move...twice!”
An amused, exasperated bark of laughter escaped from her lips before her voice turned softer again. “But as bad as I am at reading signs and stuff, I’d be stupid not to realize that it all adds up... that it means something. Something more than just screwing around.”
She offered Nick a tentative smile and then bit her lip; she hadn’t even scratched the surface of what her feelings for Nick really were and yet it felt like she said too much.
For what was likely only a second, but had felt like an eternity Nick had been nearly positive that this might be the very last time Lita would ever be in his bed. He couldn’t tell if her confession was ramping up towards rejection, or if she was just being wholly transparent with him. And oh god, when she took her hand from his he could have sworn his heart stopped. Yet, there he continued to sit, staring at her, listening, taking it all in. Nick felt like every muscle in his body had frozen the minute her hand had left his and that his ability to move didn’t return until he realized she wasn’t leaving. No, she was straddling him now, her arms over his shoulders and so close it made it easy for him to wrap an arm around her waist.
“It’s not how I work either,” Nick admitted on a laugh. “God, I knew something was different ages ago,” he started hesitantly, dark eyes searched hers as he spoke, looking for any sign that might indicate he had pushed her too far. None came though, so Nick continued. “I didn’t want to fuck this up, because I couldn’t bear the idea of not having you, and well, I’m shit at relationships too.” His last serious relationship had been in high school, and even that one had ended poorly.
Lita knew better than to taint the conversation by mentioning her last relationship. Still, knowing that Nick was just as clueless as she was didn’t make her feel all that nervous. In fact, it was sort of a comfort. That and the idea that even though they were so very, very different, they had somehow held themselves back from this moment for the exact same reason.
“I think I felt like I was protecting myself...protecting this,” Lita said, putting a hand to Nick’s chest. “Protecting us by standing firm on the ‘just friends’ thing. Because if...if it ended,” Lita said quickly, like she didn’t want to jinx it. “Then we would be exes, and not friends. And I would fucking hate that.” Lita paused. It took a lot out of her to be this real. Her natural inclination was to pull back, shrink away, make like she was above everything and untouched by it all but somehow, armed only with his generous nature, kind personality, and goofy sense of humor, Nick had somehow gotten past her defenses. It was if he had slowly removed the armor she wore over her heart without either of them realizing. She felt naked and vulnerable without it, and yet, somehow safe and so much lighter.
Nick brought his free hand up to cradle Lita’s cheek, a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. “I can’t blame you for wanting to protect this,” he started, dark eyes fixed on hers. “Because I think I was doing the exact same thing, having you, even if it was under the guise of ‘just friends’ was better than losing you completely, or at least that’s what I told myself.” Nick took another pause before continuing. “Living like that, continuing this like that, it’s not fair to either of us, though. We’ve been doing something more than just screwing around or scratching an itch for each other for awhile now, haven’t we?” Lita returned Nick’s smile with an embarrassed grin of her own and, after a moment, nodded. The cards were on the table, or the writing was on the wall. He had dropped everything to look after her after her injuries and had spent more than one night thanking whatever deity would listen for sparing Lita’s life in the fucked up mess that had been September.
They had crossed the line of friends with benefits ages ago.
“You’re it,” Nick started, knowing he wasn’t being nearly as eloquent as he felt like he should be. His feelings ran so deep he wasn’t positive he would ever be able to accurately convey just what his feelings for her were. But he would try. Lita deserved that. “This,” he brought his hand down from her face to wave it between them. “Us, it’s what I want.” Nick couldn’t say he knew just how to not fuck up a relationship. But if anyone was worth him getting his act together and figuring that shit out, it was Lita.
Leaning forward, Nick pressed his forehead against Lita’s. His emotions felt raw and this was the most vulnerable he had felt in ages. “For the record my bed feels too big without you in it also.” he murmured, a smile clear in his tone.
“And not just because I like to sprawl out and hog the covers?” Lita drew Nick closer, her fingers sneaking past the collar of his shirt to scratch his back lightly. “Because that is never going to change. Like, ever.”
Nick chuckled. “Well, I mean, your sprawling and cover stealing ways might be a couple of the reasons,” he teased before a made a low noise in response to her nails running along his back. “Good, I wouldn’t want it to change,” Nick ducked his head then to kiss gently at the spot where her neck met her shoulder. “I want you just as you are.” He lifted his gaze back to Lita’s as he spoke, sincerity and honesty written in every line of his face.
“You know we’re going to have to field, like, a million ‘I told you so’s’,” Lita warned, her voice on the edge of laughter. She appraised Nick for a moment before her expression changed; her soft and tender smile shifted into a familiar sort of smirk. She tightened her thighs around Nick’s hips and was gratified at his immediate response. She reached up and removed his glasses and set them on his bedside table. Anxious to get her hands back on him, Lita’s arms went back over his shoulders so she could press her chest against his. Her fingers found their way into his hair and tugged lightly at the roots.
“Probably more like a trillion,” Nick replied with amusement clear in his voice. “Every last one will be worth it though, if only because I get the satisfaction of having you like this, straddling my lap, wearing my shirt, and completely mine,” he paused to flash a smug grin as he ran his hand down her back to cup the swell of her ass. “So. Damn. Worth it.”
Nick groaned low in his throat as Lita tugged at his hair, and his free hand slipped under the hem of the shirt she was wearing to glide over the curve of her hip, along her waist and then to the swell of her breast, he leaned back to put just enough space between them to swipe a thumb over her nipple before rolling it gently between his index and thumb.
“So, since we’re being so open and honest,” Lita said, her voice honeyed and low as she leaned into Nick’s touch. “I’d be curious to know where you stand on the whole fucking on the first date thing.” She paused, reconsidered, and then spoke again. “Or rather, before the first date. Because I am very much in favor of it.”
His answer doesn't come in the form of words, but in one fluid motion. Nick flipped them with ease, swapping their position so Lita was now laid out on the bed, and with one knee Nick urged her legs apart so he could settle between them. “Does this answer your question?” Nick asked, low and gruff. “Or do you need to hear me say I want to fuck you right here, right now, before our first date happens?” There was a heat and lust in his gaze as he peered down at her. “Because unless you had others plans, that's kind of exactly what I plan to do.”
“You know I like it when you talk a little dirty,” Lita purred, arching against him so she could feel delicious weight of his body on top of her. “But seeing as you already said it and I know you’re up for it,” Lita sighed as she angled her hips to feel him press against the hungry ache between her thighs. “I have everything I need right here.” Lita’s arms tightened around Nick’s shoulders, drew his mouth down to hers and kissed him. She thought it might feel different now, knowing this wasn’t just some fling, but it wasn’t. It was the same and yet somehow more. Everything was hotter, deeper, and better knowing he cared for her. Lita kissed him with all the tender affection she’d been denying all these months without sacrificing any of the fiery want she felt for his touch. No one else could make Nick feel this way and no one else would and she knew deep down it was the same for her about him.
“Good,” Nick answered as he broke from the kiss, voice low and tinged with the obvious notes of desire he felt. “If that changes just let me know and I can shout it from the rooftops if you want,” he added teasingly, smirk dancing at the corners of his mouth before he closed the distance between them to reclaim Lita’s mouth. All the anxiety from earlier had dissipated the moment he knew she was just as willing to try this as he was. Nick didn’t want to try this though, if anything he was going to work like hell to make this thing last, because the idea of Lita not in his life was just too unbearable to him.
As he kissed her then, Nick felt like the whole world had shifted, changed somehow. This wasn’t just some casual thing anymore. They weren’t just friends scratching an itch for the other. Crossing that line, admitting he was invested and had feelings in the game here, it changed all of this. Changed it in a way Nick wasn’t even fully aware he wanted so much until he had had Lita in his arms and she hadn’t walked right out the front door after his admission.
Nick still didn’t know if he was any better at relationships than he had been before, but he knew he had to try to be. For Lita.