Mina Kulseth (sagacious) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2016-11-27 19:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2019 [11] november, mina kulseth, violet holladay |
Who: Mina Kulseth & Violet Holladay
Where: Mina's house
What: Talking about their very different views of the Hellhounds.
When: November 9th, 10am
Texting with her dad this morning had helped Mina slightly in reminding herself to keep an open mind and at least hear Violet’s side of the story, but a nervous ball of energy still sat in the pit of her stomach as she waited for Violet to arrive. She was also on her third cup of coffee, so that probably wasn’t helping much either. Finally the doorbell rang and after shutting her laptop (it wasn’t like she was getting all that much work done from home, anyway), Mina moved to the front door and pulled it open. “Hi, thanks for coming over,” she said, moving back a step to allow Violet to come inside. “I have coffee in the kitchen if you want some.” Violet was nervous, because the goodbye they'd had at Thanksgiving had been… not good. It had left her with a lot of questions that she hadn't been able to find answers to because Mina had left. The rest of her Thanksgiving had been spent up in her head, trying to figure out what was going on as best she could which wasn't very well at all. But Mina had agreed to meet to talk, and that was good. “Hi,” she replied, stepping inside and absently tucking her hair behind her ears, offering Mina a soft smile. “Coffee sounds good, thanks.” Back in the kitchen, Mina pulled a mug down for Violet and poured coffee before handing it to the other woman. This was awkward just standing around in the kitchen though, so after a moment, she said, “Come on, let’s go sit on the couch.” Crossing her legs and cradling her coffee, Mina looked down at the dark liquid, not quite able to make eye contact as she said, “So… I hope you had a nice rest of your Thanksgiving. Cherry came with me to my dad’s and there was so much food. I’ll be eating leftovers all weekend.” Coffee in hand, Violet walked with her to the couch and sat, nipping at the inside of her lip as she tried not to feel even more nervous. “It was alright,” she said, both hands around her mug as she took warmth from it. “I made the mashed potatoes my dad always did, which was a nice taste of home.” Never mind the fact that she'd spent the rest of the day in her head about what Mina had said. “You had a nice time at your dad’s though?” “Yeah, it was nice. My stepmom is the cook of the family and everything was really great. My dad doing the cooking is actually a bit frightening,” she said, an uncomfortable laugh escaping. “But I’m glad you were able to have something that reminded you of home. You must miss it. I know when I first moved to Michigan for college, being so far away from home was a big shock.” It wasn’t lost on Mina that this was idle smalltalk to fill the time and to avoid the real tension between them, but she was content to avoid confrontation for now. “It's weird, being down here,” Violet said honestly. “I miss Chicago, but… I’d needed to move. It was too hard to be there after--” She broke off, drawing in a breath to steady herself. “After my dad died.” Taking a sip of her coffee, Violet let the warm liquid soothe her. “It’ll be weird not to have a cold winter, but I won't be sad about that. I hate being cold.” Mina gave a quiet noise of recognition, not wanting Violet to feel like she wasn’t listening. But she debated a moment with herself before saying, “We moved to Las Vegas after my mom died. I was young still so I didn’t exactly understand, but now that I’m grown up I know it was because my dad didn’t want to be where they’d had a life together and… where she died.” This wasn’t the conversation they were meant to be having, but it was happening and Mina found herself not wanting to stop it. As morbid and strange as it was, and as much as she hated that she’d walked into a Hellhound Thanksgiving yesterday and seen Violet there, it was nice to talk to someone who understood. “I’m so sorry,” Violet said softly, a genuinely sad look in her eyes as she turned her gaze from her coffee to Mina. “It's never easy no matter how young or old you are.” She reached over, gently resting her hand over Mina’s. “I lost my mom when I was young too.” They hadn't moved then, but it had been hard. She remembered more of what she saw happen to her dad than how she'd reacted to it. Grief was never easy to experience or watch. “Sometimes you just have to get away from a place so full of memories and feelings - your dad moving you to Vegas, us moving here.” Violet’s hand rested on top of Mina’s for a few moments before she adjusted and turned her hand the other way so her fingers could lace with Violet’s. “Yeah,” she agreed, looking at their hands together rather than at the other woman’s face as she continued. “I hope the move has been good for you. Seems like you’ve found people to fall in with. Having support is important.” Never mind the fact that the Hellhounds were former murderers and drug dealers. It felt like a loaded comment, considering the whole reason Violet was there. She let her thumb rub lightly against Mina’s hand as she mulled over what to say. “It has been,” she started carefully. “I have Ryan, and anywhere can feel like home if we stick together. We got to start our own restaurant, which was a long time dream.” Pausing to nip at the inside of her lip, nerves twisting up harder in her stomach, Violet continued softly. “I didn't know, Mina. I still don't, really. The first day we had our truck they came and they ate and I figured if they were our neighbors we should be friendly even if they were big and scary… but I try not to judge a book by its cover anyway.” She drew in a breath, gaze flickering up to Mina’s face. “I only knew them as that - our neighbors. I got jumped by some of the ones that broke off, but that's the only time it got bad. But I know we only got here in June, and I know things happened before - even if I don't know details, and I'm not trying to dismiss any of that I just don't know it.” Mina sighed. She couldn’t fault Violet for not knowing. By the time she’d come to town, the Hellhounds were already trying to turn over a new leaf. Besides the ones that had gone rogue and terrorized the city, they’d actually been successful. Perhaps that was the part that frustrated her the most -- that they had the ability to be this kind and contributing members of society but had chosen for so long to only spread hate and fear. Sighing again, Mina said, “They did a lot of bad stuff. I--the issue is more complex than I probably understand but the mayor who used to run this city basically waged war against them and we all got caught in the crossfires of that. They killed people I knew. They sold drugs in this city and a lot of people died from that too. It’s hard for me to look past all the blood they have on their hands. Even if they’re… different now.” Violet’s thumb continued the circuit it was tracing on Mina’s hand as she spoke, taking in everything she said because she didn't know a lot of the history of the city and their neighbors. She'd gone back and watched the interviews that had been posted on the freenet, the ones that seemed like they might give insight, but she knew she couldn't know what it was like to live through any of it. “I can understand that,” she said after a moment. “That’s a lot to try and look past.” To her, it was a lot to try and take in when she only knew these people as the ones she looked to first in times of need. “I’m sorry for everything you were put through - from them, from the mayor who kept you guys so… messed up.” “I know it’s not your fault that you didn’t know and it would be unfair for me to hold it against you but--” Mina looked around the kitchen, trying to focus on anything but Violet and the hypocrisy that she knew was there. How could Cherry be her best friend when she’d lived with the Hellhounds when they were doing all that bad stuff? Mina just wished there were an easier way to reconcile her feelings towards all these people who lived adjacent to criminals. Squeezing her eyes so she could just push the thought out, she blurted, “How can I associate with people who condone that? How can I trust that you’re a good person if you think they’re good people?” Violet felt a jolt inside her, and she didn't know what to say. Somehow they'd gone from Mina saying it would be unfair to hold it against her and then two seconds later seeming to do just that. It felt a bit like cold water had been dumped over her, and there she sat expected to explain herself to someone who wasn't even looking at her - who couldn't seem to. “That's what trust is,” she said slowly. “I believe what people show me, and what I knew until today is that they were the people who helped when I needed it. When I got my collarbone broken and Ryan was in quarantine, they were the people who made sure I wasn't alone and scared. That doesn't mean I agree with everything they've done. That doesn't mean I won't look at them different now I know.” Violet bit the inside of her lip, trying to force down the way her everything felt like it was twisting up. “If that makes me a bad person, I don't know what to tell you.” “I don’t know what to do, okay? It’s nice that they were able to be kind to you and help you when you needed it but these are the same people that put my dad’s life at risk on a daily basis and created a whole group of drug addicts and--and there was a horror story about how they founded the place they call the Dog Park by shooting a police officer and scattering his blood,” her voice growing frantic, imagining how that could have been her dad used for some messed up blood sacrifice. Violet fought the urge to move closer, to try and soothe her, because it didn’t seem like something Mina would have reacted well to in that moment. “It seems like things have been better since their old leader skipped town, but these are still the same people who went along with what he wanted. It doesn’t make me sleep any better at night because I’ve seen what they can do. These people are dangerous and you could get hurt.” The rush of words left Mina’s mouth before she really knew what was happening. Hands pulled back, she ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it away from her face with a sigh. “What am I supposed to do about this?” Violet sat silent, because she didn’t have any answers to that. She wasn’t sure if anyone did. Mina had clearly been through a lot because of the people that Violet felt closest to out of all of Austin, and now knowing what they’d done in the past she was viewing them in a slightly different light. They’d clearly turned over a new leaf, which didn’t undo what they’d done but also didn’t mean their good deeds of the present should be passed over simply because of who they used to be. It was difficult to try and marry the two sides of them in her head, knowing them as she did and being told all these other things by Mina. “I don’t know, Mina,” she said honestly, pulling her hand back from where it had been abandoned. “I don’t know what to do, either.” She hesitated, looking down at her hands for a moment before looking back across to her. “Do… you want me to leave?” “I don’t know,” Mina said quietly, looking down at the table. She seemed to be saying that a lot today and she really hated this. But she supposed if things were going to implode between her and Violet, maybe it was for the best that it was happening now before Mina really started to like her. Even still, she already felt like she was losing something. After another moment of silence, Mina added, “It doesn’t seem like this is a situation with an easy fix. Maybe we both need some time to think?” In that particular instance, an ‘I don't know’ felt an awful lot like a ‘Yes’ and Violet felt like she should go. Really, anything other than being told to stay was enough for her to feel that way. It felt a fair bit like things were crumbling fast, and she should get out before it all collapsed on top of her. But she sat waiting, hoping that at the end of the quiet there would be something said to help her feel less uneasy. Of course, that was wishful thinking. “Right.” Violet drew in a breath and exhaled slowly, trying not to take it for more than it was. “Time to think, sure.” She wasn't sure what time could give them when clearly there was a strong divide. “I can… I’ll go.” Pushing up from the couch, she rose to her feet and glanced over to Mina. “Sorry, about...everything.” “Me too,” Mina said quietly, glancing up at Violet. She wished that things were different and maybe some time to think about this would help clear her head, but for now, Mina wasn’t sure what else could be said. “I’ll… talk to you later then,” she added, though the ‘when’ of it all was very up in the air. “Right, talk to you later,” Violet repeated, managing a flicker of a tight smile in Mina’s direction before heading for the door, leaving behind a barely touched cup of coffee and any sense of feeling the least bit like things were working out. All she could do was head back for the Greenbelt and try overthink everything and everyone she was driving toward. |