Mina Kulseth (sagacious) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2016-10-06 21:24:00 |
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September seemed to have creeped into October slowly; Joel knew that it was just in his head, time slowing down, but he thought it also had a lot to do with Mina and her predicament. He had called her a few times, even got her on the phone for a couple minutes the day before, but it seemed like she really didn’t want to talk. It was starting to worry him. Maybe he should have left it at the call yesterday and left her alone, but he was a father, and the last thing he wanted to do was ignore anything. The department was bustling, as usual, so he closed the door to his office to avoid any interruptions and hit call on Mina’s number. He listened to it ring, half expecting that he’d end up talking to her voicemail. The sound seemed to reverberate around in his office while he waited, and ignored the pit of nerves that had started to congregate in his stomach. What if something was seriously wrong? There wasn't a lot of time to ponder that thought, though, since Joel heard the call pick up on the other end. “Hey, baby girl,” Joel said, grateful that years of training kept any concern from his tone. Mina’s throat felt swollen and dry and when she opened her mouth to speak, only a squeak came out. Pausing a moment to clear her throat, that quickly escalated into a cough. Grabbing her water and draining the glass, she finally tamed the cough but could feel tears welling in her eyes. This is exactly why she hadn’t been answering the phone. She didn’t want him to know she was sick like this. She didn’t want him to worry and have to witness her becoming less human, if that’s what these symptoms really meant. Voice scratchy and now thick with emotion, she finally said, “Hi dad.” Something inside Joel’s chest twisted at the sound of Mina’s voice. She didn't sound like herself, and all he wanted in that instant was to be able to wrap her up and protect her. “We miss you, Min. Are they treating you okay? How's the food?” he asked, instead of some fourth degree on why she sounded the way she did. He could work up to that. “I miss you too,” she replied, continuing, “The nurses are nice and the food’s fine.” Not that she’d been all that hungry the past couple days. With her throat hurting and her head feeling like it was stuffed with cotton balls, her appetite hadn’t been all that healthy. Nothing about her felt healthy anymore. “I just finished reading The Martian,” she offered, hoping to keep the conversation light. “That the one where he gets stuck on Mars?” Joel asked, content to let her guide their talk. He was just happy that she hadn't hung up yet, that she answered at all. “How was it?” Maybe in a few minutes he'd ask how she was and quell his parental fears. “Yeah, they made a movie out of it. The one with Matt Damon? I never saw it, but I heard it was good so that's why I read the book. Which was also good. Very intense. You'd probably like it,” Mina said, then gulped more water to try and stop her throat from becoming more irritated. This was more talking than she was used to in the past several days. “I might borrow it from you once you’re out.” In truth, he didn’t have a lot of free time for reading, but he always liked Mina’s recommendations. He hoped he was only imagining the way her voice sounded worse the more she spoke, but then he’d never had that kind of overactive, hypochondrial attitude so it was more than likely not his imagination that conjured it up. “How are you doing, Min?” The earlier promise he’d made to himself to leave it alone until further into the conversation went right out the window. “I really don’t want to think something is up, but you’ve been dodging my calls like a pro lately.” “I’m fine. I’ve just been trying to sleep a lot lately. Studies have proven that more sleep leads to a stronger immune system. Guess we have bad timing but I’m here on the line now,” Mina said, though she’d never been very good at lying. Her dad would see right through her. “You want to try that again?” Joel asked her. Those were words that he hadn’t had to phrase that way since Mina was little. But he knew his daughter, and knew that he wasn’t getting the whole truth, which was all he wanted. “Min, whatever you’re not telling me, I don’t want you to think you can’t.” He gentled his tone, because he knew that she wouldn’t have told him something false just for the hell of it. “Dad--” Mina’s voice cracked, her emotions breaking their way through despite her best efforts at holding them back. She didn’t want to worry him and she didn’t want to make a big deal out of this in case it turned out to be nothing, but at the same time, what if this was the end? Didn’t he have the right to prepare himself? Would it hurt more if her death was sudden or would it be worse to wait for something horrible? Sniffling and reaching up to find tears welling in her eyes, she said, “I’m sick. The doctors, they don’t--” pausing and sniffling again, not sure if it was from the crying or her aforementioned sickness, “They’re not sure what it means.” “Baby girl,” Joel murmured, at a loss for what else to say for a minute. It felt like his stomach had dropped out of his body; since they’d been born he’d only ever wanted to protect his girls from things, and when he couldn’t do that, comfort them. But he couldn’t. There were no exceptions to quarantine. He couldn’t pull the parent card and ask to see Mina just so he could hug her close. “I wish I could see you.” He really tried to keep his voice even, but it wobbled right near the end of the sentence. “But if the docs haven’t diagnosed you that could be a good sign. There’s a typical progression they see in patients that have been bitten.” Stating facts wasn’t comforting, he knew that, but he had to do something to help Mina’s state of mind. If she’d been carrying being sick around for days it’s no wonder why she hadn’t called. “I don’t want you to see me like this. What if they’re not telling me anything because it’s really bad?” Her voice broke and she could feel the tears starting to escape. “This isn’t how you should remember me, dad.” Joel has to take a deep breath to steady himself and the hundred different directions his thoughts had moved in. “They’d call us,” he told her, even if he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t cancer, it usually took someone without even a little warning, but he had to believe he wasn’t going to lose his little girl. “I won’t have to remember you, because you’re fine, baby. You’ll be fine.” His voice hitched again, like his heart had climbed into his throat. “We’ll have a big family dinner when your quarantine is over. You can invite Cherry and your other friends. We’ll make it a celebration.” Maybe if he started talking about after she’d get her mind away from more pessimistic outcomes. It was hard to imagine making it out of this alive when she felt so terrible right now. The isolation and illness was really getting inside Mina’s head, making it hard for her to think rationally. The fact that she couldn’t even muster up a response that would tell her dad that she agreed and that this was all nothing to worry about really spoke volumes. Instead all she said was: “Dad, I’m scared.” Joel was a man of action. He felt helpless and angry with his hands tied. There was nothing he could do to make Mina’s stay any easier, to make her fears go away. It would have been a nightmare moment for any parent, but it felt worse with the real possibility that he was wrong and she wasn’t going to be okay. “I know you are, baby girl,” he replied. Maybe if he’d ever been a good Catholic like his ma he’d know the kind of prayers, but he’d never believed in that really and didn’t think it’d make a difference now. “I am too.” His girls had always been smarter than platitudes. “Maybe I can talk to the doctors, see if they’ll tell me anything they aren’t telling you.” Mina sniffled and wiped at her tears, trying to get them under control. Already she was feeling even more horrible and guilty for having this moment of weakness and worrying her dad. Usually she was the strong and reasonable one. When Ahna was inclined for dramatics, Mina held steady for her dad. He never really had to worry about her, and it was a purposeful thing, because he had more pressing things to worry about. Only this time she was disrupting the balance in their relationship and it felt all wrong. “Yeah, okay dad,” Mina agreed, no fight left in her to tell him it probably wouldn’t do much good. Mina sounded defeated, which made Joel feel worse. He tensed his jaw, scrubbed a hand back through his hair. He hadn’t felt this helpless about something since he’d walked onto the scene of Shannon’s accident. What good was he if he couldn’t protect his loved ones when it really mattered? “I love you, Mina,” he told her, the small hitch back in his voice. He knew if he didn’t hang up soon he wouldn’t be able to keep a handle on the tears that were threatening, and hearing him breakdown wasn’t going to make her feel better. “I’ll call you later, okay?” “Love you too, dad,” Mina said, trying not to sound so pathetic, but not quite managing to sound like her normal and steady self. “Talk to you then, bye.” If there was one silver lining, she managed to hang up the phone before the tears really started falling. |