Peter Kimura Whelan (itakunai) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2016-09-28 21:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2019 [09] september, pete whelan, savannah posey |
Who: Pete Whelan and Savannah Posey
When: 9/10, 1:30AM
Where: Her place and his quarantine room
What: Savannah's not taking the news of Jackson's passing very well. Meanwhile, Pete is trying to learn how to be a better person.
Savannah had been tossing and turning for the better part of two hours but her mind was no closer to being clear and her body was no closer to being tired. Jackson was dead. She’d known him for a long time and knew how important he was to Nathan and now… he was just gone. And the same woman who had gotten him had hurt Pete. What if her zombie bite was extra infectious? What if Pete died next? She couldn’t stop these thoughts from rolling around in her brain and it definitely wasn’t the kind of conversation she could burden her teenage daughter with. What she should have done was call Nathan and see how he was holding up but instead she picked up her phone and scrolled down the contact lists until she tapped on Pete’s name. His voice was the one she really wanted to hear right now. It was late -- well after midnight -- but she needed to talk to Pete. Sitting up in bed and petting Finn with her free hand, she waited as the phone rang five times. He picked it up just as the sixth was ending, pulling the phone from his nightstand and under his ear. Pete was still half asleep, but it hadn't been hard to recognize the caller ID. "'S midnight, I think," he told her, closing his eyes. Despite the worries that were eating him up, made even worse tonight by the news of Jackson's passing, he'd still managed to fall asleep. And he'd woken up as himself, too. Pete hoped that was a good sign, that he'd made it longer so far, maybe he could make it the rest of the way. And then the guilt hit him like a punch to the stomach, even as Pete wondered if it was so wrong to be glad he was still alive. "What's up, Savannah?" he asked, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I--I just wanted to talk to you but you should sleep,” she said, sighing. It had been a dumb idea to call him in the first place. He was trying to fight off a zombie infection and she was calling him in the middle of the night, disrupting his rest. And the fact that he was answering was proof enough that Pete wasn’t reacting the same way as Jackson had, right? So she should let well enough alone and let him sleep. Pete gave a silent yawn into his pillow, shaking his head a bit. It wasn't as though he didn't have all day the next day to catch up on any sleep he was losing just then, assuming he could fall back asleep, and he didn't like the fact that she sounded extra worried. Maybe she had heard about Jackson, too? He knew they were all connected, and that on top of his current quarantine status, Maizie's girlfriend's, and Nathan's new one -- and the fight the siblings were still currently working through -- probably weren't helping, either. "It's all right. I'm already up. What do you want to talk about?" He paused, then added, "Did you hear about what happened today?" Already, Savannah knew what Pete was referring to and immediately felt her throat tighten, the urge to cry back again. She was exhausted from crying about it already, but the shock of it all hadn’t worn off and with Pete and Olivia and Nathan and so many others still in danger, how could she not be worried? “Yeah,” she said after a moment, her voice thick. “Are you feelin’ okay?” Pete took a moment to take stock of his well-being: he was groggy and tired, of course, but his thinking didn't feel like it was slowing down and he didn't have any numbness. "I feel okay," he said slowly, still assessing. Guilty and sad, still, but overall? He was fine. "Still, you know. Regular. I don't know how it's supposed to really feel if… you know. If it happens. But I don't feel anything else but normal so far." Biting her lip, trying so hard not to cry, she let out a quiet noise, acknowledging his words. “Good--that’s good, Pete. I’m glad. I’m sorry again for callin’ you. We really can hang up if you just wanna go back to sleep. I shouldn’t be botherin’ you with any of this anyway since you’re goin’ through hell and back just fine without me addin’ more to your plate.” "No, I mean, I'm up already and you're upset." It was kind of nice, too, that she'd called to make sure he was still him. Reassuring, even, that she did care. "I just don't want to make it worse." “For once, you’re really not makin’ it worse at all,” Savannah said, somehow laughing and crying at the same time now. He couldn't help but smile sadly against the phone screen, recognizing the hitch in her voice for what it was. Pete hated hearing her so upset, and he especially hated knowing there wasn't anything he could do about it, but this was a first step, right? If he was gonna live, he was gonna… Well, he wasn't entirely sure yet. His whole adult life, Pete never could pinpoint how he kept making things worse half the time, but he was going to try and figure out why and put a stop to it. He liked his life and he wanted to keep it, and if God let him do that… Was this what being a born again Christian was like? Maybe it was. Pete didn't know. "I kind of want to do less of that," he offered after a moment, his own voice hoarse after listening to her cry for a couple of minutes. "Be a better person and all. If I don't die." Sniffling and reaching up to wipe under her eyes, Savannah was quiet a moment, letting Pete’s words sink in. If I don’t die. The thought was so unbearable. It was hard to articulate or make sense of what Pete meant to her, especially when he annoyed her more often than not, but she couldn’t stand the idea of losing him. Her voice was uneven from the crying, but she pushed through it to ask: “How do you mean? What do you want to change?” "I don't know." It sounded like a cop out answer, even to him, but it was the truth. "All I know is I kinda piss people off half the time, or more than that, even if I don't mean to. Like at speed dating. I just ended up…. Fighting with all these hot girls instead of scooping their digits, you know?" It'd been said like a joke, kind of, but as he continued to talk his voice sobered a bit. "And like with us… I shouldn't have ever asked if you were pregnant. That was dumb." Feeling tears prickle in her eyes again, Savannah blinked hard, trying to will them away. “Yeah, it was dumb. But I’m never gonna be pregnant, so next time just call me fat, okay? And I don’t think you not bein’ able to get a woman’s phone number makes you a bad person,” Savannah said. “But if you’re makin’ people mad without meanin’ to, maybe you need to think about what you’re sayin’ and how it might come off to someone. Because you say things to me and I know you’re not tryin’ to make me mad. You just--maybe your filter is busted.” "Yeah. I mean, yeah. That makes a lot of sense." Actually, thinking through his thoughts before saying them aloud seemed pretty idiot proof to Pete, and he couldn't help but wonder why that was apparently so hard for him to grasp. But maybe everyone had their sticking points, just like Pete had a hard time understanding why Savannah was so convinced all of a sudden that she would never have a biological child. Then again, though, maybe it wasn't something she didn't actually want, or maybe she did want to… Pete thought maybe he ought to know that, but at least he had time to figure that out now. "I don't think you're fat, but…. Um, if I do in the future, I will just let you know that I think that. Since you said that was cool." “But maybe you callin’ me fat in the first place is one of those things you need to filter before you say,” she said with a humorless laugh. “Though we’ve been friends long enough that I count on your honesty. With people we don’t know as well, we can’t just say whatever we want, even though it’s hard.” Petting Finn again and doing relatively okay at not crying, she asked, “What did you say at speed datin’ to make the hot girls so mad?” "Shit, I don't even know anymore. It feels like a whole other lifetime ago." He screwed his face up, shifting in his bed slightly as he sought a more comfortable position. "One of them was one of my co-workers, though. Someone who works in the ER. She said she had heard rumors that I was a douchebro so I told her she was rude." At the time, it had seemed pretty terrible, but it was like water under the bridge now. "Both for saying the truth about the rumors and for even bringing them up in the first place." “You might’ve proved her point, sweetheart,” Savannah frowned. “I think she was lookin’ for you to prove her wrong, but sounds like you just got defensive. I know bein’ criticised isn’t easy though. You can’t help what people’ve said about you in the past but when you get out you can change how they think about you, movin’ forward.” "Yeah. That sounds…" It sounded hard, actually, since now that he was bringing his attention back to that night, he couldn't help but feel defensive all over again. But he knew she had a point, and more importantly, it didn't sound like Savannah was crying still. "Yeah. I'll work on it." “If it happens again or you’re confused, you can talk to me about it if you want,” she offered, relieved that he was actually taking her suggestion. "Yeah, sure. And hey," he added after a moment. Maybe he was sleep-deprived and still feeling emotional, but an idea had occurred to him just now. "If you do want a baby, and you weren't saying that because you're satisfied with not having one, I'll have one with you. Either when you turn 35 or when I do, which would happen sooner." It was kind of a joke, testing the waters (so to speak) of how she was holding up, considering everything, but Pete had always imagined himself with a family by this point. She couldn’t help but laugh, not because she thought Pete was making fun of her or not being genuine, but just because it was so Pete. Her life would have been a lot different probably if she’d just said yes to going home with him for Christmas and meeting his family. They’d probably already have kids. It was a thought that was starting to make her sad again, but she pushed that aside to respond. “Yeah? It’s kinda weird but it’s also sweet as hell. I’ll--I’ll think about it.” "Okay. Cool." It was a better reaction than he'd expected, considering everything, but maybe he was starting to learn how to read the room. He paused for a moment, smiling to himself, and asked, "How're you feeling?" “Don’t think I’m gonna be okay until y’all are out, but… I’m a little better. Thanks. For talkin’ to me tonight,” Savannah said, scooting down her bed until she was lying down once more. “Think we should probably try and get some sleep?” "I guess." Pete rubbed a hand over his face and rolled onto his back with a quiet sigh. He wasn't looking forward to being alone with his thoughts again, though. After a moment, he added: "Call me whenever you want, okay?" “Even if it’s the middle of the night?” She teased, smiling a bit. “I will, Pete. Goodnight. Sleep well.” |