Losing people was stressful. Being leader and therefore directly responsible for these peoples lives would be stressful. Life wasn't easy but he couldn't help but feel that he was in the midst of history, a change something that was happening before his very eyes and in so many ways, he loved that part of this experience.
It was a feeling he felt guilty for too.
But that part of him he was slowly drowning with alcohol.
And she wonders why he doesn't just open up.
"I bet there's some oan either side." he thinks, looking over at a few bodies passing the nook in which they were sitting in. "But there's a reason 'at a leader was voted in." and that's the end of it.
"Nae. I prefer ta here ye gab, Vannah." he says, dimples deep as he smiles at her.
"and it's mostly been telepathy." is his playful response. "We mostly just 'hink tae each other."