ring out the bells again Who: Sasha Whittaker and Bea Rodriguez Where: Scherbatsky/Whittaker/Mendelson abode. What: After the chaos of the day Sasha and Bea lean on each other. When: September 6th, 2019 - Evening.
Here comes the rain again Falling from the stars Drenched in my pain again Becoming who we are As my memory rests But never forgets what I lost
Sasha was on a rollercoaster he hadn’t been asked if he wanted to be on. His emotions went from numb, to feeling everything in every fiber of his being, back to a sort of dazed feeling. Each time he closed his eyes he could still see that boy sinking his teeth into Marina, he could still hear the gut wrenching noise he had made in response and the ache in his body that reminded him he hadn’t come away from today’s events unscathed -- though it was nothing compared to what Marina was going through right now. If things got too quiet in the house -- which hadn’t happened much that day -- he could still hear the screaming of the other people in the classroom ring in his ears.
Because of all of this Sasha knew he wasn’t very good company, he was quieter than usual and sought out physical contact as a grounding point. A reminder that he was here, even if this felt like some kind of sick nightmare so close to anniversary of his mom’s death.
Would fate take another person away from him again?
With a shake of his head, Sasha turned an apologetic look on Bea. Bea who had answered his text almost instantly and hadn’t hesitated to come home with him. Who had sat through hanging out with his dad and Max, all three of them barely good company -- though Max had likely been the best.
“Sorry,” he murmured as they slipped down the upstairs hallway quietly, retreating to his room. “I was just remembering….” Sasha trailed off, his voice cracking with emotion as he admitted to slipping back into the memories of today. Memories that wanted to play like a sick slide show in his brain. Memories that brought up a time a year ago when he had retreated like this, hide out and refused to even go to the quarantined area his mom was in.
And this time around that option had been taken away from him entirely. The government wasn’t allowing anyone into the quarantine center who wasn’t there as staff or there because they were being observed.
The afternoon had been rough, but it wasn’t as if Bea could fault Sasha, Max and Vic for their current levels of distress and frustration. So although her presence had been slightly uncomfortable, she’d powered through in order to be there to support Sasha. She couldn't deny that once they were in his bedroom, she felt a wave of relief wash over her. No more cabinets crashing closed or heavy sighs coming from his step-dad…
Moving over towards Sasha, Bea put a hand on his arm and gave him a small smile. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, okay? I know today sucks so… And there’s nothing wrong with with admitting that. I’m here if you want to talk about it or we can play a card game or we can just sit here. We can do whatever you want, but I’m here for you,” she said, hand sliding down to take Sasha’s in her own.
“God, it does suck,” Sasha murmured, fingers laced with Bea's and he gave her hand a squeeze, Bea giving him a squeeze back. “Thanks though, for being here and putting up with us,” he knew it probably hadn’t been the most comfortable experience for her, the Scherbatsky, Whittaker and Mendelson men all is varying states of distress over the day's events. “It’s just...my mom’s anniversary is tomorrow and now Marina’s in quarantine…” Sasha trailed off then, pulling Bea towards the edge of the bed so they could both sit down. He didn’t release her hand though, he needed that connection, that grounding to the here and now so he wouldn’t retreat in on himself. Wouldn’t do what he had done a year ago when he had lost his mom.
He sighed and shifted on the edge of the bed, his thoughts so loud he was sure Bea could hear the cogs in his brain spinning. Sasha didn’t know what he wanted to do, everything felt sort of trivial and whenever he went to talk about it the words seemed to catch in his throat.
After a prolonged silence that was probably barely a minute, but felt like a century to him, Sasha peered down at Bea and quietly asked. “Could I draw you?” Then with laugh, that came out sounding kind of flat, “But not in like a Titanic sort of way.” It wasn’t a secret between either of them that Sasha was attracted to her and still smarting over the fact that every time they could have hooked up something had stopped them. But right now his question was more about getting his mind off of things and drawing had always been a good distraction -- keeping both his mind and hands busy.
Bea couldn’t help the amused look that crossed her face, though felt a twinge of guilt for feeling any sort of happiness when Sasha was so clearly sad. But as his comforter, maybe it was just her job to continue to be as sunshine-y as possible to try and break through all the rain clouds. “I’d totally let you draw me in a Titanic kind of way, but it’s probably not a good idea with your dad sitting downstairs,” she said, suppressing her smile.
Despite himself and his own mood, Sasha let a ghost of a smile flicker across his features before disappearing again. “No, probably not,” he agreed. God, the last thing he needed was to piss his dad off right now, or piss him off more than he already was. “Raincheck?” Sasha could admit it wasn’t even an attempt to get Bea naked, but truthfully more of an artist thing -- it wasn’t often he got the opportunity to sketch a life model and stretch his artist muscles that way.
“Definitely a raincheck,” Bea smiled, before asking, “How should I pose? Do you have a creative vision for this? You’re going to make me look hot, right?”
Sasha looked around the room as he assessed exactly what he wanted to do for this sketch. “Here, move over in front of the window and sort of look out it like you’re lost in thought, maybe?” He dropped his hold on Bea’s hand then to shift his desk chair over towards the window. “And you know you’re already hot, so yeah, I will.” Sasha gathered up his art supplies and then settled back down onto the bed. “It’s not weird for you that I asked if I could do this, is it?” Art had always been his best distraction and he tried to tell himself that Bea wouldn’t have agreed if it was weird, but with his emotions all over the place Sasha just wasn’t a very good judge of things at the moment.
Settled into the place Sasha picked out, she glanced over at him and shook her head. “What? No way. I think it’s pretty cool actually. I’ve seen your sketches before. I know you’re talented. It’s, like, a compliment that you’d want to draw me.”
“An artist knows a good subject when they see one, and you’ve got to be the best,” Sasha replied with a flicker of a smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “So I mean, of course I’d want to draw you.”
Giving him one last smile, she averted her gaze to look out the window, posing as he’d instructed. “Ready when you are.”
“Okay” he answered simply while he flipped open the sketchbook and began dragging the pencil across the paper. Every once in awhile he would look up to make sure he was capturing the image just right. Silence stretched on for minutes while Sasha sketched and for awhile he could push aside all the other thoughts and worries of the day and simply focus on the drag of his pencil across the paper.
Sasha was almost relaxed, almost. Which meant of course something would happen to disrupt that.
A buzzing sounded from Bea’s bag and Sasha looked up, gaze moving over towards the last place he had seen her stuff. “You can check that if you want, I’m just putting the finishing touches on the sketch,” he told her. “And I don’t need you sitting in front of me to do that.” It was just shading left now and Sasha could do that without her in front of him.
“Oh, God, I’m sorry. I should have put it on silent so I wouldn’t mess up your artist concentration and stuff. I can shut it off--” Bea said, hastily getting up from her spot by the window and walking over to her bag. She meant to silence it, turn it off, and focus on being here with Sasha but she had too many missed calls and texts to do that.
She stood there silently, reading in horror as she caught herself up on the news from the past several hours. She felt numb and sick to her stomach at the same time. After what felt like forever but was really probably less than a minute, she said, “Kitty’s been bit. And Liv had her blood all over her so they have her in quarantine too. Oh my God.”
Whatever Sasha would have said to assure Bea that she hadn’t ruined his artistic concentration or anything died on his lips when he heard that her friend had been bit and Olivia was in quarantine as well. “Oh God,” his heart dropped in that moment and his stomach lurched. Even if he didn’t know either woman as well as Bea did, Sasha considered Olivia a friend and knew Kitty well enough to feel badly about her fate also. After a moment’s pause he set aside his sketchbook -- the sketch nearly finished -- and stood, crossing the small space over to were Bea stood.
Wordlessly he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close, wanting to be both a physical and emotional support to her in the same way she had been to him today. “I’m so fucking sorry, Bea.” Sasha knew better than most what it was like to have a loved one in quarantine, to feel helpless, sad and angry about not being able to do a thing about it. There was nothing else that could be said though, because the situation sucked and trying to act as if it didn’t wouldn’t fool either of them.
Bea buried her face in Sasha’s chest as her arms went around his waist, needing the comforts of being close just as much as he did. She could feel tears well in her eyes and began to realize that now she could start to understand what Sasha had been going through all day. It was awful to not know what was going to happen to the people you loved.
Sniffling, Bea took a few steadying breaths before pulling back and leading Sasha back towards his bed. “I hate this,” she said quietly, waiting until Sasha had reclined so she could curl up next to him. “Everyone’s going to be okay though, right?”
Wrapping an arm around Bea as she nestled in close to him, Sasha let silence fall between them for a long moment as he tried to think of something, anything, reassuring he could say. Was everything going to be okay? Sasha didn’t know that and wondered if it would it be cruel to tell Bea it would be?
“I hate this too,” Sasha murmured, “I feel so fucking helpless.” He sighed, knowing that wasn’t what Bea wanted to hear, but he was buying time until he found a way to tell her it was going to be okay, regardless of the outcome of the next ten days. “They’re all tough women, so if anyone’s going to be okay it’ll be them.” It was weird to be the person trying to be positive when he had been relying on Bea to do that for him for the majority of that day.
“Do you, ah, want to go be with Maizie?” Sasha could only imagine what their friend was feeling right now. As much as he didn’t want Bea to leave, he couldn’t selfishly keep her here in good conscious if Maizie needed her.
As much as Bea never wanted to leave the safe space of Sasha’s arms, she was worried about her friends and about anyone else who could have been hurt today. “I think I should go to the hospital, actually. Um, I had another message from my boss. Do you remember Pete? He got bit, too. Who knows who else got hurt and they’re probably short staffed.”
Listening silently, Sasha just nodded when Bea asked if he remembered Pete. A whole list of arguments sat unsaid as to why she should stay -- all of them selfish as fuck, and even if he felt like half his world was crumbling around him, people at the hospital need Bea more than he did in that moment.
Reluctantly, she pulled away from Sasha and sat up. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to ask your dad if he’ll give me a ride.”
The conversation with Vic didn’t last long… because he gave her an answer she didn’t want to hear. Logically she knew it made sense to stay inside and stay safe, what with all the zombies roaming the city, especially after today’s attacks. But still, she was anxious and upset when she returned to Sasha’s bedroom.
“He says it’s too dangerous to go and that I have to stay the night,” she said, laying back down on the bed and burying her face in the crook of his arm. She felt more helpless than ever.
Sasha was not even a little surprised by the answer his dad gave Bea, he also knew that there wasn’t a chance in hell that Vic would budge on it. “I’m sorry,” he murmured as she buried her face into his arm. “We’ll both get through this,” Sasah continued as he shifted Bea so that he could wrap both arms around her and pull her close. “I promise.” He punctuated this with a gentle kiss to her temple, arms still tightly around her.
While he couldn’t promise that the people they cared about would be okay, or that the hospital would survive a day without Bea there to assist with things, he could promise that in that moment they would get through the night and then face tomorrow and hopefully make it through that day as well.