Much as Bishop wanted to hear that the sort of ache inside of him, the telltale tinge like a phantom limb or something -- reminding him that he was missing something, or someone in his life -- would one day just clear up. What Vic was saying made more sense. Hell, on some level he had dealt with this once before when he and Willa had parted ways. Losing Teagan was different though, it held more mystery and that lingering feeling that maybe she was out there someone.
But if she was, Bishop had to believe she would have come home by now. If not for him, than for their boys.
“Fuck, you know stepping into the role of President offered a way to ignore this for awhile,” Bishop confessed, knowing he had used it as a way to compartmentalize and shove his personal feelings to the back burner. “That shit was fucking easier to deal with than trying to sort out my feelings,” he paused. “It was just talking with the women at the bar, and yet I ain't sure if it’ll look like I’m moving on too soon…” Or if people might view him as heartless for pushing past his loss already.
Bishop met Vic’s gaze, his expression serious and his blue eyes held a confusion in them that he would have been hard pressed to let anyone but someone he trusted as much as Vic to see. “I ain’t ever going to forget her,” he took another pause. “But, I feel her absence less acutely each day,” Bishop had never been a man who dwelled on things, he had always been practical and wallowing in loss had never made sense to him. “Not like she’s fading, just, more like I’ve gotten real used to that emptiness of where she used to be.”
And in those last few words Bishop realized subconsciously he had already begun to allow himself to move on, to feel the loss, but also continue to live.
“How did you know?” There was a beat before Bishop added. “I mean that Marina was that woman you wanted to try something new with?”