I'ma looking for a hand to hold me Who: Nick Choi and Lita Singh Where: The UMCB What: Nick and Lita have some time together after Nick’s run in with the rogues. When: August 5th, 2019 -- Late Evening.
Oh I'm a mountain only you can move me All my stones are shapened by your stream But I'm just a girl ain't never been a savior I'm just a man here waiting for the one id hope you'd be
There was a stillness to the room that Nick hadn’t felt most of that day. Upon his arrival at the hospital everything had been kind of a blur, Lita stitched him up and then proceeded to do what she could for his broken ribs and his injured right knee. Somewhere in the middle of the day it seemed he was patched up, though not cleared to the leave the hospital. A string of words had been rattled off, something about possible concussions and how he needed to stay overnight for observation. Nick’s reply to that, if he was remembering it correctly had been something along the lines of “only if I can stay with you,” to Lita.
And considering he was laying in a familiar bed, in a familiar room, instead of in a hospital room. Nick was assuming he must have gotten his way. Shifting minutely, the movement sending a shockwave of pain through his whole body, he groaned. “Shit,” the word came out as a hiss as he gave up trying to raise himself up onto his elbows.
“Lita?” Nick’s voice felt hoarse and his face felt like it was possibly two sizes larger than it usually was. God, he must look like a mess. “I’m never moving from your bed,” he continued, not even positive she was in the room with him. “You’re going to have to get used to a roommate sooner than you expected.” Nick was rambling by this point and finally looking around enough to catch sight of Lita sitting in a chair beside her own bed.
“Hey.” A smile, one that brought about a wince, pulled up the sides of his mouth as Nick met her gaze. “You should ditch the chair and join me.” Nick added, finally having managed to wiggle himself up into a sitting position despite his ribs protesting the movement.
Lita looked up from her chair. “Hey there, handsome,” she replied, rearranging her tense pout into a rueful smile. She stood from the uncomfortable dinette chair and rolled her head around her shoulders to ease out the stiffness that settled during her bedside vigil. Forgoing Nick’s suggestion, she remained standing, running a hand over his swollen cheek in what she thought was a very clinical expression of interest.
“I should end up in the hospital more if it gets me a greeting like that,” Nick cracked a wider smile, biting back the wince. As she stood he almost thought she was going to join him, but instead she just kind of hovered over him. He would probably blame the pain meds later for it, but Nick leaned his head into her touch and let his eyes slide closed for a moment. Yeah, it was totally the pain meds making him loopy.
“I haven’t kicked you out of bed yet, Nicholas,” Lita answered with a cock of her head. “What makes you think I’d start now?” Even though it had been Nick’s half-lucid suggestion that he hole up at Lita’s place for observation, she wouldn’t have it any other way, though she’d be loathe to admit it. Truthfully, Nick being brought into the hospital in rough shape had unnerved Lita more than she’d anticipated. This translated into her being even more of a tyrant in the exam room than usual, overseeing every aspect of his care with meticulous, bordering on obsessive, precision. The nurse assisting her had thrown up her hands and left the surgeon to her own devices after Lita had barked at her for what she saw as shoddy work on Nick’s IV line; it was just as well. Lita thought that if she did everything on her own and with absolute perfection -- the wrap on his ribs just so, the stitches textbook, his knee set at the exact right angle -- she might regain some semblance of her normally aloof air of confidence and composure.
She did not.
Lita pulled her hand back from Nick’s face and deigned to perch on the very edge of the bed. This was fine. This was normal. There was probably a Venn diagram somewhere illustrating an easy overlap between doctor, friend, and lover she should be able to assume with Nick right now but she was having trouble finding it.
“How are you feeling?” It was a good, legitimate medical query.
Nick opened his eyes again and met her’s. God, was Lita always this beautiful? He wondered before opening his mouth to reply. “In all fairness I haven’t looked like this while laying in your bed either,” he pointed out, frowning as she just barely sat on the edge of the bed. Lita’s shoulders moved in a minute shrug; he wasn’t wrong, exactly. Nick had certainly looked better but that didn’t mean she’d want him anywhere else but here with her. He hurt all over, even still, Nick didn’t like the space that was between them right now -- maybe because it did in fact make him feel more like a patient of hers and less like both her friend and lover. “Truthfully, I’m pretty sure I feel like death,” Nick finally answered. “And actually physically couldn’t get up and walk out of this room if I wanted to.” The tell tale pain in his knee was familiar, it was the same pain that had ended his track career years ago.
“Still, I’m alive and have a smoking hot doctor looking after me, so like, complaining isn’t really something I feel compelled to do.” Nick tried for a sunny expression, though he had to assume the attempt was a bit muddled by the bruises and swelling of his face. “I think I would feel better if you weren’t sitting on the edge of the bed like you’re going to break me if you get any closer, though.” Normally Nick might have been more subtle about things, wording his request differently even, but after the day he had had subtly wasn’t at the top of his list.
Lita rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that crept to her lips. Anyone else would be eager to complain after enduring an ordeal like the one Nick had been through. How could someone be so inherently nice and kind? Lita did more bitching in the first hour of her day than Nick probably did all week. All the man wanted was a little company, which was something Lita was usually quite enthusiastic to provide. Except that the circumstances of sharing a bed with Nick now were decidedly different than usual. Lita’s stared at Nick’s jovial expression (his brightness somehow undiluted despite the swelling) and felt her shield of professionalism slip slightly. Lita stood and eased herself into the bed next to Nick, her body nestling up to his as gingerly as she could.
“There. Happy now?” Lita asked wryly. She was, actually. The bed was infinitely more comfortable than the chair but it was more than that. Laying like this was familiar and normal; it helped ease some of the fear and worry she’d experienced knowing some things didn’t change.
“Exceedingly,” Nick answered with a note of triumph in his words. Biting back a wince, he shifted enough to slip an arm around Lita’s shoulders as she nestled in next to him. Truth be told he was determined not to let his ordeal dampen his mood. It sucked, especially the rehab part of it, but he wasn’t lying when he said he was alive and he should be grateful for that fact.
“I don’t do this for any of my other patients, you know,” Lita said, her fingertips finding the crook of his arm. “This is some VIP treatment of the highest caliber. Keep up the flattery and the quality of care is likely to get even better.”
With a chuckle, Nick studied her. Aware she was trying to keep a note of professionalism here. “You don’t sleep with any of your other patients either, though,” he remarked. “So I’m totally a special case. Although if compliments are all I need to dole out to get special treatment, well, I’ll keep them coming.” Yeah, the painkillers were definitely making him a little more chatty, and dare say cocky than he normally was with Lita.
Nick wasn’t stingy with compliments on a normal basis but the cocktail of drugs Lita had him on must have made him feel extra indulgent and Lita wasn’t about to protest. Lita ran the pad of her thumb over a long scrape on Nick’s arm. It hadn’t been deep enough to need stitches; it hadn’t even needed a bandaid. Still, it was a reminder of how lucky Nick had been to escape with only the injuries he’d sustained. She’d only gotten details about the incident that had been deemed medically relevant at the time of Nick’s admittance but Lita found herself wondering about everything else.
“So...do you want to talk about what happened?”
It was an unspoken agreement between her and Nick that they didn’t really bring up the Hellhounds. Lita told herself it was because her dealings with them were so far in her past and so completely disconnected from the here and now that mentioning them more than in passing seemed unnecessary. Deep down, however, she knew Nick was only being considerate to her feelings; he knew just as well as she did that she still carried residual anger and baggage from her experiences with the club and, more specifically, with their former leader. This strike against the LBJ health center was different. These men, these rogues had hit her where it hurt; they put someone she cared about in danger and she couldn’t ignore that. By broaching the subject to Nick, Lita was, in her way, signalling she was okay with the discussion. He didn’t need to protect her from facing the reality of who these men were and what they did. If Nick wanted to talk about what had happened at the health center, Lita would listen.
Did he want to talk about what happened? Nick made a very pointed effort not to bring up talk of the Hellhounds around Lita. She had a complicated history with them, a past that was this side of painful, which he didn’t always feel needed to necessarily be drudged up. And truth be told, Nick couldn’t help but dislike the fact that at one point in time Lita had been in deep with them, or more accurately with their former leader. He wasn’t the jealous type, it wasn’t in Nick’s nature, but that didn’t mean he liked thinking about Lita’s history there much either. The idiot had hurt her, left her with residual anger and baggage she didn’t need, and thus gave Nick even more reason to dislike the motorcycle club. Still, she was asking him outright if he wanted to talk about the attack on the LBJ Health Center, and he found he didn’t have any reason not to give her the whole truth, all the gory details of how vicious and violent those men could be.
“I don’t remember some of it,” Nick began. “But I can tell you the parts I do remember.” He took a pause then to prepare to pull up the memories from earlier that day. “I was at the center early to get things ready for Liv, I knew there were other people around, but not many. So when I heard voices outside and commotion that wasn’t normal I went to investigate,” Nick stopped there, wincing slightly at the memory. “Probably shouldn’t have done that, because when I walked out the door two of those idiot rogues spotted me, and while I’m not weak, they were built like fucking tanks. The first guy did this to my face,” he motioned with his hand towards the bruising and swelling. “Hit me so hard I lost my balance and hit the ground, after that I remember a couple of swift kicks to my side and one of them must have stepped on my knee. Because once that happened things went black and I’m assuming the explosion happened shortly after…” The details weren’t maybe as detailed as they could have been, but Nick knew that often times after something traumatic your brain glossed over things to protect you.
Lita listened quietly, for once not interrupting to interject her own thoughts and opinions on the ordeal. Lita couldn’t remember all the faces of the people she patched up and put back together the day that the RPG sailed over the walls of the Dog Park and because of this, she harbored a large amount of guilt thinking she may have put back together the very same men that had hurt Nick. There was a sick, gnawing feeling in her gut; shame and anger and sadness all fighting to be at the forefront of her feelings but it was relief that won out. He was safe. He was going to be fine. She could see for herself Nick was all in one piece but she knew she would always carry some culpability for the grip of terror these rogues had on Austin.
Nick studied Lita for a long moment after he was done, trying, and failing to be able to read what might be spinning through her brain in that moment. “Think it goes without saying I’m damn lucky they didn’t kill me,” which was essentially why he wasn’t going to complain, he knew it could have gone so much fucking worse than it had. “I could have done without them fucking with my knee, rehab for that sucked the first time around.”
Lita patted Nick’s arm and then squeezed it gently.
“I’m sorry about the knee,” Lita said softly. “That really sucks.” She wanted to offer her sympathy, to share in his frustration over the crappy situation, without it seeming like it was a pity party. Lita didn’t do sensitivity well; it said as much on her bi-annual work performance review but it wasn’t as if Nick didn’t know that. Still, she tempered her voice into something akin to the sentiment she was aiming for. “But I’m glad you’re okay.”
Lita brushed passed the potentially tender moment quickly, not wanting to linger in the strange, soft space for too long.
From Lita, Nick knew her just voicing her feelings about his knee was slinking into territory she was not comfortable in. She wasn’t heartless, far from it really, but sensitivity was his department, not hers. It was for this reason that he didn’t linger in this space for very long, instead Nick smiled softly as he answered. “It does suck, but I’ve survived a fucked up knee before,” he paused. “And this time it hasn’t killed any Olympic dreams I might have had.” Nick was trying to see the silver lining in a really shitty situation, because that’s what he did. “And you’re just glad I’m okay because I’m awesome in bed.” If asked Nick would have blamed the painkillers for that remark, but in truth he was trying to lighten the mood for Lita’s sake, inch them out of space that felt softer and more vulnerable than they usually inhabited with each other.
Lita laughed, genuinely amused but also grateful for the change in subject.
“Well, I suppose I could go back to the very serious, monogamous relationship I had with my handheld shower massager but you can’t really blame me for preferring the real deal.” Nick’s more uninhabited demeanor wouldn’t last long; the loopiness would fade as Lita tapered down his meds but in the meanwhile she could appreciate the ramped up version of her friend-with-benefits that she hardly got to see. It was slightly adorable.
“Might be considered a cruelty to make you go back to that,” Nick screwed his face up into a serious expression. “Sounds like that relationship just wasn't doing it for you,” another pause. “And anyway, I've heard I’m a hard act to follow.” Said serious expression lasted all of three seconds before Nick was winking at her and wearing a smirk again. In truth they both knew he wasn't nearly as cocky as his words might have implied, that it was very likely he had said all of that to make Lita laugh and lessen the guilt he felt when he thought about the scare he must have given her showing up looking like he had gone ten rounds with a world class boxer.
“At least you have an enthusiastic physical therapy intern to get you back up on your feet again,” she supplied, changing topics. She couldn't help but think about Olivia’s texts to her earlier in the day. Lita paused. “I think you being hurt freaked her out. That, and seeing for herself that the Hellhounds weren’t quite as cool as she once thought really threw her for a loop I think.”
Lita settled back against the pillow, tucking her head in the curve where Nick’s shoulder met his neck, careful not to jostle him too much.
“You’re going to need to do some damage control there,” Lita warned. As much as she was loathe to admit it, she and Olivia shared several characteristics. Lita may not know the full intricacies of the younger woman’s feelings over today’s events but she could make an educated guess. “Reassure her you’re not going anywhere.”
Nick sighed as Olivia was brought up. He was going to need to do a whole hell of a lot of damage control with her. “I know it freaked her out,” said with a certainty of someone who had known Olivia for years. “And you’re not wrong, I’m going to need to do a lot of damage control with her…” Nick trailed off thinking back to the last time he had been laid up with a chunk bitten out of his hip and had been waiting to see if he would go geek or not. “You know when I was bit I promised her I’d never end up in a hospital bed again,” said quietly with a note of guilt and regret in his tone. Nick knew it had been risky to make that promise to Olivia, but for nearly three years he had managed to keep it -- all while venturing out into the city and straight into danger. “Guess I’m just hoping she’ll forgive me for breaking that promise.”
“Why would you go and make a dumb promise like that?” Lita asked incredulously, half-tempted to smack him. Considering his condition, she thought better of it and pulled back slightly to give him her patented disapproving glare instead. “You’re just tempting fate making those kind of vows. At any rate, you know Olivia thinks the sun rises and sets on you. She’ll forgive you, just as long as you don’t make any more promises you have no way of knowing if you can keep or not.”
“Because I foolishly thought I could keep it,” Nick murmured as he caught the look Lita was giving him. She had every right to be looking at him like that, it had been an ill advised promise, made in the hopes of easing Olivia’s concern for him. “I know, for a while we were all the other person had. Think that's why I made the promise and why I hope she forgives me.” He didn't want to assume she would, though he had to admit Lita was probably right. Still, it ate at him, the fact that he was lying here beside Lita in a bed at the UMCB and he was here not because he had simply popped by to see her and possibly relieve some stress, but because there was a chart somewhere with his name and injuries all listed on it.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Nick broke the small moment of silence that had fallen between them. Now he wasn’t sure if he was still talking about Olivia, or if he was trying to convince Lita he wasn’t going anywhere, either. Although Lita hadn’t said it or even eluded to it, the fact that he had woken up with her beside his bed spoke volumes to the kind of scare he must have given her. Lita didn’t sit a vigil over just anyone’s bedside, or at least Nick couldn’t recall a time she had done something like that. “Not if I can help it, anyway.” He added as he turned his head only a little to look at her tucked up against him.
“Now, see that is a reasonable promise,” Lita said, turning her face up to his to meet his eyes with approval. “I can work with that, which is good, because I’m not looking to go back to living like a nun again. I’ll just have to be on top for awhile, is all.”
Lita graced Nick with a wicked grin that softened the longer she looked at him.
“Now kiss me and then try to close your eyes for awhile. Doctor’s orders.”
Now it was Nick’s turn to give an approving look and grin that split his face. “I like this plan to avoid a relapse into nunhood,” a pause. “Is that what it's called?” Nick laugh. “Doesn't matter, I like this plan a lot.” He shifted just a little bit and gave the hand he held a squeeze.
“Doctor’s orders, huh?” Nick leaned in and captured Lita’s mouth with his before she could reply. The kiss was heated and passionate, in some ways every bit an unspoken apology for the scare he gave her today -- even if Lita hadn't admitted to it. “Does keeping you out of the nunnery fall under my hot doctor’s orders also?” He murmured against her lips before he pulled back.
“It may not be written on your prescription bottle or anything but it’s strongly suggested,” Lita tossed back, giving him another peck before pulling back.
“Lay with me a bit?” He asked, dark eyes pleading. Nick didn't wait for a reply from Lita, instead he shifted into a lying position and coerced her to join him as best he could without sending jolts of pain throughout his body. Lita made some grumbling noises that were only slightly undermined by her grin and allowed herself to be positioned in the supine position most comfortable for Nick.
Nick wasn't looking forward to the months of recovery ahead of him. But if it lead to more moments like this, well, he really couldn't complain either.