tj greenling (nounours) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2016-08-07 21:26:00 |
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Babs wasn’t sure what her game plan was. After all, this man was her husband but she’d rejected him. The party on the 4th had been awkward and bittersweet, and now this door issue also promised to be awkward. The home she’d picked out, due to its proximity to her clinic, wasn’t ready to live in. She’d turned it into a fort of sorts: boarded up the first level windows, and basically any door. The intention was to live on the second floor, where the bedroom and bathroom was. She’d eat at work, there was a small kitchen there. But the main issue was that the front door was busted. It needed hinges, and locks. The small southern nurse had gotten the parts, now she just needed a handy man. She also needed help to get the queen mattress she’d scavenged up the stairs, which was the task she was attempting to do single handedly before Teddy showed up. Dressed in jeans and a pink scrub shirt, she’d been pushing it up the stairs bit by bit, huffing and puffing. But at the sound of feet on her step, she was turning around, the mattress sliding several feet back down as she pulled out a small revolver and pointed it at the open door. TJ was kind of looking forward to this a ridiculous amount considering that he was going over to do some work. But it was for Babs, who had asked him, and also admitted he was right about something, and had sort of made a flirty comment. Sort of. He was taking what he could get, alright? Plus he did want to make sure where she was living was safe, and that meant having a door that locked. Zombies weren't the only things in Austin that needed kept out, and feeling safe and secure was important. So he was in a pretty good mood as he walked up to the house, hands slipped into his pockets, but as soon as he walked through the door and looked up he ducked away from the aim of the gun she was holding. “Jesus, Babs, will you stop doing that?” With a huff, Babs put the revolver back into the back of her pants. She hadn’t even taken the safety off, which she’d point out to him if he’d asked. But maybe she’d earned that comment- okay, she’d totally deserved it. Pushing some of her blond hair off of a sweaty brow, she took a few steps down to grab the end of her mattress again. “Are you going to complain, or help me out? I can’t get this mattress up the stairs,” Babs informed him. Her plan had been to stick to the bottom floor. To avoid allowing him upstairs, where she was going to live. Because she knew what anyone would think of it: the bare floor, the lack of furniture. The way she’d boarded the bottom of all the windows, the total lack of personality. It was, at it’s core, basically the same sort of shelter people had been making when there had been no hope. Once the gun was put down, TJ moved toward the stairs, much more at ease without the very real possibility of getting fired at. She was pushing from the bottom, so he skirted past her and the mattress on the stairs, getting to the top of it and grabbing hold. He probably could have gotten it upstairs easily enough on his own, but it was her place and her mattress and besides, they were doing something together. Progress! He pulled it up the stairs, walking backwards up them until they got it to the top where he could pause and glance behind him. “Which room’s this going in?” he asked, because there wasn't much to go on from looking around. Everything was so empty, but she had just gotten it and had been living at her clinic so he hadn't expected much. Just maybe more than this. “This one. By the windows, so I can keep a lookout,” Babs told him, jerking her head up to what might have been a dining nook once, in happier times. Now it was going to be where she laid down at night and woke up at night. It wasn’t a home someone would live in now, even though there were family pictures from someone else’s life on the wall. Babs directed where to go, and then threw a sleeping bag over it. She stood back, hands on her hips as if this was normally. But then she smiled. It looked painful only because Babs was trying to stop herself from laughing a little. “Well. The bed is lower than Maine.” Newly weds. Hours after a long, delayed flight from their wedding location to the small B&B that would be there honeymoon. Babs hadn’t even turned on the light when they got into their pitch dark room, trying to hop onto the bed that had been so high that the small nurse had rammed herself right into the side of the mattress. Every night of her honeymoon, the bed had been something she’d had to literally climb into. “Oh, so you won’t be needing me to give you a boost up into it every night?” TJ asked playfully. Not that he would mind if she did - that stupid bed in Maine had always held some good memories for him, about them. He glanced around the room, taking it in. Sure, she was just moving there but it was still a bit dreary. Not much to speak of beyond the mattress and some worn out decor that had just happened to make it through whatever life the house had had before. “Please tell me you have a pillow, at least. Maybe I can get you a rug for housewarming or something, liven this place up a bit.” “I have a pillow,” Babs said, a little incredulous as she rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. It was her commander position, her ‘I don’t want to be questioned’ stance. But as hard as it was, her mind felt soft and rosy. She couldn’t help but remember what it had been like to be in Maine with the man she’d been so in love with. The easy smiles, the way she’d never wanted to leave bed so long as her husband (her husband! She’d called him that a million times over the course of that week). And yes, the sex. Oh god, sex. She hadn’t had sex since… well. Teddy. Arizona, Gammage, months before the fall out. “What about you? Don’t all of you just sleep in trailers and out under the stars?” “I’m glad you have a pillow,” TJ said in his easy drawl, a smile quirking up the corners of his mouth at the way she was standing. He’d seen her stand that way so many times, and it made him want to slide his arms into the spaces between her elbows and her sides and pull her in against him. But she may well shoot him if he tried, so he didn’t. “I still might get you a rug, though.” He chuckled softly, giving a shake of his head. “Well yeah, in trailers. Not a lot of room but enough for what I need. Not like I got a lot of stuff.” “Minimalist army life,” Babs said, huffing for a moment and then looking down at herself. Oh god- the arms. Yeah, the stance. She tried to pull out of it, to cross her arms instead. Which instead made her think about Teddy’s arms, and how safe they had always felt around her body. She looked towards the stairs again, and then to the door. The lack of door, rather. “Okay- uh. I got a bunch of security things for the door, and I got some tools,” she said, trying not to make it obvious what she’d just been thinking about. He couldn’t read her mind, couldn’t possibly know where it had gone for a moment. A reminder that sex and intimacy was good. And that maybe she’d want it with TJ again. TJ watched her shift, eyebrow quirking up when she started talking about the door. Right, door, the reason she'd asked him over in the first place. He glanced over his shoulder to where it should go and gave a nod, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Yeah sure, go ahead and point me to ‘em,” he replied, stepping back away from the mattress and eyeing the door frame. “I'll do my best to keep you safe.” Keep her safe. Jesus, she needed to be away from him before she did something stupid. Like sleep with her husband, give him hope that something would happen. She pointed down the stairs and then led the way, taking steps two at a time and grabbing the heavy tool box she’d been using as a door stop until he arrived. She’d been the handy one of their marriage. Fixing things, making it all work. But she’d had youtube, her father on speed dial. If she were honest she wanted him to fix her door to trap him for a little while. To talk. Sitting on the steps and watching him get to work she launched in. “So. Uh. You got someone?” His gaze followed where she was pointing, and then the rest of him did the same as they went downstairs to get to the toolbox and door she needed fixed. TJ knew he was better with cars, bikes, tractors - anything mechanic, than doors, construction, anything handy in a house. Stick him in a garage and he could do work, but this wasn’t that. It was just a door, and he felt like he could manage with that, so he looked the door over for a minute before crouching down to pull out some tools. “Got someone?” he repeated, glancing over at her with a raised eyebrow. “In a… someone you’d want to go find and punch in the face type of way? Yeah right, darlin. Not a chance.” Babs rolled her eyes, leaning back against some of the steps and just sighed. “I’m not going to punch anyone. You and I? We aren’t married, not really. If you’re… if you’ve got someone I’d just like a heads up,” Babs said, speaking as bluntly as ever. She wanted to lie, she wanted to claim that she had someone too, that he wasn’t still the only man she’d ever fallen in love with before. That it was Nick, or Nathan, or anyone else. Anyone else. TJ turned his attention fully to the door, his back to Babs as he worked on getting the hinges properly attached and secured. He’d like to pretend her words didn’t hurt, but they did. She had a special talent for saying things that cut through him whether she was aware of it or not. He held up his left hand, thumb tapping against the ever present wedding band on his ring finger. “No one else, don’t worry, no heads up needed.” Why did that make her so happy? That he was still wearing the damn ring, the one she had on around a chain on her neck. Like a talisman that proved that once they’d been together and once it had meant something. Babs chewed the inside of her cheeks, eyes sliding to a close as she wondered how she could go back and figure out how to rephrase that. “Well. No heads up needed either,” she told him, not sure why she’d offered that. Then again, she didn’t have the ring around her finger, in view. “So. The hellhounds. How did that happen?” Well thank God for that. TJ supposed he couldn't get too mad about it if Babs had moved on since she'd thought he was dead and all, but it still would have stung. A lot. He stood up to be able to get to the top hinge on the door, his brow furrowing a little at her question. “Oh… I do better with a group than on my own, you know that,” he started with a shrug, sparing a glance over his shoulder at her. “Already had the bike, seemed like a good lot to throw in with if I wanted to get by. They're some good guys. Some bad ones too, out there fuckin things up for everyone else, but for the most part good.” “Hm, yeah,” Babs said, thinking about her own group. Savannah, Olivia, Maizie, Nathan, Jackson… all of them. They mattered so much to her, and she didn’t even like to admit it at the end of the day. That had been her problem with TJ, hadn’t it? The fact that after their marriage began to became difficult, she’d had a hard time being open and forthcoming with him. She knew it, she knew she was to blame. “Well, glad you found a home.” She got up then, going back upstairs to her own space and trying to find something to do. She checked the boards on the bottom of the windows, she found some pillows and blankets in another room and tossed them onto the bed before boarding that door up as well. When she came back down, she was sweaty and half an hour had passed. “Um. I have water. If you want some.” Left to his own devices, TJ was able to get a good amount of work done to make the door secure. He'd gotten pretty much everything attached that she'd had sitting there, the locks and bolts in place, ready to keep it shut once she was in for the night. The pin on the middle hinge wasn't quite in all the way, which made the door stick and squeak, He’d been hammering it down when she spoke, and hadn't heard her footsteps thanks to the noise it was making, but her voice suddenly so close startled him and he missed the pin, hitting himself square on the thumb instead. A long stream of curses fell from his lips as he rocked back a step away from the door, dropping the hammer as he cradled his hurt hand against his chest. Babs was on him in a second. She pulled his hand away from his chest, looking at the thumb and furrowing her brows. It was swelling, but that was totally normal considering he’d just done damage to his phalange. “I have a first aid kit upstairs,” she informed him, jerking her head up the stairs and leading the way. She put him on the mattress before grabbing her kit and the offered water. The kit had a few medical supplies in it, including basic pain ibuprofen for pain. She wrapped cleaned the thumb, and wrapped it, wishing she had an ice pack. “I don’t think you’ve got a broken bone,” Babs informed him, very close to him as she kneeled next to the mattress and kept holding his hand. Up close and out of a lab coat, it was easier to see the silver chain around her neck, and the outline of a ring under her shirt. TJ let her lead him up the stairs, honestly surprised he didn't trip over his own feet with how his mind only seemed to be processing the throbbing pain in his thumb. He was a good patient, he always was, simply letting her do whatever she needed to do and not interfering, taking the ibuprofen and downing it with a sip of water before letting his head hang with his chin toward his chest, breathing slowly. “Here I thought you might have to amputate,” he mumbled, offering her a weak smile before a jolt of pain took it off his face. “That's one of my favorite thumbs, you know.” His gaze dropped down toward his lap again, but paused when he saw her necklace. He reached up with his un-hurt hand and lightly traced along the chain on her neck with his fingertips. Babs’ mouth went dry when he began to touch her. At first she wasn’t sure what his game one, but she could feel the metal of the necklace touching her skin, and knew he’d spotted it. She slowly pulled her necklace out, the simply gold band hanging there still. She didn’t want to admit how hard she’d tried to get rid of it, how she would have offered it to anyone who wanted a ring at one point. But just throwing it away hadn’t been an option. “Do you… want it back?” she asked, knowing he had every right to make that demand. She watched him, carefully, trying to see what was going through his mind right then. They weren’t married. They weren’t in love, at least Babs was trying to convince herself of that. They were just… in flux. His eyes closed at that, jaw tightening for a second as he tried not to let the question get to him. It already had, the second the words came out, but it wasn't just that. He knew she wasn't on the same page as him, that they hadn't been in a good place before, that she'd thought he was dead - that she'd been the one to kill him. But still. “No,” he replied quietly, giving a shake of his head and bringing his hand back to rub over his face. “I don't want it back.” There was a quiet to a room, and Babs hated it. She hated how he looked at her, how she didn’t know what he wanted at the end of the day. They were trying friendship, she’d extended herself to him. She held his hand and looked at her husband (her not husband?) and how he rubbed his face. He didn’t want it back. “Do you want me back?” she finally asked, finally just saying what had lingered in her mind since the RV in Pickens. What a question. TJ wasn't even sure what to say. They were complicated, they had been for a while, but he thought he'd been clear about where he stood. He'd gone after her, across the country - twice. “Of course I want you back,” he said, just as quiet as before as he let his gaze rise up to meet hers. She knew what this was: this was a moment. This was the first time she’d seen him in the hospital bed when they’d been in the service still. The first time he’d carried her home after too much wine. The first night of their engagement when they’d confessed so many feelings and hopes. Their honeymoon, the last time they’d said ‘I love you’ before kids were brought up and Babs had panicked. She had a choice: to run away, to tell him he couldn’t have her back, or to give in. To give him what he wanted, and what she wanted. But what did she want? Sex, yeah. Affection, a warm body to make her feel a little less lonely. She didn’t want to be Mrs. Greenling all over again, not yet. Instead she looked at him, her blue eyes stormy and unsure before she took his hurt hand and threaded with it her own fingers. “I wish I were as sure as you are, Teddy. I wish that I didn’t… I wish I knew exactly what to say or do. Because…. Jesus. I don’t know what I want. I know I want part of you, the way we were before we got married and everything began to scare me. I can’t be your little wife again. I can’t go back to that.” “I don't know what to do or say either, Babs,” TJ said honestly, giving a squeeze to her hand that was holding his. “I don't think there's a chance it would ever go back to how that was - the world’s changed, there are no white picket fences out there to try and live behind like we were.” He frowned softly, shaking his head. “I don't want you to be my… little wife. I just want…” He sighed, trying to find the words. “When they told me you weren't coming back, that you were gone, I'd never felt anything hurt that bad before. And ever since then I've been trying to get to you, trying to find a way to be in the same place because you're… I want you, I want you in my life, and I know you don't know if you want that but I'm just saying where I am.” It took a while. The sun was setting, making the world red and orange. Babs stood up and went away from TJ, going down the stairs and firmly closing the door. It squeaked, and the locks each clicked into place as she locked the pair of them in for the night. When she came back up, she hovered in the stairwell. “It’s dark. You can’t go out now- you can either sleep here with me, or in one of the old bedrooms,” she informed him, her jaw popping out a little as she clamped down on her teeth. She looked damn near nervous, unsure if Teddy was going to accept the invitation. Babs didn’t know how to say ‘I want you, let’s start this over’ without making it sound hollow. But she also didn’t want to send him away again. Maybe she still loved him, or maybe she wanted to fall again. Did it matter all that much in that moment? She hoped not. TJ sat quietly with his thoughts when she walked away, listening to the locks latch and getting a slight smile from that, since he'd managed to do what he'd came over for in the first place. When she reappeared in the doorway, he glanced over and quirked an eyebrow. He'd expected to be sent away and that was it, but she'd also already shut the door. So maybe her offer shouldn't have been surprising. Maybe it surprised her too, from that look on her face. Slowly getting to his feet, he walked over to where she was standing, tentatively reaching up to tuck a loose bit of hair behind her ear. “Here's good.” Babs didn’t kiss him. She didn’t undress, or pursue sex. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and pressed in, allowing his warmth and familiarity to wash over her. It was comforting the way a beloved blanket was, the way a christmas card from family warmed the heart. When they pulled apart and moved to the mattress, Babs curled up in his arms, and put her head on his shoulder. For the first night in weeks, she slept without the aid of her exhausting illness or gun by her side. |