who: violet holladay & ryan mccormick what: aftermath of vi's run in with BAD HELLHOUNDS where: their house, greenbelt when: 7/3/19, afternoon
Violet felt like she was in a daze. She'd gotten home and put away all the supplies she'd picked up from the Capital before she even realized she'd opened the door of the truck to do so. She'd taken a shower, practically scrubbing her skin raw before noticing how she was wearing down the bar of soap and letting it drop to the floor of the bathtub to keep from starting it again. It felt like she was watching herself through a haze, not in control but just a spectator. Maybe she shouldn't have driven the truck home, feeling like that, but she'd gotten there safely. Eventually.
Clean, done, wearing the most comfortable shirt she owned, she crawled into bed and buried herself under the covers. It didn't matter it was warm out, she wanted the comfort of being wrapped in them. She closed her eyes but wasn't trying to sleep, just wanting the quiet of not having to look at anything. Maybe that wasn't the best idea, because it made it easier to see remembrances of earlier in the day. Violet didn't think the window in front of her would help much to avoid those either. So she laid on her side, back to the door, eyes closed and breath slow as she did her best to keep calm.
Footsteps on the stairs interrupted her attempt at peace and quiet only a few minutes later: Ryan, of course, coming up after he'd been unable to find Violet downstairs, where he'd expected her. He'd been over at the Greenbelt looking at their chicken coops and the in-progress greenhouse with Bunny, and he was eager to tell Violet all about it.
The door was open still so he didn't think twice about moving inside without announcing himself, but once he caught sight of the huddled figure in the bed he wondered if he ought to give her some privacy. It was unusual for Violet to be napping just then, though, or whatever she was doing, and the novelty of it caused him to remain put where he was.
"Vi? Everything okay?"
If it was anyone else she would have said she was fine and told them to go away. Not that she had anyone else. And Ryan was Ryan and she couldn't lie to him - and even if she wanted to it wouldn't matter because it wasn't like he wouldn't find out the truth sooner rather than later. So she spoke, not moving, her voice quiet and a little muffled thanks to the way her face was pressed against her pillow.
“No.”
Ryan swallowed hard, his stomach flipping over as he moved closer to the bed. He didn't like the way she sounded or the way she was refusing to look at him. That wasn't the way they were, the way she was. He sat down on the side of the bed and tentatively reached one hand out for where he guessed her shoulder would be. "You want to tell me what's wrong?"
She really didn't. But there was no way to get around it, so it was best to just rip the bandaid off so to speak, right? Violet swallowed hard as she tried to get the words formed in her head, not even sure where to start. Everything had happened so fast. “They stopped me on my way back. Guys on motorcycles.”
He still couldn't see her face. That worried him the most, her refusal to just look point blank at him, until her words sunk in and he frowned. "Our neighbors? Like Bishop and TJ and those guys? Their gang stopped you, Vi?"
“I don't know,” she whispered. Because that was the thing - the guys they'd met that first day, they'd been nice. Or at least friendly enough that she hadn't felt worried. That was why she'd been so confused when a bunch of guys rode up on her and forced her to stop. “I didn't recognize any of them.”
Ryan took a deep breath, then let it out slowly as he tried to make sense of this. "What happened after that?"
“They took our stuff.”
Violet should have done a better job fighting them off, she thought. But then again, she'd tried her best. She wasn't made for fighting, or anything really when it came to guys that were that much bigger than her. And had weapons. “I couldn't stop them, so they took it.”
"Okay." A weak response, he knew, but Ryan was choosing to focus instead on pushing back the panic that was quickly growing. He needed to be calm, to not seem as though he was blaming Violet for what had happened "That's… I mean, it's okay. We can get around this." They picked up shipments regularly from the Capitol, so while this week would be a loss, there was still hope for the future. Unless -- "You have the truck, still, right?"
“Yeah.” Violet hadn't even thought about that - them taking the truck. They'd only seemed interested in the food and she'd been so focused on not letting them, the possibility of losing the truck hadn't crossed her mind. She was grateful it hadn't come to that. They would be so screwed otherwise. “It's out back.”
"Okay," he said again, squeezing her shoulder through the blanket. That was a relief, at least, some kind of small mercy in the wake of what had happened to her. And Ryan knew it had to be more than just stopping her and taking the food; she wouldn't be like this if that had been it. "Anything else?"
It was hardly the worst thing in the world. They lived in a world with zombies and she felt stupid being upset at something so small in comparison happening to her. It was like that made her unable to say the simple words to explain it, as though her brain wouldn't connect the dots for the easiest explanation. “I tried to stop them.”
"How?" Ryan was trying so hard to be calm, not to push her, but he couldn't help but blurt: "You're making me nervous, Vi, please." He winced almost immediately, once the words were out.
“I don't know, it was stupid,” Violet whispered, bringing her hand up under the blanket and rubbing at the corner of her eye - the one that wasn't bruised and puffy. “I freaked out, I didn't know what to do, so I… tried. It was a blur, I don't even remember what I did, but he… hit… me.”
Ryan clenched his fist on his lap, closing his eyes briefly. Outburst aside, Violet wouldn't want him to freak out about it, not when she was playing it down so much. Or maybe it was the shock? Either way, there was a growing anger inside him, targeted towards the MC who'd been so friendly just a couple of days before.
"It wasn't stupid. I'm proud of you for trying to stop them." His voice was tight with emotion, some weird kind of mix of anxiety and fury that he couldn't fully hide. Guilt, too, as he realized that if he hadn't stayed back to look at the greenhouses with Bunny, she wouldn't have been alone. Maybe he would've been able to fight them off or stop it from happening altogether. "I'm sorry you were alone. I'm so sorry."
“It was stupid,” Violet mumbled, not liking how she could hear his upset in his voice. She had been doing pretty well with not crying, or really having any emotional response, but it was hard with Ryan there, sounding upset and apologizing to her. “It's not your fault, Ry. You didn't do anything.”
No matter what Violet said or how strongly she pushed this point, Ryan knew he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for his absence. Not for a long while, at least. He lay down next to her, one arm going over where he assumed her waist was underneath the blanket, and took a deep breath. "Anything else I need to know?"
Violet shifted back against him when she felt his arm around her, biting her lip to keep from completely bursting into tears. A small one trickled from the corner of her eye down into her pillow. “I don't want to do the truck tomorrow… I don't want people to s-see me….”
"It's okay." They'd been set to make a killing on the holiday, but without their supplies -- Well, ultimately it didn't matter. Ryan's desire for success was second to her comfort, and he didn't think he could feign happy friendliness just now, even without having seen the extent of her injuries himself. "We can wait until you're comfortable."
Shifting slightly, Violet moved the blanket down so she could get her arm out, resting it against his and holding onto his hand. He was there, so she could finally let herself feel everything she'd been blocking out earlier. Fear, anger, failure… all of it. She turned her head a little more into her pillow to keep her tears falling down onto it. His chest felt tight; he hated seeing her cry, but not as much as he hated seeing her attempting to hide it from him. “Jackson stopped them, eventually.”
"Who's Jackson, Vi?" The surprise wasn't tinged with annoyance or anger, though; Ryan was relieved to hear someone had actually intervened. "How'd he find you?”
“I don't know, some guy.” Her fingers flexed around his, tightening and then slowly loosening. “He was passing by and stopped when he saw…” If he hadn't, she didn't know how things might have ended. Violet was trying her best not to let her imagination start filling in blanks.
Ryan leaned his head against hers and took a deep breath, then another, hoping she'd do the same. "I'm glad." Good people did still exist in Austin, apparently. He couldn't help but wonder how their neighbors would have reacted, should they have been the ones who'd stumbled upon Violet today. Another sigh, resentment towards the Greenbelt forming in the pit of his stomach, before he added, "So glad you're okay."