ᴠɪᴋᴛᴏʀ (mobdog) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2016-03-19 23:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2019 [03] march, sasha whittaker, viktor scherbatsky |
Who: Vic Scherbatsky & Sasha Whittaker
Where: Their corner of the Dog Park
When: March 4, 2019
What: Real talk about officially expanding their family!
Today had for the most part been like any other day, Sasha had spent much of it at the tattoo shop with Noa, doing anything and everything she asked him to do. There were rumblings, although he was trying to stay cool about it, about the possibility of him getting his own chair soon and the go-ahead to start tattooing actual people. But Noa hadn’t confirmed or denied this yet, so he was trying to remain chill about it. This attempt not to like spaz out with excitement had lead to Sasha redirecting his attention to texting Bea, which was in fact a whole nother adventure in and of itself. He spent half his time second guessing what he was typing, deleting messages because he worried they might sound too eager, etc. Needless to say his distraction option wasn’t so much a distraction as another thing that was making him spazzy. Which lead to Sasha’s current state of sitting outside in one of the lawn chairs outside the airstream, his cell phone turned over on his knee so he couldn't see the screen and a pen in his hand. Although he lacked paper, so he was busy drawing a design on what little open skin he had on his left arm. Sasha was lost in his thoughts, even so he didn’t miss the way a shadow seemed to loom over him, one that had him lifting his gaze. Of course he knew it was his dad before he even looked up, I mean who else was such a hulking person as to cast a shadow like that? “Hey,” Sasha greeted Vic with an upturn of his mouth. “Guess what, I’m like ninety-nine percent sure Noa might let me tattoo soon,” despite his resolution to act cool about it, Sasha could help the excited tone his voice took. “Although she hasn’t like said anything to me about that yet, so maybe don’t say anything.” Sasha was rambling in true teenager fashion, catching his dad up on the events of the day. When he finally took a breath, he realized that maybe Vic was here for a specific reason. “Umm. Did you need to talk to me or something?” "Yeah, I did." Vic scratched at the back of his head, wishing he knew exactly how to do this. Zhenya had had this conversation with Sasha once, he knew, when it'd been the two of them getting married. His heart ached for the kid just as it had so often over the last year, thinking about the mother and father he'd lost. Why did words always fail him in times like these? He clapped a hand on Sasha's shoulder, hoping the gesture was more reassuring and familiar than intimidating. "That's really exciting, about the tattoos," he added, not wanting to overlook his son's impending success. Sasha was relieved on some level that he had been right in the fact that his father had something to talk to him about. Though, it didn’t in fact ease his mind any when one of Vic’s large hands settled on his shoulder. His mother and Vic were not the same in any way, well, expect their ability to speak Russian. But something about this interaction, something in the seriousness of it reminded of the time his mother had sat down an eight year old him and told him about Vic and her intention to marry him. “It is exciting,” He agreed, quickly adding. “But we can talk about it later. It seems like you’ve got something serious on your mind.” Something that he wanted to know, even if he thought he already knew what it might be about. Vic took a seat at the table they'd once shared with his first wife and took a deep breath. No point in pretending there wasn't something big on his mind, or that he wasn't scared about how Sasha would react. "I wanted to talk to you about me and Marina. We're thinking about… Taking things to the next level, and I wanted to ask your permission about that." Dark eyes followed Vic’s movements, his elbows leaning on the table as his dad sat across from him. “Just to clarify, when you say next level you mean marriage right?” Sasha was fairly certain his dad and Marina had hit that other all important level awhile ago -- he had the mental scarring to prove it, and the idea to soundproof the Airstream to save himself from future therapy bills. Even while he had asked the question a storm of emotions began to bubble up. He had always kind of assumed this day would come and his dad would find someone else, but he couldn’t help the knee jerk reaction he had when it came to picturing someone else where his mom used to be. Logically he knew things had been moving in that direction and he liked Marina, but emotions and feelings were a weird creature sometime. Vic nodded, watching Sasha's reaction carefully. "Yeah, that's what I mean. Or whatever passes for marriage these days, especially 'round here." There'd been a smattering of Dog Park weddings over the last two years, mostly featuring people who figured why wait when you never knew when your last day would be, and the 'ceremonies' were always crazy. "How do you think you'd feel about that?" “Oh,” Sasha doesn’t mean for that to be the first word out of his mouth, nor did he intend for the shocked feeling to seep into his expression. Knowing this day would come and actually experiencing it were two very different things. “I, um,” his mind was a mess and he was struggling on exactly what he wanted to say. Fear was the first emotion he felt. Fear that Vic might forget his mom, or worse, might start a family with kids of his own and where the hell would that leave him? While they rarely commented on it and to be honest to Sasha, Vic was his dad, the truth was he wasn’t blood and Vic had no responsibility to him. None of this was rational in the least, but Sasha was allowing emotions to overwhelm his thoughts. “I mean, I like Marina,” he began, voice quiet. “But, um, are you starting a new family with her?” and forgetting about me and what you had with mom? was the unspoken question that hung in the air. "No. No." Vic leaned forward and reached out to place one of his hands on Sasha's shoulders yet again, pushing away the horror he felt at the very thought and hoping his actions came across as reassuring. "You are my family. You will always be my family. Nothing is ever gonna change that. This stuff happening between me and Marina, it's just gonna be the family that you and I have growing again. But only if you're one-hundred-percent good with it. I mean that, okay?" Sasha wished had hadn’t needed that reassurance. He felt stupid for even questioning his place in his dad’s life, and yet as the words were spoken he felt the fear and panic melt away. He glanced down at the hand on his shoulder, before looking back up and meeting Vic’s gaze. “You’re the only parent I have left,” Sasha admitted quietly. “And I...I really don’t want to lose you.” He faltered on the words and his voice cracked towards the end, revealing the emotions pinging around inside of him. Vic's jaw tightened, pushing back his own emotions for the time being, as his son continued to speak. “So I’m good with our family expanding as long as I still have a place in it,” Sasha still felt kind of silly about even worrying about that, but he wasn’t going to pretend like he hadn’t. “Wait, am I going to have to call Marina mom now?” Another thought struck him when he thought about their family growing and Sasha didn’t wait before he blurted out. “Are you guys planning on having kids?” "No." It was an answer that worked for both of the questions, but Vic began to clarify further: "No, you can call her whatever you want." Sasha had had a mother, after all, and despite the way that Marina and Sasha got along, there was no use pretending the two of them weren't closer in age to one another than Marina and Vic were. He could understand if the kid didn't want to think of her that way, even if he was happy to officially welcome her into their family. "And no," Vic added, pausing slightly as he tried to figure out the best way to phrase things. "We won't be having children together." There was another pause before he added, "It's not a possibility, so I guess we're both stuck with just you. And Max." Skipping straight over any comment about how Marina would probably smack him if he called her ‘mom’, Sasha zeroed in on Vic’s last statement. An eyebrow raised as he asked. “Not a possibility?” The words were asked quietly and almost as if he was going against his very nature, which was to not ask questions he didn’t feel he should. “You, you don’t have to actually answer that,” Sasha rushed out, not wanting Vic to feel as if he was asking him questions he shouldn’t have asked. “I mean, like having kids or not having kids is totally yours and Marina’s business.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and shifted uncomfortably, worried that he might have hit on a sore spot in the upcoming union. “And I think I’ll just stick with Marina, I think it will be the least weird thing to call her.” The teenager added with a faint smirk, using that as another tactic or opening for Vic to skip over answering anything about why kids weren’t a possibility for him and Marina. "That works for me." There was another pause then as Vic tried to sort out whether, exactly, he needed to go into all the details when it came to Marina's situation. It was all pretty fucked up, and Vic didn't like thinking about it all that much, let alone the thought of discussing it with his teenaged son. He thought about maybe saving it for a better time, but he also wasn't exactly sure if there would ever be a right time. Vic didn't really like the thought of bringing it up later on, out of the blue, either. So he looked at Sasha evenly, hoping it would be clear from what he said and how he said it that follow-up questions were not really welcome at the current point in time. "She had that option removed a while back. I don't know the details of when it happened, just that it did. So, it's not a possibility, but in the long run I don't exactly know if I'd want any more kids in the first place. So you don't have anything to worry about when it comes to that." Sasha’s mouth opened in a wordless ‘oh’, surprised by the information that his dad had just told him, but also fully aware that this was not a topic they were going to discuss further -- and they shouldn't. This was a decision Marina had made a long time ago and it really made him uncomfortable talking about it while she wasn’t present. “Okay,” he finally answered simply, appeased by Vic’s reply and calmed by the knowledge that he wasn't about to be uprooted and replaced by younger children. “I-is this going to be all official with a ring and everything?” Sasha asked, switching the subject. Though not to an easier one. Jewelry and the acquiring of it was a touchy subject, something that he generally skirted around as much as he possibly could. "I was thinking about that." Vic couldn't help but glance over at the room he and Zhenya had once shared, and the box of jewelry that was still tucked into the corner of one of the drawers. He knew both of them were slipping into thinking about Zhenya, even if neither of them wanted to come out and say it just then. "I'd like to give her one of the ones we've got already, if that's okay with you." The last thing Vic wanted was to go out and look for something new, or let Marina do so herself. His eyes followed his dad’s gaze and Sasha felt his heart begin to race long before Vic’s words hit his ears. It came like a gut punch, the way his whole body tensed and his first reaction was to turn a wide eyed look on his dad. “Y-you want to give her something of mom’s?” The words came out stilted and quiet, almost as if they had been caught in his throat. “Would it be mom’s ring?” Sasha hated the way his heart kind of clenched at the idea of someone else wearing his mom’s wedding ring. He hated every last emotion this ignited in him. It was just jewelry, why was he being so weird about it? The alternative wasn’t something he wanted either, the idea of Vic going out into the city's on find a ring, or Marina doing it, brought up a wave of panic he disliked just as much as the emotions that his mother’s jewelry had sparked in him. "Yeah, I mean, if it makes sense." Vic's response came hurriedly, trying to defuse whatever emotional situation Sasha had going on. Not that he blamed him for it; considering everything, Sasha was actually handling it kind of well. But the last thing he wanted to do was upset his son, even if he didn't like the thought of commemorating getting hitched to Marina without a ring. Besides, Vic had his own feelings on the issue to sort through, too. He was silent for a moment, then added, "But only if you're good with it. We don't gotta do anything that makes anyone feel weird, okay? And don't tell me it's okay if it ain't. I want you to be honest with me on this." Silence filled the Airstream for a couple of minutes while Sasha mentally digested everything Vic had just said. It did make sense to use something of his mom’s and a wedding wasn’t a wedding without a ring. The longer he thought about the less upset he was with the idea of someone else wearing his mom’s stuff. Zhenya's jewelry had been so much a part of her that to Sasha having that stuff around felt like he still had a part of his mom around. But his dad wasn’t handing off a ring to some random person and if anyone was going to wear something of his mom’s, Sasha could admit he would prefer it was Marina. “It does make sense,” Sasha finally spoke, agreeing with his dad. “Mom wouldn’t want that stuff sitting in a box collecting dust for the rest of eternity,” he looked back up and met his dad’s gaze. “So yeah, I’m okay with you giving Marina her ring,” Sasha paused. “And I mean that.” "Okay," Vic said with a nod. "I believe you, and I don't think she'd want that either." He trusted his son well enough to take his response at face value, and honestly he also wasn't sure if pushing the kid to confirm that it was really okay would be any good for either of them just then. If Sasha said he was okay, it was really okay, and Vic could understand having mixed feelings about that but feeling good about it happening nonetheless. It was a pretty complicated situation, after all. He was just glad the two of them could have conversations like this without one of them (read: the teenager) storming off. He was quiet again for a moment, sorting through his own thoughts, before asking, "You want a hug?" There was visible relief on Sasha’s face when his dad didn't push him to confirm that he really was okay with it. He was, he wouldn't have said it if he hadn’t been. Still, his emotions were still raw and right there at the surface -- Sasha hadn’t thought about his mom’s absence this heavily in a little while, nor had he ever really prepared himself for moments like this, her things finding new homes with people. His mom wasn’t ‘things’, and yet this would take some adjusting to, even if he was one hundred percent okay with Marina wearing her ring. In some ways he knew his mom’s jewelry deserved a ‘second chance’ as much as his father did and it wasn’t doing any any good sitting in a box. His dad’s words snapped him out of the thought spiral he had fallen down and Sasha looked at him from across the table, allowing himself to drop his guards and all pretense of being grown up. “Yeah,” Sasha answered simply, unashamed of the fact the he really could use a hug right now. “I think I could use one.” "Me, too," Vic said, without any pretense of embarrassment. The conversation had gone well overall, better than he'd expected it would, but he would've been lying if he'd said that it'd been easy. He just hoped that despite everything, Sasha knew that Vic would always do his best to be there for him. "So come over here, kid." Sasha didn’t wait very long before he was up and out of his seat, letting his dad pull him into a hug and if he cried, well, he would deny it later (but he totally was.). |