Isaac Callahan (carrotandstick) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2016-03-08 22:05:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | # 2019 [03] march, demi rafferty, isaac callahan |
Who: Isaac and Demi
Where: the Austonian & the Dog Park
What: coming clean with a phone call
When: March 3rd, early morning
Hours. Demi had been tossing and turning in her bed for hours. The clock seemed to be ticking away in regards to the final secret between her and Isaac. Was it a secret though? Isaac had never asked and Demi some days just assumed he knew who she had been with before being arrested. No, if he knew he would have said something. That was the circle of thoughts spinning out of control in her mind, keeping her up and eventually as the clock struck five am Demi let out a exasperated sigh and reached for her phone. She wasn't going to get any rest until this was off her chest, until Isaac knew everything and could make his final decision about her, or about them. Would her previous relationship have any impact? Or would he be able to look past this like he had everything else in her past. Demi let that ping around her mind as she hit Isaac’s number and waited for him to pick up. It was early, so maybe he wouldn't. But she hoped he would. Shifting on the bed, Demi kicked off her blankets (which earned an unhappy noise from Hobbes) and drew her legs up to her chest, phone pressed against her ear as she waited. Her heart pounding and her hands clammy, she tried to maintain her cool while she waited. There was no point putting the cart before the horse, and Isaac had a habit of surprising her. With each ring of the phone her heart rate increased until she heard him pick up on the other end. “Isaac? I'm sorry this is so early,” she paused, her instinct was to just tell him she missed his voice and let him go back to sleep. That wasn’t why she had called though, so after a long silence she continued. “Can we talk?” It took Isaac a moment to answer, the ringing of his phone dragging him out of a deep sleep. He wasn’t a morning person by any stretch and now that he didn’t have to get up every day for work, alarm clocks were a thing of the past for him. His voice was rough with sleep as he asked, “Demi? What time--?” He pulled the phone away from his face for a moment, squinting against the bright light to the read the time and frowning at the hour before asking, “Baby, what’s wrong?” “Nothing, I mean, I’m fine,” Demi quickly assured Isaac while she attempted to ignore both the pang in her chest at hearing his voice, it was an ache she knew would remain until there was no longer distance separating them. There was little voice too, one that was trying to convince her to abandoned her current mission before it had even really begun. “I just, I have something I need to tell you,” she knew if she didn't spit it out soon she would lose her nerve. “Something you need to know before Nate makes my interview with him public.” Demi was beating around the bush and she knew it. Dragging this out and avoiding saying what needed to be said. So with one deep breath and without waiting for his response she soldiered forward. “The reason I refused to give up the Dog King’s name wasn’t out of loyalty, or it wasn’t just because of that. I...I didn't want to give up his name because he and I were involved, nothing official….but I was with him in everything but title. My relationship with him was why I was even there the night I got arrested….” She trailed off, a weight having been lifted off of her at finally giving up the last secret she held. Though it was replaced by a new weight, a worry that Isaac would reject her now that he knew just who she had been with before him. Isaac was quiet as he let Demi speak her piece, hearing the struggle she was having with spitting it out it in her voice. And really, her words weren’t all that surprising to him. It was something he’d suspected for a long time but actively ignored once things between them started getting serious. It was difficult to wrap his brain around the fact that Demi once had such strong feelings for a murderous criminal and wondered how after he’d gotten her arrested that she remained loyal, but--the heart was a fickle thing. Finally, after a moment of silence and when he was sure she was done speaking, he said, “I know. I mean, I was pretty sure.” Another pause. “Being back there doesn’t--” He faltered. “It doesn’t bring up old memories or feelings does it? Sometimes seeing an ex does that.” After his wife dying, it would be just his luck for the woman he loved to go back to her criminal ex-boyfriend. For one brief panicked moment Demi wondered if the silence Isaac allowed to fall between them after she had finished speaking meant he had hung up. Her heart was racing with the panic she felt creeping in around the edges and her hands began to shake, she hadn’t heard a click, but maybe the pounding of her own heart had drowned it out? Opening her mouth to ask if Isaac was still there, she quickly snapped it shut when his deep voice broke the silence, but her heart constricted at the way it falter and the question that he asked. Demi’s hold on her phone tightened and she wished - not for the first time - that they weren’t having this conversation over the phone, but in person where she could reach out for him, look him in the eye and quell any worries that were threatening to take hold of him. “Being back here does bring back a lot of feelings and memories,” Demi began softly. “Not the kind of feelings or memories you’re asking about though, darling,” she added quickly, her tone almost urgent. “When I saw Rodeo I was relieved he was alive, but the way I feel about him has changed. I love you, Isaac. Seeing my ex didn’t change that and it won’t.” Her voice held a note of finality to it that reflected how she felt on the matter. “Would it put your mind at ease to know he’s not even here? That he got grabbed just days after the jailbreak and nobody knows where he is.” Isaac was quiet again, taking in her words. It was so hard to have these conversations over the phone. He wished he could just look at her and touch her and hold her and be reassured that no matter how far they were separated, they could figure out a way to work this out. Finally his head began to nod slightly, his body reacting before his mouth could. “Good, that’s--good. But grabbed? By Patrolmen? If the Capitol had him again, I would’ve thought they’d brag about it. Though maybe announcing and gloating about recapturing Austin’s #1 wanted criminal might invite another jail break…” Isaac said, his thoughts spewing out of his mouth before he could really help it. He was still groggy as hell after being woken up unexpectedly. For so long talking about her ex, at least her most recent one, hadn’t been something she and Isaac discussed. So now that it was out there, Demi could admit it felt both freeing and a little strange, no longer having a single secret between them -- Isaac knew everything and still wanted her. “I thought you might think that,” she began with a faint smile, appreciating the fact that he didn’t hide the relief he felt with the knowledge that Rodeo was not in the same vicinity as her. “We don’t know, all the information we have to work on is he was pulled into a van. They’ve been searching for him, but so far nothing. I don’t think it was Olinger though, he wouldn't risk another escape, I think he’d just execute Rodeo right on the lawn of the Capitol.” Maybe she would be proven wrong, but Demi just didn’t think this felt like Olinger. After pausing to take a breath, he started again, speaking more slowly this time. “It’s not too hard, is it? You being there and me being here? Being there doesn’t make you wish you could be with someone who could be there with you?” Demi’s stomach twisted and she found herself having to pause and take a deep breath in response to his question. It was hard, harder than she thought it would be even. But despite the distance between them and the way her heart always ached to be near him, never once had she wished to be with anyone else. “I can’t lie and say it isn’t hard, because it is. I miss going to sleep and waking up next to you, the little moments between us throughout a day and just, you make me feel loved and safe. It’s for all those reasons and more that I haven't once wished you were someone else, or something else. Isaac, I love you and I knew this wouldn't be easy,” Demi paused, fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt as she spoke. “Do you wish it were easier? That maybe you had fallen for one of those Capitol girls and not someone like me?” “Absolutely not,” Isaac said, not even needing any time to think about it. “Demi, I--you remember what I was like when you first moved in with me, don’t you? I was barely a person. No one there got that, but you saw right through my shit and helped dragged me out of it. I just want you.” As far as he was concerned there was no one else for him anymore. He’d loved his wife completely and when he lost her he wasn’t sure he would ever recover from that. But by some miracle he had, and he was just going to keep thanking his lucky stars until the end of time. “Good, because I wasn’t about to give you up without a fight,” Demi remarked, a small smile playing on her lips in reaction to Isaac’s words. Each time he said he wanted her it was like the first time she heard it. The words sent butterflies buzzing around inside of her -- she was never going to tire of hearing him say it. “And anyway the people in the Capitol were idiots for not seeing through all of that to find the real you,” she paused. Sometimes she wasn’t sure how she had done it, broken through the haze Isaac had been in. But she was going to be thankful for the rest of her life that she had. “Which by the way is an amazing man who I’m lucky to have.” Sighing softly, Demi found herself laying back down on her bed with the phone pressed against her ear. “I love you,” she yawned as she spoke, the anxiety having left her once Isaac assured her that her previous relationship history was not in fact a deal breaker for them. “And thank you for, well, accepting what I had to tell you.” “I can’t say that I really understand everything that makes you tick just yet. We still have shit to figure out but I’m not going to let it come between us anymore. The world isn’t as black and white as I thought it was and it’s taking some getting used to.” “You have years to figure out exactly how I tick,” Demi remarked with a faint grin, even if Isaac couldn’t see it. “I’m done letting things get between us as well, we’ve gone down that road and it sucked.” She knew that no matter what happened she didn’t want to face a future without Isaac in it, which meant he wouldn't be the only person in their relationship figuring out how to balance all of this. Feeling himself relax as the conversation seemed to be calming down and drawing to a close, he shifted on the bed so he was more comfortable, he added, “So what I’m trying to say is I love you, too. And we’ll figure this out as we go, okay?” “Okay,” she agreed, her hand coming up to smother another yawn. She wished more than anything that this conversation could have happened face to face, that she could have been curled up against his side with her head on his shoulder slowly drifting back to sleep. But that wasn’t their reality right now. “I should let you get back to sleep, baby.” Demi hated the idea of getting off the phone with him, but she was also very aware of the fact that he was not a morning person and she had woken him up at an ungodly hour of the day. Isaac yawned as well, his eyelids feeling heavier by the moment. “Mmm, yeah, sleep,” he said, punctuated by another yawn. He and mornings were not the best of friends, and though he was glad he and Demi had the chance to talk this out, sleep was calling him once more. “I love you, Demi. Try and go back to bed? And I’ll text you when I get up in the morning, okay?” It wasn’t hard to pick up on the fact that Isaac was fighting sleep just as much as Demi was, a fact that brought a faint smile to her face as she imagined him lying in bed with his eyes drooping closed and Herculean battle he must be facing at that moment to remain awake enough to end their phone conversation. “It’ll be hard without you here but I’ll try,” Demi answered quietly as she shifted in bed to burrow further underneath the light blanket she had over herself. “I love you too, Isaac. And okay, you better or I’ll worry about you.” Her tone was light, but there was truth in her words. When she didn’t hear from him she did worry. “Sleep well, baby, I’ll talk to you soon.” Demi waited for Isaac to say his own goodbyes before she hit the end button on her phone and set it aside. She tried to ignore the ache in her chest that crept up whenever they said good bye. A small voice reminding her as she let her eyes drift closed that this wasn’t forever, that eventually they would find a solution to the physical distance between them. |