Savannah Posey (jurisdoctor) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2016-02-28 19:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2019 [02] february, calvin davidson, savannah posey |
Who: Savannah and Cal
Where: Oval Office, then LBJ rooftop
What: Unfamiliar sleeping situations wake Cal in the middle of the night. Full of nervous energy, he and Savannah go to the roof to talk so they don't wake Maizie and Olivia
When: February 1, middle of the night (after this)
Savannah’s body had been running on empty and once she’d finally settled into bed, she found sleep quickly. When her eyes opened next, it was still dark. A few moments of disorientation left her wondering why she was awake if it was clearly still night, but soon enough it became very clear. There was a body next to her and her feet were touching his and he was shifting restlessly, unconsciously struggling to make himself comfortable. It was one thing to spoon a dog but to be jostled by another actual human being--well, she wasn’t used to the familiar weight on the other side of the mattress. “Cal, stop squirming,” she whispered, rolling to her side, and reaching a hand out to touch his arm. The brief contact made him jerk, suddenly lurching away from her with a gasp of breath. With her own intake of breath, she hastily pulled her hand back, startled by his sudden reaction. In that brief moment of contact she'd felt the tension her touched had caused, and really she should have known better than to disturb a soldier in his sleep. The soldier was on his back now and fully awake, staring up at the unfamiliar ceiling, feeling an unfamiliar mattress pressing against his spine. His heart thudded hollowly in his chest, lit with a flare of adrenaline even though there were no threats here. Nothing. Safe. Locked room. Locked, secured building. Savannah beside him, just Savannah. Cal’s hands still remembered pulling the trigger again and again today, and body after body after body of shufflers falling. The nightmares always got worse after an active day like this. “Sorry,” he said back, voice low. “Shit guest. Can’t actually sleep that well in a place I don’t know.” “No, I’m sorry,” Savannah said, pointedly keeping her hands to herself, though her instinct told her to reach out and comfort. “You okay?” “Yeah, it’s fine.” His eyes were accustomed to the dark of the room and he could see her now, an outline of blonde hair and shoulders in the gloom. He’d instinctively inched closer during the night, it seemed, seeking out warmth; Cal was only glad that he hadn’t woken up spooning her. All he knew was that that would have crossed a particular line, although the mere fact that he was thinking of it and it had occurred to him as a possibility meant that—Well. He was on the verge of telling her not to worry about it, to go back to sleep, but then he sat up in a rustle of blankets, leaning over his knees and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He coughed. “Actually, you got any water? I’m thirsty as hell.” “Course,” Savannah said, rolling to her back before pushing up to a seated position as well. Running a hand through her hair to push it away from her face (what a difference 2 years without a haircut made), she twisted to reach the table next to her bed and grabbed the mason jar full of water. Unscrewing the lid, she winced slightly at the rattling of the lid but once that was set to the side, she nudged his arm and held it out to Cal, her fingers brushing against his as she made sure he had a good hold on it before withdrawing her hand. “Mattress too lumpy?” She asked in a whisper in an attempt to not ask again if he was okay. If he wanted to talk, he would do it on his own terms. He drank gratefully from the mason jar, easing his parched throat. (Say this for the fucking Hellhounds: at least they did keep this shelter well-stocked in clean water.) It also gave Cal some time to recompose and reorient himself, remembering where he was and who he was with. And who else might be asleep in the room. He didn’t want to disturb the girls; everyone at the library deserved their rest, after the last couple days they’d had. “Nah, the mattress is good. I just—get restless, you know?” It was just the surface of the matter, but from the way Cal glanced over to the makeshift wall of pallets, he was equally hesitant to speak too loudly here. Savannah nodded in understanding, knowing all-too-well how difficult it was to stay asleep through the night. More often than not she found her way down to her office, not necessarily to work through the night, but just for a change of scenery. “C’mon, let’s go stretch our legs,” she said, inching her way to the edge of the bed, careful not to step on the dog. Her movement roused him of course, but with quick reassurances that he should stay, Finn laid his head back down and Savannah rounded the bed to stand at Cal’s side. It took him only a few moments to hobble into his jeans and shoes, and then he wasn’t much different from Finn, to be honest: in need of anxious energy that needed to be dispelled, and following her out of the room. He was careful to step where Savannah stepped, lest he walk right into a shelf or table or knock over some of Maizie’s borrowed books. When they were out into the hall, he seemed to breathe properly for the first time since waking up. “I don’t sleep well after shooting,” Cal said, blurting it out almost. “I’m a light sleeper anyway if I haven’t been drinkin’, but a night after shooting especially makes me feel like I need to be on my guard. Unfamiliar bed, that does it too. That’s pretty much it. Lumps or no lumps.” A crack of a wry smile. “Lovely company or not.” It was night so the library existed in relative darkness, but after two years of living there, Savannah knew the layout well enough to lead them to their destination. She grabbed Cal’s arm, then gently began leading him to the staircase, listening all the while. “I'm glad you stayed, even if you kicked me,” she said with a smile, though in the pitch black stairwell he wouldn't be able to see her face. “But you'd let me know if I could do somethin’, right?” “Hey, you lettin’ me go for a walk is already doing something,” Cal pointed out. “Well if there's more, you'd let me know?” Cal had already done so much for her these past two days. It was really because of her that he was feeling like this, so of course she wanted to alleviate any stress she could. They only had to go up one flight and then they were in the roof, the stars and the moon lighting up Austin. “God, it's beautiful, ain't it?” He took in a deep breath, nodding in agreement. Sometimes the indoors grew stifling. Shut off from the gas and locked up and barricaded against the zombies, everyone breathing and existing in tight quarters, people who didn’t see showers often enough… Fresh air was a luxury. It was part of the reason he liked visiting the Capitol rotunda at night: feeling the freedom of being out in the open, but without the crawling fear of being killed and eaten for it. Enjoy the little things. “I’m never over it,” Cal said. “The sky, I mean. The silver lining in all this.” He gestured towards the stars above them, so bright and brilliant in the darkened city. “I can almost forget all the bad shit when I'm lookin’ at this,” Savannah said, walking over towards the edge of the roof and resting her hands on the ledge surrounding the perimeter. It was so strange to see all the shadows of the buildings that once meant a bustling and thriving city but now they were just the tombstones of Austin. “Is this what it was like at your family's farm, even before?” She'd grown up in Houston but always loved the peace and quiet of the country. The man tilted his head, glancing over at her. Something about Savannah—even down to her name—reminded him of home, so he always found himself slightly surprised to remember that she hadn’t come from the boonies like he had. “Yeah. All quiet, rolling fields and the barn and livestock… The skies weren’t as clear as this, but it was pretty fuckin’ idyllic. There’s still a bit of that whenever I go back to visit, on the good nights when nothing’s attackin’. You’re a city girl, right?” They’d been friends for years, but they’d been more like acquaintances back in the old days— and then post-rising, there were always so many other problems and issues to focus on. For the first time in ages, Cal realised they actually had some time to breathe and ask these questions. “Mhmm,” Savannah hummed, nodding her head slightly in confirmation. “I grew up just outside Houston, but we used to go down to Corpus Christi on the weekends sometimes. We used to stay at this awful rundown bungalow right on the beach and I swear the floor was more sand than anythin’ else,” she laughed. “It was more rollin’ waves than fields but it was nice to get away.” “The beach? Nice. I could see you fittin’ in there. Me, I was a mountain boy—there were rivers and lakes, but I was always landlocked.” Then Cal’s eyes lit up with a mischievous wink. “Were you ever sorority girls on spring break down to the beach? Please tell me you were.” Savannah laughed and shook her head. “I didn't have time to be a sorority girl, Cal. Me and Demi gettin’ drunk on a Saturday night was about the closest I ever got to that. And since you were usually there with us, guess that means you were a part of our sorority,” she grinned. “Puncturing all my fantasies of the two of you havin’ pillow fights in pyjama shorts before your exams in the morning,” he laughed, trying an exaggerated sulk in his voice. “I never got the stereotypical college experience. A guy can dream.” The old world usually seemed light-years away, but up here on the roof, with nothing but dead silence and the wind and the stars, Cal could almost pretend that it wasn’t. They were up late, out for a midnight walk when they couldn’t sleep. He was going in for a shift at the mechanic’s shop in the morning. Savannah was working on an intensive case at her firm. Everything was fine. Everything was fine. “If you wanted to hear stories about me gettin’ drunk and making out with other girls you could just ask,” Savannah said, suppressing an amused smile. “I--well, when I found out about Maizie and Liv I had to talk to them--” because she'd fallen into the role of mother without ever having meant to “--and I told Maizie about how I'd been with other women before. So it wouldn't be the first time I've had this conversation.” Cal burst out with a real laugh then. They’d been down this road before when he outed himself, but: “For real? I don’t envy you the job, that ain’t a conversation I would’ve liked havin’ with my daughter. How fucking mortified were you to have The Talk with her, on a scale of 1-10?” Savannah shrugged, seeing the humor in the situation, but responding seriously, “I just think if you can’t talk about that kind of stuff maybe you shouldn’t be doin’ it. I’m not ashamed of anythin’ I’ve done and I don’t want Maizie to feel that way about her relationship. I think--” She bit her lip, diverting her gaze away from Cal, “I think she was worried that I wouldn’t approve. I don’t think Gray would have. At least not at first. Couldn’t have been easy for her to have feelings like that.” Cal’s lips pursed and he ducked his head, not able to meet her eye for a moment. He was thinking. “I still haven’t told my father,” he admitted. “I mean, it’s rare enough that it ain’t a big deal, I can get away with it—I lean more to women so I probably wasn’t ever gonna bring home a serious boyfriend anyway, and there’s other shit on his mind these days—but I get it. I’m almost thirty-three freakin’ years old and I still can’t tell him. So I think it’s a real good thing that you’re so supportive of her.” Savannah’s lips pursed as well, an unsettled feeling forming in the pit of her stomach. “Rare” as Cal’s relations with men might be, it was still a part of who he was. She didn’t like the idea of him writing it off like that. But it was his life and his decision to make. It wasn’t her place, really, to have feelings about something like that. She only hoped that her interaction with Maizie didn’t leave her feeling similarly. “I’m doin’ the best I can. Don’t think I’ve messed anything up too badly yet,” she said, laughing weakly. It was such a… job. One that she was happy to do, but she’d never realized before. “Hey, you didn’t see Maizie at the lending library. Your girl’s got a level head on her. I think you’re probably doin’ just fine, all things considered.” “Thanks,” Savannah smiled, grateful for the reassurance. “And anyways. Thanks again for lettin’ me crash,” Cal said. He was leaning against the edge of the roof now, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm. He hadn’t grabbed his jacket; probably a mistake, but not a big one, all things told. Crossing her arms in an attempt to keep warm (she'd forgotten a sweater as well) she said, “You don't have to keep thankin’ me.” “Bad habit,” he agreed, with a little shudder. Almost a shiver, but not. “But seriously. I get curfew—I’ve had bad enough luck at night that I know the value of curfew—but you didn’t need to give up your own bed. So I gotta be grateful for those friendship perks.” “I’d rather be too careful,” Savannah agreed, rubbing her hand on her arm to try and create some heat on her chilled skin. “And you do the same for me. It’s only fair I return the favor,” she smiled. That movement out of the corner of his eye was familiar, and he moved closer almost on autopilot, to end up side-by-side with Savannah and his forearm pressed against hers, before his arm went over her shoulder. Just as naturally, Savannah shifted closer to Cal, greedy for his body heat and the general comfort of feeling his arm around her. Just to stay warm. Just that. (Although how many times had he hit on someone like this: their breaths steaming in the brisk air, chilled hands creeping under jackets and shirts, seeking bare skin to warm up? He couldn’t keep count. But he didn’t move further.) “It’d probably be warmer in Corpus Christi,” he said dryly. “Probably,” Savannah agreed, her arm shifting around Cal’s waist as she leaned into him further. “Next time let’s bring sweaters.” Spoken as if this might happen again. “I think I’ve still got a hideous red-and-green Christmas sweater lyin’ around somewhere I could subject you to.” And he grinned into the night, though she wasn’t able to see it. |