Isaac Callahan (carrotandstick) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2015-11-25 16:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2018 [11] november, demi rafferty, isaac callahan |
Who: Demi and Isaac
Where: their apartment
What: a pause from their fight aka middle of the night cuddling
When: 2am-ish, November 9th
Dancing with Isaac earlier had only done one thing. It made Demi miss him more. Their bed (because she couldn’t think of it as simply hers, or his that she was borrowing) had felt empty before, but now the space in which he used to occupy seemed endless and all she could do was toss and turn, sleep even more elusive than it had been the last few days. Counting sheep had been a useless endeavour, ending in a pillow being tossed across the room as she groaned in frustration. She thought about raiding the liquor cabinet and drinking herself into oblivion, but a little voice whispered in her ear that that would only serve to lower Isaac’s opinion of her even more. Whether that was true or not, Demi had no idea, but she wasn’t looking to give Isaac anymore reason to wish her out of his life than he already had. That thought had her shoving her face into her own pillow and screaming, the noise muffled enough that she hoped Isaac hadn’t heard it in the other room. As much as Demi had been fighting not to admit it to herself, she knew the one thing that would finally bring her rest was if she were near him. It was insane what she was thinking of doing, and could very well lead to both a physical and verbal rejection of her now that they didn’t have an audience. Still, her desire to be near him outweighed her fear of being tossed out of his presence and her worst fear being confirmed -- that Isaac didn’t want her anymore. With her resolve set, Demi slipped out of bed and made the short trip from their bedroom to the living room. She stopped just feet from the couch, unsure if Isaac was asleep or not as she studied his still frame sprawled across the dark leather of the couch. Someone else might have gently shook him, prodding him to see if he was awake and wanted company. Not Demi. Instead she traveled the last few feet to the couch and gingerly wedged herself into the small space that remained near Isaac on the couch. Isaac had fallen asleep almost as soon as he'd shut his eyes earlier, mostly thanks to his tipsy state, so he was in fact asleep when Demi slid in next to him. He was sleepy, and probably still a bit drunk, so subconsciously he reached out, putting an arm around her. Letting out a sleepy groan, he shifted a bit, scooting back against the back of the couch and pulled Demi closer to him. “What’re you doing here?” He asked, his voice rough with sleep. His actions weren't matching his words in the slightest but she felt good next to him so he couldn't quite help it. Something inside of Demi loosened, uncoiling and finally relaxing once Isaac’s arm was around her. She could feel the press of his body against hers, a steady and solid comfort. Closing her eyes, she found the hand that was resting against her stomach and laced her fingers through his. “Trying to get some sleep,” she answered honestly, voice quiet in the stillness of their apartment. “I don't want anything from you, I just want to lay here, okay?” Her heart is pounding against her ribcage in rhythm with each passing second. While his arm may be around her, Demi knows that at any second Isaac may wake up fully, sleep chased from his mind and send her back to the bedroom and the king size bed that's too big without him in it. A low ‘hmmm’ rumbled in Isaac’s chest as he thought her words over. Her presence had woken him up, and though his mind was still a little fuzzy with sleep and alcohol, he was becoming more alert by the minute. It would be a lie to say that Isaac had been sleeping well out here on the couch the past few nights. Practically speaking, it wasn’t nearly as comfortable as the bed, but his loss of sleep had to do with much more than that. He’d gotten used to sharing the bed with Demi and found comfort in holding her in his arms as he slept. Out here, the cushions were disjointed and lumpy and he was alone. “You miss me or something?” He asked quietly. meaning to tease her, but he was genuinely curious. She’d kicked him out of the bed yet here she was squeezing in next to him on the couch. It was all a little confusing. Despite the tension that has built up between them and the deep freeze their apartment has been in since the minute news broke that the Hellhounds were locked up, Demi finds herself giggling at his teasing. The noise bright and happy in the stillness of the apartment, a noise that hasn’t been heard in days and is a surprise to her even as it bubbles up out of her. “What do you think?” Demi murmured in return, turning her head just slightly to look back at him in the darkness. “I’m definitely not out here because I like the couch.” her words are raw, blunt and honest. There isn’t any acting here as she laid her cards out on the table for Isaac to see. Isaac’s body shook in a quiet laugh at her words. “Well that makes two. Not liking the couch that is,” he said. There hadn’t been a lot of laughter in their household lately so it felt good to let loose right now. Sleepy and tipsy as he was, there weren’t a lot of inhibitions left. Demi missed him, plain and simple. She missed the solid weight of him next to her in the bed. She missed his arms around her, anchoring her to the here and now. She missed being able to burrow in next to him, to cling to him when she woke up from a nightmare and needed to be reminded that she wasn’t in La Quinta anymore. “Are you saying you don’t miss me?” Demi tried not to tense up as she waited for his answer, knowing what she wanted to hear, but also knowing that Isaac had a lot of reasons to be upset with her -- even to decide he didn’t want this anymore. Growing more serious, Isaac nuzzled his nose into the back of her head, hiding in her hair. “Yeah, I miss you too,” he admitted. There was definitely a “but” to that sentence but that was the last thing he wanted to focus on. Right now they existed in some parallel universe where it wasn’t impossible for them to be together and they didn’t have to fight the odds so damn hard. Even if the sun was going to come up tomorrow and illuminate the hell out of all their problems, at least they could have tonight. Right? The panic or fear of rejection that had had a grip on her heart loosened with Isaac’s confirmation that he missed her. Demi let out a happy little sound, something between an giggle and a noise of surprise. A smile settled on her features, even if he couldn’t see it. This didn’t change anything, she knew they were still nowhere near okay, but he missed her and that was what she was going to focus on right now. “Does that mean I get to stay?” she asked quietly, pressing in closer to him while she made no attempt to mask the hopeful tone in her voice. Isaac resisted the urge to tell her that he wasn’t the one who kicked her out of bed, but this was nice and the last thing he wanted to do was start a fight right now. So instead he just nodded and kissed the back of her head. “I’m not going to make you leave,” he said, giving the hand laced with his a squeeze. With that Demi shifted, though the space was limited on the couch she wiggled around until she was facing him. “I wouldn’t leave even if you tried,” she murmured, untangling their hands so she could place hers against his cheek. “And you know you really should keep this, I like it,” she added as her fingers traced the line of his jaw. “I meant it when I said it makes you really kind of irresistible.” There was still that hesitance from earlier in the evening, that part of Demi that didn’t know where the line was with them anymore. Did it end at cuddling or could she kiss him? Isaac really was going to have to make the first move, if there was any kind of move to make at all. Isaac chuckled softly at Demi’s words, then moved his head up and down, meaning to scratch her with his whiskers. “Yeah? Is that why you're out on the couch with me? Because I have a beard? Never knew facial hair would turn me into a chick magnet.” He was perfectly content to hold her here in his arms, even if the couch was lumpy and too small. But beyond that he wasn't sure where the line was either. This hot and cold game they were playing was giving him whiplash. Doing her best to duck away from him as he ran his whiskers over her skin, Demi couldn't suppress the giggles that bubbled up in response to his actions, the noises only encouraging Isaac further. He hadn’t realized he missed her laugh so much until now. “Yes, it's only the beard that brought me out here,” she said, rolling her eyes. “What can I say, I'm a sucker for facial hair. It wasn't at all because I missed you or this.” Demi couldn't get any closer to him than she already was, but that didn't stop her from trying to eliminate any and all space that may have remained between them. “Alright, maybe it was because I missed this,” Demi murmured. “So don't you dare get any ideas of becoming a chick magnet. You're still m-” She cut herself off, afraid to lay some kind of claim to him and end up rudely corrected. Could she still say he was hers? Had he ever been or was this just a passing thing for him? These were the questions that had plagued her since the conversation that started this whole fight. “I hate all of this so much,” Isaac said, the frown audible in his voice. He didn’t see any way around it, though, so long as he supported the Capitol and their goal of keeping the Hellhounds locked up for good and Demi stood for everything opposite of that. “I wish--Wouldn’t it be nice if all this bullshit didn’t exist? We should just go somewhere it can’t follow us.” It wasn’t a viable option for either of them, but here in the middle of the night, it sure seemed tempting. Pressing in closer to Isaac, Demi buried her face in the crook of his neck and sighed. “Me too,” the words are muffled, but her tone is clear. She hates the fact that their loyalties are so vastly different. That he supports everything she hates, not only that, but he despised the very people she considered to be her family. “Like Neverland?” Demi asked, unable to deny the fact that she would love if they could just exist, just the two of them, and block everything else out. They can’t though, that’s not what their reality was. Isaac’s chest rose and fell in a short laugh. “Sort of. Though I don’t mind being a little grown up,” he said, his last words hinting at an innuendo. Sometimes he felt like a lost boy and like he’d spent a lot of the last two years ignoring reality, but he couldn’t live that way anymore. Plus, for how much time they spent in bed (or the shower or sometimes the couch) they were definitely grown ups. It was much easier when they just used sex to deflect from any fight they were having, and right now they were experiencing a real doozy. “Captain Hook was a grown up, so maybe you’re a pirate,” Demi teased, catching the meaning behind his words and smiling softly at them. “And I’m some bar wench you found when docked at a port somewhere,” she continued, indulging this idea of make believe because it was far easier than the reality they faced. “You know I look pretty good in a corset.” A conversation like this was easy and selfishly Demi wanted to get lost in this moment right now and forget about everything trying to pull to them apart. On a whim and without warning, she framed his face with her hands and pulled him down to her until their lips met. The kiss was nowhere near like ones they had shared before, this one had a hesitance to it, as if Demi was waiting for Isaac to pull away and push her off the couch -- after all, they were still fighting. The kiss was a surprise, though Isaac didn’t pull back from it. He’d missed this. Their relationship was a rather physical one, so to quit cold turkey like they had was painful. It wasn’t just how good the sex felt that he missed. For him, actions spoke so much louder than words and every kiss and touch was him showing her how he felt and he could only imagine it was the same for Demi. Being back in Siberia left him longing for more than just the physical aspect of their touches. After kissing her back slowly, his lips initially just as hesitant though grew more confident as the seconds elapsed, he pulled back slightly, only putting a few inches between their mouths. “Can we press pause on everything for tonight?” He wasn’t about to pretend everything was okay and he knew Demi wasn’t going to bend on her positions any time soon but… they both needed this. Dark eyes searched his in the dim light of the living room after Isaac’s question had registered. Demi didn’t want to return to an empty bed tonight, not after she had felt the weight of his arm around her waist and the touch of his lips against hers. What he was asking, it wouldn’t eliminate the reality of their situation, wouldn’t wipe away the facts or sweep this fight under the rug to be forever forgotten. But, regardless of all of that the idea of forgetting all of if for one night, to set it all aside and be ‘them’ again, it lessened the ache in her chest that had hung there growing heavier and heavier with each passing day and the absence of Isaac’s touch and the absence of him in their bed with each long night she spent alone. “Hopefully we don’t press pause on everything,” Demi answered with a twinkle in her dark eyes as her hands were already working their way underneath the hem of his t-shirt. “But we can pause this fight, if that’s what you’re asking.” She didn’t know if pausing things would lessen the ache permanently, or intensify it once they shifted back to how they had been of late. In the moment she didn’t care, because she missed him and if she could have him back for even just one night she would take it. Isaac let out a sigh of relief as Demi didn’t pull away, and in fact moved to touch him further. The skin on skin contact of her hand under his shirt was a simple touch, but one that he’d missed this past month. It was hard to believe things had been so bad for them for so long. Even when Demi first came to stay with him, their relationship wasn’t this tense. But tonight, no matter how stupid and reckless it was, they were ignoring all that in favor of finding some comfort in one another. Nodding slightly, slightly amused that she seemed to be on the exact same page as him, he leaned in for another brief kiss, then said, “I’ve missed you.” It was the truth, even if saying the words wouldn’t magically repair the rift between them. “I’ve missed you too,” Demi murmured, a content sigh escaping her as the tension seemed to slip away, it’s grasp on them gone for the moment. She knew that eventually it would return, eventually they would leave the pause they had put in place behind and plunge themselves back into the reality of their current situation. But for now, regardless of the recklessness of it, she was going to soak up every last minute of unburdened time with Isaac. Demi leaned in and pressed another kiss to Isaac’s lips, while her hands moved over the expanse of his stomach, fingertips tracing the familiar landscape of the skin and muscle there. “Can we?” she pulled back from the kiss and let the question hang in the air, positive she didn’t need to spell out what she was asking of him. Isaac had fully given into the idea of only focusing on tonight and not worrying about the realities of tomorrow so at Demi’s words he didn’t even hesitate before nodding. Hands moved to wrap around her waist and he pulled her on top of him before he was meeting her in another kiss. Focused on the feel of Demi pressed against him after going so long without, he turned off his brain and pushing aside all the thoughts that plagued him. At least for tonight. |