Nate Danger (provenate) wrote in remains_freenet, @ 2015-09-02 10:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2018 [09] september, # interview, # username: falling2pieces, # username: slapinthefarce |
Interview
OFF CAMERA: Can you please state your name please? [The camera pulls back slowly until she’s completely in frame.] [She doesn’t answer right away. Instead, she bites nervously at her thumbnail, the one that’s already bleeding, before finally looking at the camera.] Emilie. [Then, it’s as if she remembers the rest.] Emilie Michelle Galloway. With an I-E at the end, not a Y. [Camera zooms on her bloody thumb, up her arm and back to her eyes.] How long have you been in Austin? Is it just you? [Emilie is coming down from a high; she’s fidgety and restless, but it’s also when she is at her most lucid. At first, she watches the man behind the camera with her bright blue eyes, almost reflective in the dark.] A while. Came here before it happened. College. [His next question gives her pause, and a brief look of very real pain filters over her pallid features.] It is now. Everyone leaves, you know. [She bites harder at her nail.] [Nate is perfectly relaxed even though he is behind the camera. He’s heard stories of the Ghouls but he’s unsure what any of that means. That’s what he’s here to find out.] How old are you? Did you graduate? What were you studying before the world fell apart? [It says a lot that Emilie has to think about her answer, because time doesn’t pass the same down in the tunnels.] I’m twenty-one. [She shakes her head.] Didn’t graduate. Didn’t have time. We were in class one day, and — [shrugs] boom. Down the rabbit hole it all went, just like that. [Emilie laughs, but it isn’t a pleasant sound.] Childhood education. I wanted to be a teacher. Seems silly. [The camera pulls out again. Off camera Nate is shaking his head and tries not to look pitying. She was so young. Is still so young.] So, when the world went you came down here instead of a Shelter. You were alone? Or were there a group of you in the beginning? [Her silence is heavy and strained, rife with emotions that are only conveyed in her eyes.] Didn’t come down here at first. Ezra and I tried to make it out there. [She says his name as though she’s already introduced him. In her mind, she has.] There was a group. One by one they died off like fruit flies stuck in a trap, until it was just us. Bad things happened to them. Because of them, too. OFF CAMERA:[It’s Nates job to ask tough questions. The interview is about truth, about going there.] Who is Ezra? [He doesn’t assume he knows but gaging from her expression it’s someone that is close]. Can you expand? What do you mean by bad things? [Who is Ezra? That’s a loaded question, and she worries at her bottom lip as she considers her answer. How can she convey what Ezra is to her?] Everything. The universe. We came into the world together, always said that’s how we’d leave it. He’s my twin. Ezra Michael Galloway. [He’s more than that. He’s her lover, her watcher, her caretaker. And now he’s gone, and she’s alone.] We had our own shelter. Made it a home, with some friends. One of them let The Bad Men in. They did bad things. Killed our friends, tried to kill us. Took things that didn’t belong to them. [Among other things.] Sometimes I think they actually did kill me, that I’m just a pile of bones back there. [Nate hears the word ‘tried’ and files that away.] Men. A group of men out there. To escape you came down there? Down into the tunnels. Had you known that others were there? What did you expect to find? The two of you? [She shakes her head.] Didn’t know about the tunnels. It was so hot up here, so bright and bad and harsh, and we thought the tunnels might be cooler. Safer. [Emilie smirks then and, just like the laugh, it isn’t pleasant or humorous.] They go for miles, you know. The tunnels. They wind and bend like a labyrinth. Keep waiting for the Minotaur. Was scary at first, but you get used to it. You adapt. Evolve. Everyone calls us rats, but rats know how to survive. We’ll be here after you’re all gone and rotting. [Nate’s arms erupt in goosepimples. The girl is disconcerting and sad all at the same time. He isn’t sure if he should be afraid or comforting. He settles on a little of both] You like the company you keep? Rats are social animals and I haven’t heard that about the Ghouls. How would you describe the society? [He pauses, brow crumpled, realizing that almost no one knows anything about the people under the city.] Do you call yourselves Ghouls or is that just something everyone else made up? [Like the company she keeps? It’s almost enough to make her laugh but not quite.] Not much company. Ghosts. Junkies. Walking, talking corpses and bones. We’re all the same. Except Ezra. He wasn’t the same as the rest. [She bites at her hangnail again, doesn’t seem bothered when it begins to bleed a little heavier.] It’s dark down there. The lights buzz and blink or don’t work at all. Things were better when Sister Slaughter was around. He and Miz took care of us. [When he asks if they call themselves Ghouls, Emilie shakes her head.] I don’t know. Just how it was when we got down there. Lots of mean people. [She should know, since she’s one of them.] Is Ezra dead? [Nate jumps right to the question. She is speaking about him in past tense and avoiding getting there. He wonders why. Then there’s other names. Ones he hasn’t heard before and he does what he does best. He asks.] Sister Slaughter and Miz? Are they addicts too? Who are they Emilie? Can you describe them? [Even hearing ‘Ezra’ and ‘dead’ in the same sentence makes her snap her head up, eyes flashing something dangerous in the darkness. It’s a fair question, but she doesn’t like it.] Not dead. Gone. He left. He left me. I don’t know where he went. I try to find him, but … [Twitch.] Nu-uh. They aren’t addicts. They don’t like the Wash, tried to make us all better and clean. But then the Dog King killed him. Humpty Dumpty fell off his wall, and his Queen couldn’t put him back together again. I like Miz. She’s soft and warm and she would sing me to sleep. Ezra says she’s back, but I haven’t seen her. OFF CAMERA:[Nate notes the darkness that swallows up her expression after he’s asked his question and he clears his throat. He doesn’t pretend not to be cautious or fearful. He is, often. Anyone that says otherwise is just unwise.] Why? Why would he leave anyone that loves him as much as you do? [He’s trying to draw out something from her. Something that isn’t riddled with drugs.] Why would they make you clean? Just because? The Dog King deals the drugs? Have you met him? [The dangerous look is suddenly gone, replaced instead by something hollow and sad. For the first time since the interview has started, she looks like a twenty-one year old girl and not a rabid animal.] I hurt him. I break everything I touch. Ash in my hands, dust to dust. He said I’m not her anymore, that I’ve been gone too long. [She looks down.] I miss him. He’s not like me. He’s good. Doesn’t like the dark. Don’t like it much without him, either. [His questions about the Dog King makes her shift uncomfortably, mostly because she isn’t sure what her new Prax dealer would want her to discuss publicly.] Sister and Miz just wanted to help. Miz takes us under her wing. I’ve met the King. [Her smile is slow and almost dreamy, undoubtedly thinking about the Wash.] What’s your name? [Big, owlish eyes blink as they look at him, waiting for an answer.] Nate Quinn. [He answers that question first, giving her his whole name. He has nothing he wants to hide. He’s always been an open book. Secrets don’t look right on him.] When did you start taking the Praxacaterol? Can you paint a picture of what it was the first time you took the drug? Did you do drugs before? Nate Quinn. [She repeats the name, testing it out to see how it feels in her mouth. Satisfied, Emilie shrugs and returns her attention to the camera.] I don’t know. A year. A millennium. Time doesn’t work the same as it did before. No more days, only nights, and there’s no stars. Clover is always talking about stars. I don’t think she knows they’ve all burned out. [Just thinking about the first time she did Prax makes a body-wide shiver seize the brunette.] It was … I had hurt myself before. Ezra and I fought a Biter and I slipped, hit my back. Crunch. Thought I broke it, and it hurt so badly. Could hardly move for days. Then one of them offered me the Wash. Said it would make the pain go away. They were right. Shot it in my arm — [She gestures to the inside of her elbow, which is still bleeding sluggishly from her last injection. Without Ezra, she doesn’t see the point in snorting rather than injecting. Maybe it will kill her quicker this way.] And everything disappeared. It was like being able to breathe for the first time in forever, like the first rain after a drought. It made everything feel okay. [When he asks if she’d done drugs before, she shakes her head.] Never. Mom and dad, they did them. Lots of them. Ezra and I saw what it did and never wanted to touch it, but … [Sigh.] I turned into mom. That’s what Ezra said. OFF CAMERA:That’s longer than most people. They say that the Wash rips through people. [He can’t help but glance at her arm and the oozing injection site] Miz helped you get sober? Have you considered getting off the drug again? [He’s trying to find the correct questions for her, to open her up in a way that the drugs can’t. He wants to find out more but it’s difficult to find exactly the right questions without relying on that push button - Ezra] Why do you consider yourself so lost? Even with your brother, it doesn’t sound as if you’d found what you were looking for. Why’s that? That’s ‘cause it does. Burns you up from the inside and leaves nothing but ashes, but you don’t feel it when it does it. Makes everything feel okay again. [The question about Miz earns a shake of her head.] No, she didn’t get me clean, but she tried. Everyone tried. Too late for me. [She hesitates, unsure how to answer. She needs a hit; she’s getting more and more jittery by the second, her eyes a little more wild.] Because there’s nothing left to look for. Don’t you get it? There’s nothing left. The world’s gone, ashes just like my insides. Lost? I’m not lost. I see the truth, and no one else does. If they did, they’d be doing the same shit I am because they couldn’t handle it. OFF CAMERA:[Nate shrugs.] I don’t agree. [He’s not being condescending. He’s being frank.] You’ve given up. It’s hard on someone that loves you to see that. The addict feels guilt but the people around them live through all the symptoms, all the shit, they are the ones with eyes wide open while you’re crashing down unaware, caught in a blissful state. [Nate knows. He’s an addict himself. A drunk who knows too well what it’s like to be a selfish prick. He also hasn’t given up. Especially after Bunny has found him and he has found Bode. He has plenty to live for. Emilie has lost that capacity to see.] How would you describe what Ezra sees when he looks at you? [She’s biting at her nail again, this time gnawing more on skin than the nail itself, and before long it’s bleeding consistently, not just sluggishly. Emilie is no longer riding a high, and it won’t be too much longer before she starts to unravel at the seams.] He sees … a monster. Said I’m not his sister anymore, that I’m something else. He’s still my brother, though. He left me in the dark. I’m not scared of it, though. Nu-uh. [That’s a lie. Emilie has always been frightened of the dark. It was only Ezra that made it bearable. Her next question is soft and sad with just a touch of hope mixed in. Maybe the only hope she’s shown this entire interview.] Have you seen him? I keep looking for him, but he’s just gone. If you see him, will you tell him that I’m looking for him? That he needs to come home? OFF CAMERA:[It’s dangerous for him to interfere. It’s dangerous not just because she is dangerous but because he isn’t here to shake things up. He’s supposed to remain neutral. His opinions shouldn’t matter. Not until the camera is turned off.] I haven’t. [he makes a small adjustment and zooms in on the blood that is dripping now, the horror of crimson in the darkness, the unsettling notion that she doesn’t even care how much she bleeds or where the blood drops land.] Would you stop taking Prax if it meant Ezra would come home. Is there anything more important than Prax? [She looks disappointed when he tells her that he hasn’t seen her brother, and she looks down briefly at the floor. That is, until he asks his next question.] I tried that. A few times. I knew I needed to stop, that I needed to be her, so Ezra and I tried to get it out of me. [Emilie shudders, thinking back to the crippling pain of the withdrawals, the fear of waking up after a seizure, foaming vomit in her mouth and her body caught in a constant tremor.] Didn’t work. Once it’s in, you can’t get it out. I can’t stop it. It’ll kill me first, don’t you get it? Why can’t anyone get that? It buries itself beneath your skin and latches on. [Emilie stills. Her eyes narrow.] You’re saying I don’t love Ezra, aren’t you? OFF CAMERA:[Nate shakes his head.] No. I wasn’t saying that at all. It’s obvious you do.[He puts a palm up, a white flag between them.] It’s obvious he loves you. If he didn’t he could have handled it, he could have lived with the pain of watching you develop into something else. [He can’t help but look at her with a pitying eye. She’s shriveling. Her human spirit is shriveling in front of him, even in the short time he’s known her, Nate can see that she is a wisp of a person and he knows, without any shadow of a doubt that seeing Emilie as she is now must have destroyed him.] I want to find your brother. Do you know where I might find him? [His surrender seems to put her at ease, somewhat, and she goes back to chewing at her nail. She’s trembling now, a sheen of sweat on her forehead. If she doesn’t get a hit soon, the withdrawals will start.] He left me down there. [At the mention of finding her brother, Emilie’s face briefly lit up at the thought.] Would you? Please? He … I don’t know where he is. I know his username, though. I could give you that. Maybe he’d listen to you if you told him to come home. [Nate nods.]Give me the information. I’d love to get in touch with him. [Of course he wants an interview too.] What do you want me to say to him, if I do get in touch? [She looks down again, lets the blood from her finger drip onto the floor. Then, quietly, she extends her hand and waits for Nate to give her his own.] Gimme your hand. I’ll write it down, like school. It’s a secret. [She doesn’t want anyone else to know Ezra’s username, if only because she’s worried they might use it against him. Nate doesn’t seem the type.] Tell him that I love him. That I’ll keep looking for him. All I do is wait now. Ask him to come home. |