Now that we all get to enjoy the illusion of internet again (if you're reading this you smartasses, your programming is utter shit and I found five issues without even looking. Have a nice day.) I think it's high time somebody compiled some info on the hottest locations this city has to offer. Inspired by an article I read before we headed here telling me about places I had to visit before I die - these days the expiring is pretty much optional - I would like to introduce all of you to a formidable place that is absolutely suitable for endeavors such as showing your kids zombies are not the scariest fucking thing on this planet.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
Peter Pan Mini Golf
1207 Barton Springs Rd
Although the paint is chipping and everything is dusty you can still hear the screams of terrified children echoing through the grounds of this gem. It is not surprising that this place is virtually free of any kind of undead, even they avoid this place because it's creepy as can be.
Devised by a bunch of old people that hate kids and crafted by a group of blind amputees the figures scattered about are supposed to be inspired by Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland. Now I know that at least the latter is one single trip but that definitely does not explain why they had to make every single creature look like it's about to suck your soul right out of you.
the fuck?
I'll give it three severed heads out of four, mainly because of it's lack of infestation and because it's a place you can definitely go to if you want to be on your own. If you don't mind having evil, deformed demons for company. And there's the panicked screams of children.
Big, fat deduction for the lack of snacks.