LEGENDARY DRUG KINGPIN APPREHENDED; MYSTERIOUS VIGILANTE RESPONSIBLE
Brooklyn, NY:A dangerous drug kingpin by the name of Osiel Guzmán is behind bars tonight, and witnesses say it's all thanks to a mysterious hooded vigilante who has police baffled.
"Our witnesses are all telling us the same thing. This guy, whoever he is, is running around dressed like a green comic book character," Detective Horowitz told this reporter in an over-the-phone interview. "Die hard fans have been excitedly telling us he looks like that guy. The arrow one."
For those of our readers who aren't comic book fans, the famous superhero being referred to is that of Oliver Queen, most notably known in comic books and television shows as 'The Green Arrow.' He is a character made popular by DC, and has been known to fight with the Justice League. It used to be an absurd notion to think that superheroes are among us, especially ones ripped right out of the pages of comic books, but the past few years have brought light to a phenomenon known as reincarnation which makes this notion a little bit more believable.
"What it comes down to is this: we're thankful that whoever this guy is nabbed us Guzmán, but we're here to enforce the law, and vigilantism is still illegal in New York. We can't condone average citizens running around in masks and trying to catch bad guys. That just leads to chaos."
Detective Horowitz declined to comment on the state Guzmán was found in, but he did make sure to say that the capture of the notorious drug lord would lead to more arrests.