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Tweak says, "It's not slash. It's canon."

Pansy Parkinson (violatricolour) wrote in refreshrpg,
@ 2015-05-28 17:25:00

Entry tags:

1998-may, character: draco malfoy, character: pansy parkinson

Who: Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy
What: Teen pregnancy.
Where: An empty classroom.
When: May 28th, evening
Status/Rating: In Progress/ Dramatic

Writing to Draco had been surprisingly difficult; Pansy had known the day would come when it would be necessary to tell him, of course, but it had so far been easy to let it be a different day. After all, telling him too soon would make it obvious that she had been planning this- or, if not obvious, then at least suspicious. And the last thing that she wanted was for Draco to suspect that her condition was anything other than accidental.

Still, there came a point when putting it off any longer would be worse. The Malfoys knew. Her father knew. Sooner or later, others would know as well; and it was better if Draco believed he was, if not the first, than one of them. As angry as he was bound to be, it would be worse if she waited longer. Pansy knew that.

And she kept repeating it to drown out the tightness in her chest as she wrote the message asking him to meet. It wasn't fear. There was no reason for fear. She knew that.

Still.

The empty classroom was, at least, a private place; doubly so after she arrived early to cast a few wards to ensure it. Anyone who listened in would be flummoxed, of that she was sure. All there was to do, now, was wait. She briefly considered the big desk at the front that had at some point been the demesnes of a professor, before this particular room was abandoned and forgotten, but that was a little too pointed. In the end, she chose a spot near the back of the room, folded her hands, and willed herself to a calm appearance since it seemed that actual serenity was beyond her. She might not be able to fool herself, but she could fool Draco, surely.

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argentus
2015-05-28 10:45 pm UTC (link)

Draco was running late, but he felt like he was running late for everything at the moment. Or maybe, more accurately, that the future was hurtling towards him at breakneck speed: a future he'd previously barely given even a thought, and that now seemed populated entirely with problems. He'd been in the library, ostensibly studying, in reality trying to add to his alarmingly short list of options for after graduation. Internships were possible, but there were gaps. He needed something to step into immediately, and he could only think of one option...

The scramble to get here was almost a relief. He could even, as he raced to make it not too late, entertain a fleeting idea that Pansy might be summoning him for some repetition of the last time they'd been closeted away illicitly. Wildly unlikely, but he allowed himself a moment to enjoy the idea anyway.

And then shoved it away, and into the specified classroom, taking a moment to blink his eyes used to the dim interior while he closed the door extra-quietly behind him. "Parks?" he said, a moment before he found her, waiting for him. "Not too late am I?" But as he came towards her, flippant and fabricated excuses fell away as he took in the details of her stillness. He'd known her a long time, long enough to pick an edge to the way she was standing. A tightness in the grip of her hands together. A brightness to her eyes as she looked up at him.

Draco didn't know what it meant, precisely, but it tilted his tone towards wary and concerned as he added, "What's up?"

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violatricolour
2015-05-28 10:55 pm UTC (link)

The moment of truth: Pansy had prepared meticulously for this moment, the way she prepared for everything, always. Or thought she had: now that Draco was in front of her, looking hesitant and a little worried, everything she'd steeled herself to say seemed to flee before her like so much morning mist.

Still. It had to be done.

She squared her shoulders, managed a small, tight smile. "Not too late. You might want to sit down."

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argentus
2015-05-29 12:51 am UTC (link)

Did anything good ever come after invitations to sit down? Especially arranged like this, and paired with a smile like that. Tension twisted another knot in Draco's innards, even as he propped himself on a corner of a desk and let his satchel slump down beside him. He couldn't imagine what was coming next, though. There were too many things already complicating his life, and perhaps there was a fragment of his brain that wasn't too worried. How could things get worse, after all?

"All right," he noted, with a flash of a tiny smile of his own, more nervous than encouraging. "I'm sitting."

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violatricolour
2015-05-29 10:19 am UTC (link)

Pansy took a deep breath and, after a moment, sat herself. Putting the two of them on equal footing, at least initially, might make it less melodramatic.

Though who was she kidding? There was no way that her news wouldn't cause a fair amount of drama, however she told it.

"There's no easy way to say this," she said at last, holding Draco's gaze. "So I'll just say it. Draco, I think I'm pregnant."

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argentus
2015-05-29 10:43 am UTC (link)

"You..." Was as far as he got before words evaporated and he was just staring at her, mouth sagging open. Draco was glad he was sitting down, because he felt like the world had just dropped out from under him. She can't have said what you think she just said, part of his brain was yammering, but the rest of him knew he'd heard correctly. That's what went with this meeting, that look on her face. That's how things got worse.

There were stars dancing across his vision; Draco dragged a breath into his protesting lungs. "You think?" he managed to ask.

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	violatricolour 2015-05-29 12:22 pm UTC (link)
	Well. If nothing else, at least Draco hadn't started shrieking right away. True, he looked a little green- more than a little- but Pansy imagined that her reaction might have been similar had their positions been reversed. She bit her lip, looking down briefly. "All right, no. I don't think. I know. I'm pregnant." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

argentus
2015-05-29 12:35 pm UTC (link)

She knew. So there went the last scrap of maybe-there's-been-a-mistake and this was definitely... "Shit." Draco raised a hand to his face. Raised the other one, as though he could hide behind them. As though they could muffle his repeated, "Shit. I'm sorry. We should've. I should've." Should've made sure this couldn't happen. He'd tried, or the thought had crossed his mind, at least. He thought maybe he'd even managed to start asking - that night - about whether it was something to consider, but then she'd shifted against him, teeth catching at his earlobe, and rational thought had whited out of his brain.

Didn't make any difference now, of course.

"Right," he said, dropping his hands again. Trying to sound anything less than totally flat panicked, and suspecting the waver in his voice gave the game away. "All right," he repeated, a little more firmly. "What do you want to do?"

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violatricolour
2015-05-29 02:25 pm UTC (link)

"I'm keeping it," Pansy said, firm and without hesitation. There was no point in pretending uncertainty that she didn't feel, not about this part of it. "I can't - I'm not going to just throw my child away because it's inconvenient."

She'd said much the same to Gwen, and it was true; even if this had been the accident she was pretending, she would have done the same. Of that, at least, she as sure.

"You can be involved or not, as you choose," she added, glancing away again. "But I thought you should know."

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argentus
2015-06-01 01:10 am UTC (link)

Draco nodded numbly. "All right." There had seemed little point making his question we, little point pretending this wasn't her decision. Once upon a time, perhaps, but they'd hardly been their old selves for a while, even before things became... complicated. And there'd been no indication since that the complication had been anything more than a one-time ill-judged event. (Draco had looked for it. He hadn't been sure how he felt about it, but he'd looked.)

But he still felt like he needed to say, "I don't have a lot to offer right now." He glanced up from his hands to her face, and back down again just as quickly. That was as close as he'd come to telling anyone the full truth about just how much of a mess he was in at the moment. "You know that... well, anyway." He swallowed, hard, until he was sure the words wouldn't stick. "But you don't have to do this alone."

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violatricolour
2015-06-03 02:51 pm UTC (link)

For a moment, Pansy felt a pang of guilt. Draco looked small, more vulnerable than she'd ever seen him, and- no. He'd made his choices. He'd alienated himself from his oarents, he'd quarreled with her, he'd done it to himself. He'd made his choices, and she'd made hers, and she wouldn't be sorry for it.

She swallowed, nodded. "Thank you. Do you- look, I know something is up, I know you've been having...difficulty. I can tell. But we have to tell our parents, Draco. They will find out anyway. I won't be able to hide this from my Grandmotger, even if I wanted to, and she will tell your mother. I think we should do that first. Together, if you want, or...whatever you want. But it would be better if we told, rather than letting them find out through someone else."

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argentus
2015-06-04 12:00 am UTC (link)

Merlin, his parents. For a moment, Draco had a searing flash of panic - his parents were going to kill him. And then his overall situation resettled on his shoulders like a shroud, and he had to swallow hard against the bubble of hysteria welling up in his throat. What were they going to do? Kick him out? Cut him off? Stop talking to him?

Done and dusted.

A colder, more calculating whisper from the back of his mind noted that perhaps they might be more amenable if he approached them with news of a child. An heir. But he flinched to imagine the sorts of leashes they'd try to tie around him anew with this. Responsibility, Draco. Respectability, Draco. Do it out way, Draco.

Do nothing, Draco.

Perhaps they had a point. Or perhaps it mattered even more what shape the world was when a child - his child - was about to enter it. He couldn't just sit back and play lord of the manor and pretend everything was fine. He just couldn't.

Draco shook his head. "They've--" His voice was thick; he paused, cleared his throat. Better. "They've made it quite clear they aren't interested in me and what I do. I don't see that this is any of their business at all."

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