Max Davies (familylaw) wrote in reduxpitch, @ 2016-12-13 13:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, character: max davies, character: terence higgs |
who ? max davies and terence higgs
when ? tuesday lunchtime, 13th december
where ? max’s office
what ? equal distribution
status ? complete
When Higgs had taken coffee for Siobhan on Saturday morning, he had mostly been joking about how he needed to take one to Max, too, to make it fair. But then, afterwards, the more Higgs thought about it, the more he felt like he should. Or perhaps wanted to. That bit he wasn’t particularly clear on, but nonetheless, come Tuesday lunchtime, Higgs got his mum to sneak out two cups of coffee for him from the Department of Mystery. In addition, Higgs also picked up some light lunch as he headed to the building Max worked at. With the coffee and food charmed to stay warm, Higgs didn’t worry when it took him a little while to figure out where exactly Max’s office was. The secretaries at the law practice were as nice as they had been in St Mungo’s, assuring Higgs that Max had no outstanding appointments, so Higgs would be free to see him.
Perhaps a little disappointingly, no one introduced Higgs as Max’s boyfriend, simply letting him into the office. It was a much nicer looking office than the one Siobhan had been in, which Higgs supposed was hardly surprising. Law firms usually made more money than free hospitals. “Brought you coffee,” Higgs informed Max with a grin, lifting the two cups he was holding in a cupholder. “And lunch,” he added raising the takeaway bag in his other hand. “I hope you like fancy salads,” Higgs told Max taking a seat across from him at the desk, putting the food down and then handing Max one of the coffee cups.
--
Max was already drinking a cup of coffee - his third, he thought - when Celeste showed Higgs into his office. Max glared for a moment before remembering they weren’t alone. “Thank you, Celeste,” he said politely. “You may go.” She scurried off, forgetting to close the door behind her. Max did it with a wave of his wand. She was young, and her parents had been huge Celestina Warbeck fans, and she was incapable of remembering how Max took his coffee, but she was remarkably good at keeping a calendar organised.
“What are you doing here?” Max hadn’t slept much, hence the need for what was essentially an all-day caffeine buzz. Things with Siobhan were still up in the air. She hadn’t left him, yet. The wedding was still on, but neither of them wanted to trap the other in a marriage they might come to regret. And the second-to-last person Max wanted to talk to, about Siobhan or about anything, was Terence Higgs. He’d done this. He’d been the one, exactly as Max had feared, to put the idea into Siobhan’s head. “I’d really prefer it if you left.” Surely, now, he didn’t need to endure Higgs’ company anymore? That had to be the one silver lining to the ceiling of storm clouds.
--
When on Saturday Higgs had spoken to Siobhan, encouraging her to talk to Max, she had said she’d owl Higgs. That owl was yet to come so Higgs had almost assumed that she hadn’t spoken with Max. Whilst it was hard to describe the two men as getting on, Higgs didn’t think that Max would outright throw him out despite his lunch offerings. Well, clearly he hadn’t thought so, or he wouldn’t have come. But for Max to start with ‘I rather you left’ was, to Higgs, quite indicative that perhaps Siobhan had told him what they’d spoken about. And Higgs felt terrible. He truly did. At no point has his intention ever been to make things in any way difficult between Max and Siobhan.
“I’m sorry,” Higgs said. “Give me five minute,” he told the other man with a small wave of his hand, then shaking his head. “Siobhan asked me what I might’ve said to you in school that has made you dislike you so much and--” Well, there was no good way of owning up to this. “I don’t remember,” Higgs told Max bluntly. “I know we didn’t get on in school, but I honestly don’t know what I might’ve said to you to make you dislike me so much. I realise that if it’s stayed with you, me telling you and genuinely don’t recall? That’s not great,” and had, really, been a part of why Higgs had asked Pippa if she thought he’d bullied Max. Pippa had assured Higgs that he’d never bullied anyone, and yet, Max clearly disliked him over something.
Taking a sip of his coffee, Higgs paused ever so briefly. “I told Siobhan might’ve been the reason. Pippa called it ‘best friend jealousy’,” Higgs offered with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I didn’t intend to upset Siobhan, Max,” he said. “And I never intended for that upset to carry on between you,” except Higgs wasn’t sure how it wouldn’t have when Siobhan had told him she wasn’t sure Max was in love with her. “And for that, for all of it, I truly am sorry.”
--
No matter how genuine Higgs’ apology, and Max really didn’t care to judge one way or the other, it didn’t change anything. Higgs had told Siobhan, and now all Max’s long-cherished plans were on the verge of collapse. “It didn’t occur to you,” he said, in what was very much statement rather than question, “that our relationship was none of your business. That it might be private, and better off without your interference.” Or perhaps it had occurred to Higgs, and this was what he wanted.
Max’s temper flared, and he was glad he had silencing spells on the office walls as a matter of course. “I was prepared to move past it,” he snapped. He had been, to at least try, for Siobhan’s sake. “What right did you have to dig it all up, if you couldn’t even remember?” One stupid, teenage lapse of discretion and Max risked losing everything. It was - He had to put his coffee down so Higgs wouldn’t see it shake. Whatever Higgs’ intentions had been, they made no difference now.
It occurred to Max then that Higgs could still tell other people. He and Siobhan hadn’t talked about that, about whether she would want - need - to tell anyone. Her friends. Her cousins. Merlin, Marcus. If Higgs wanted to ruin Max, he could, so easily. All he’d need to do was tell his father. It would get back to Maximilian, and that would be that. “Who else are you going to tell?” The sensible thing to do would be to be polite, to be nice, to ask Higgs not to make this worse, if he truly hadn’t intended to hurt anyone. Max, for once, didn’t want to do the sensible thing.
--
“I didn’t--” Higgs started and then stopped, tapping his fingers almost aggressively against the armrest of the chair he was in. He hadn’t interfered. Fuck, Higgs wasn’t even all that sure in what he had said to interfere. Except, perhaps that wasn’t quite true. Higgs had thought over that conversation with Siobhan multiple times since Saturday morning. He felt terrible about what had happened, because she’d been so upset. And yeah, okay, Higgs did logically realise that it wasn’t actually his fault, but Siobhan had almost cried and that had been because of Higgs, whether in the first instance or not, didn’t really make a difference. So yeah. Higgs had a good idea at what it might be he had done.
Very consciously slowing the tapping of his fingers to a slower pace, Higgs gave a deep sigh. “I made an offhanded comment, Max,” Higgs said almost too calmly. “I appreciate that it’s easy to be angry at me, partially perhaps deservedly,” he added, watching Max carefully. “But nothing I said, I thought would--” There Higgs paused again, shaking his head, wondering if the next word he planned to say would just seem stupid to Max. “Matter,” he said out loud anyway, giving a shake of his head. Higgs honestly didn’t think he could possibly be expected to know that making and offhanded remark about how he had thought Max had had a crush on Marcus more than ten years ago would be important in anyway. Higgs hadn’t even thought it was true, much less important.
When Max asked who else Higgs intended to tell, Higgs frowned at him, taking a moment to even realise what the question meant. “I’m not going to tell anyone anything, Max,” Higgs said managing to sound about as confused as he felt about the question, before giving another shake of his head as if that would somehow make things seem more sensical. “Christ, Max, I don’t care who you want to fuck,” Higgs sighed with such tiredness it almost surprised himself. “I’m sorry if I accidentally opened a can of worms, but I think it needed opening,” he concluded honestly. Higgs would’ve rather left Max and Siobhan being happy, being in love and to be married and live a fairy tale life or whatever it was that Max imagined they had been doing. But the truth was that Higgs didn’t think that had ever been what they were doing.
--
Higgs being calm, and right, and reasonable was not helping Max feel any better about the situation. If anything, it just wound him up more. He was so used to being the calm one, so used to being right and having everything under control that the unflattering comparison with Higgs made him want to lash out. “An offhand comment about a relationship that is none of your business,” he insisted. Higgs had known Siobhan for what, a couple of months? Why had they even been talking about this? Max barely discussed his relationship with his closest relatives, let alone someone he’d met for the first time a handful of weeks ago. “Of course it mattered!” Even if it had been just that crush ten years ago, as far as Max was concerned that would have been valid grounds for Siobhan to rethink their relationship. (Logically, he knew she wouldn’t have done, because Siobhan was much more accepting than Max was, but that wasn’t the point.)
Max’s hand was locked around his wand and he was about to launch into a rant about how Higgs had already proved himself untrustworthy by telling Siobhan, but Higgs crack about not caring who he fucked stopped him cold. “I don’t-” he spat. He had no obligation to Higgs, no duty to tell him anything approaching the truth. He didn’t want to fuck anyone. He didn’t even want to think about fucking anyone, he just wanted Siobhan back, his uncomplicated, perfect life. “You don’t understand anything.”
--
Higgs frowned when Max said that it had been an offhand comment about a relationship that was none of Higgs’ problem. “What the fuck do you think I said?” Higgs asked almost confused. The way he was quite sure the whole thing had played out had been that Siobhan had asked Higgs why Max might not like him from back in school. Higgs had then told her how he’d been ‘best friend jealous’, because frankly, Pippa was probably right because it was Pippa and she was very good at being right. And yes, Higgs had said that he might’ve at the time thought Max had a crush on Marcus, but that hardly had been said to imply that Max had.
The way Max’s hand locked around his wand didn’t escape Higgs, but mostly because as a hitwizard he had to pay a great deal of attention to people’s use or potential use of magic when aimed at him. He liked to think that Max wasn’t about to curse him, but it was a bit hard to tell just this second. Then, when Max told Higgs he didn’t understand anything, Higgs gave a frustrated sigh. “No,” he agreed. “I really don’t,” because all of this was just confusing. Shifting in his chair, Higgs resisted running his hand over his face, if only because he wasn’t sure he could currently afford to take his eyes off of Max.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Max,” Higgs said finally, feeling like there wasn’t actually anything he could say to make Max look less... Higgs had no idea. At least he looked less crestfallen and borderline tearful that Siobhan had, Higgs wasn’t sure he could cope with having made both of them so sad. “I’m sorry for whatever I might’ve accidentally caused but--” There Higgs sighed again. “Fuck,” he swore almost under his breath. There just wasn’t anything good or helpful that Higgs could say. “It’s so obvious that you love Siobhan,” Higgs finally settled on. “She should not be in a position where she questions that,” and that, to Higgs, seemed far more important than anything else. Siobhan had asked him if he’d marry someone he didn’t love and it had broken Higgs’ heart a little. Whatever Higgs might’ve done, whatever Max might think Higgs had done, if it ended with Siobhan not feeling bad? Higgs felt it was probably worth it.
--
Max hadn’t expected Higgs to admit to not understanding, and Higgs sitting there sighing at him wasn’t doing much to feed Max’s temper. “Then why are you here?” Max didn’t understand that. Higgs shouldn’t be here. He should be off with Marcus, laughing about the hell he’d raised, or swooping in on Siobhan. He shouldn’t be here. Especially if he wasn’t going to humiliate Max further. Higgs couldn’t fix this, even if he’d wanted to, and Max didn’t believe he’d want to. He scowled at the untouched lunch sitting on Higgs’ side of his desk. None of it made sense, and Max didn’t like things that didn’t make sense.
He finally looked up at Higgs, still glaring but at least in the right direction rather than at the wall over Higgs’ head. He made an impatient gesture with his wandless hand. If Siobhan was questioning Max’s love for her, Higgs had been the one to cause it! “What position she’s in is none of your business,” he said. “She’s my -” And then he had to stop. He wasn’t sure what Siobhan was anymore. His fiancee? His girlfriend? His friend? They’d both said they didn’t want to leave, but even more obviously they’d both had doubts and Max was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
--
“I brought you lunch,” Higgs replied like it was obvious. He had, in fact, brought Max lunch. Given, that lunch sat abandoned on the table as Higgs doubted it was a particularly appropriate conversation for eating, and also it was a bit hard to remember that he had actually been hungry. “I took Siobhan coffee, I thought it’d be only fair to bring you some, too,” Higgs explained honestly. Albeit, he was genuinely unsure at this point whether this was a better or a worse conversation than the one he’d had with Siobhan on Saturday morning, but at least Siobhan hadn’t spent most of it looking like she was slowly in her head going through all the different curses she knew and could throw at Higgs.
Max’s words made Higgs briefly feel like he had thrown one of those curses at him. Whatever Max was or did or didn’t do, Higgs really cared very little for. He had no idea if this was over Max perhaps being gay, and quite frankly, Higgs had no idea how he’d even address that if it was. But the way Max stopped before he could call Siobhan his fiance, truly pained Higgs, because he’d done that. Albeit however much as a messenger and/or by proxy, he still felt responsibility to both of them for somehow... messing up.
Wetting his lips, Higgs shook his head. “It is my business when she fucking cries at me, Max,” he said almost too bluntly.
--
Neither the fact that Higgs had brought lunch nor the fact that he’d also taken Siobhan lunch really explained anything, as far as Max was concerned. “Fair,” Max repeated, his tone indicating just how ridiculous an explanation he thought that was. None of this was fair. He’d been clumsily attacked with a magical artefact and now his life was falling apart. What had he ever done to deserve this? More urgently, what had Siobhan ever done? “We’re not friends,” he said, as if Higgs might still need to have that explained to him. “You’re not welcome to bring me lunch.” He couldn’t imagine why Higgs would ever have thought that would be a good idea.
He pushed away from his desk, but managed not to get up and loom over Higgs. It would only be impressive until Higgs stood up as well, and Max hadn’t forgotten that Higgs was a hitwizard. “Of course she cried!” he snapped. “You -” Max sputtered. It was still next to impossible for him to actually get the words out, the ones at the crux of his whole mess. “What did you expect, after what you told her?” Max’s memories of Siobhan crying in his lap were all too fresh.
--
No, Higgs didn’t imagine that they were friends. It wasn’t because of his lack of trying, but truly, Higgs wasn’t sure that even if Max had given a shit about it before he would do now. Trying, clearly, was not Higgs’ strong suit. He had no idea how else he could get across that he was sorry, that he had never intended to cause any damage to whatever Max and Siobhan had. How could he when Higgs hadn’t even known there was any chance of causing damage? He’d presumed that they were... happy. They looked happy. They acted happy. Except happy people didn’t really question whether the person they were going to marry actually wanted to marry them. As much as Higgs had clearly fucked up, he did strongly feel that these were things that Max and Siobhan needed to address. Even if he hadn’t know about them.
Then, when Max asked what Higgs had expected, he gave Max an almost comically confused look. “I didn’t fucking expect anything to happen,” he replied, managing to sound about as confused as he looked. Then with another frustrated sigh, which Higgs felt was becoming representative of this whole conversation, Higgs did run his hand over his face, before giving Max a look. “I told Siobhan that when I was sixteen, I thought you might’ve had a crush on Marcus. I didn’t think I was right, hell, even if I was, I didn’t think it’d fucking matter. You’re engaged to be married, why should it matter?” Because Higgs truly didn’t get it.
“Fuck,” he swore again shaking his head. “I have probably fucked hell of a lot more men in the past ten years than you have, Max, and my wife was aware of that,” which was the truth. Higgs had slept with men before he’d met Alicia, she’d known he had. Hell, he’d fucked her brother. Just because he found men attractive hadn’t meant he hadn’t been in love with Alicia. It wasn’t ridiculous for him to have presumed that perhaps Max was in the same position and that was if Higgs, at sixteen, had even been right about Max’s crush on Marcus (though, perhaps he now had an answer to that).
--
Max’s jaw clenched and he did seriously consider using one of those curses, or at least banishing Higgs from his office. Sex was something he barely talked about with Siobhan, and certainly never wanted to talk about with anyone else. “I haven’t,” he ground out, compelled to defend himself from yet more of Higgs’ accusations. “I don’t - I’m not -” His muscles were so tight it hurt and all he wanted was to wake up up from this days-long nightmare. “I’m not like you,” he eventually spat. His mind flashed back to James, but he pushed the thought away. He’d been drunk.
“What you and your wife choose to do doesn’t give you the right to tell Siobhan anything.” Even if Max had been in exactly Higgs’ situation, it was still possible - and, to Max, likely - that a woman would be uncomfortable with that, that she would find it a valid reason to call off an engagement. And pureblood society, at least the circles Max moved in, wouldn’t even find it that odd. Max loosened his grip on his wand, discarding it on the desk so he could shake out aching fingers. Shouting at Higgs wasn’t making Max feel better. If anything, the anger was worse than the distracted numbness of his coffee and his contracts.
--
Frankly, Higgs truly didn’t even want to ask Max what the fuck he meant by stating that he wasn’t like Higgs. There was a horrible, metallic taste, at the back of Higgs’ throat that made him think that he knew what Max meant. Higgs had spent a great deal of time working in an environment were not only disapproved of, it was strongly unacceptable. He’d seen plenty of people try to hide so hard and... well, nothing good ever really came out of that. But Higgs couldn’t, nor did he wanted to, force Max to admit something he didn’t want to. None of this had been what Higgs had intended, if he had intended anything at all.
“This conversation’s pointless,” Higgs finally decided. “There’s nothing I can say that will make you not blame me,” he said perhaps more for his own benefit than Max’s. Standing up, Higgs shrugged. “If being angry at me makes you feel better? Well,” there Higgs shrugged again. He honestly felt terrible for the whole situation, so if somehow Max actually felt better by blaming Higgs? That was fine. At least Higgs felt he might be helping with something, even if it was so fucking low on the scale of things that needed fixing that they might as well have pretended it wasn’t there at all.
Taking his coffee cup, Higgs glanced over at the lunch he’d brought Max, the one Max hadn’t wanted, because Higgs wasn’t welcome to bring Max lunch. “Just bin the fucking food, I don’t even like salad,” which was a bit of exaggeration, but Higgs certainly hadn’t picked it because he preferred it. “It just seemed like the sort of thing you might like,” he commented, before giving another sigh, hoping for it to be the last one in this conversation. “I’ll make sure not to bring you lunch again,” Higgs half-promised, since this had gone terribly. Still, he thought perhaps it was actually better than his coffee-bringing to Siobhan.
--
Higgs was right, there was nothing he could say that would stop Max from blaming him, because this was all clearly his fault. Things had been fine before, and would have continued to be fine if Higgs hadn’t butted into their lives with his accusations. Max pushed the knowledge that they were true accusations aside, refusing to think about it. If he could just get rid of Higgs, maybe things would be okay, maybe things would go back to where they were.
He said nothing, content to let Higgs have the last word because there was just nothing else to say. They hadn’t fixed anything. Being angry at Higgs didn’t make any difference to what was going on between Max and Siobhan. If anything, she’d be annoyed that Max hadn’t been nicer. Her mild annoyance at his social faux pas was so far beneath the disgust and betrayal Max was still waiting for that he could almost have laughed. Instead, he waved a hand at the door, opening it wandlessly.
The food he more carefully discarded, not bothering to stand and show Higgs out. He could find his own way. Max had coffee and contracts and mind-filling legal jargon to get back to.
--