Max's stomach felt like it was tying itself into one giant knot. "We will be," he said, willing himself to believe it. "You matter to me so much more than -" his throat was dry as he forced himself to continue - "than sex." Given the choice, Max would, Max had picked Siobhan. It hadn't exactly been a difficult choice, when any desire for sex was something he squashed down almost as naturally as breathing. He didn't want - that. Not really. His body might, sometimes. When he'd been younger. He could control it now. He wanted Siobhan, the life they'd pictured, the wedding, the marriage, the kids, all of it.
And he knew, deep down, that wasn't fair on her. Much as he would really prefer not to think about it, Siobhan was - well, normal. She wanted sex with her fiance. She was beautiful, desirable, loveable. She deserved someone who wanted to give her everything. His hand in hers tightened, afraid if he let go, she'd vanish. He'd never been very good at being selfless. "I love you." He couldn't lose her, he just couldn't, but he didn't know how to hold his world together right now.