potter; EVAN (potterlings) wrote in reduxpitch, @ 2016-09-29 10:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, character: elise kirke, character: evan potter, retired character: andrew kirke |
who ? evan potter, andrew and elise kirke
when ? day time, thursday, 29th september
where ? cambridge university
what ? awkward realisations
status ? complete
Evan had told Elise to meet them at Merlin’s so they could all walk to the Fayre. Being Muggle it was on a different campus, but Evan figured that if Elise wasn’t in for introductory lectures and/or registration, it was still easier to apparate or floo in to Merlin’s than anywhere else. Rather than apparating, Evan had taken Andrew on the train. It only took an hour to go from King’s Cross to Cambridge and Evan liked the train ride. It was also nice to show Andrew the route Evan usually took into Cambridge for his own classes.
The walk from the station to the campus wasn’t terribly long, probably only about twenty minutes and Evan kept pointing at things and telling Andrew about it. They had walked past the bush in which Evan had been sick after the exams when Andrew had come to rescue him and Evan had assured him it was shared and therefore beautiful memories. He’d held Andrew’s hand for most of the walk and was quite happy with it too.
Finding Elise turned out to be reasonably easy as Evan spotted her as soon as they approached the entrance to the main building. “Hey!” Evan called out, tugging on Andrew’s hand to drag him in the right direction. “Elise, meet Andrew, he’s a drummer,” he said once they were close enough for a conversation. “Andrew, meet Elise, she’s just out of Hogwarts,” Evan introduced before turning back to Elise. “How’s your first week? Enjoying all the fire safety talks?” Evan remembered there being a lot of fire safety talks, even though there probably hadn’t been more than two.
--
Elise was very grateful of Evan offering to show her around today. While the sessions and tours had been nice this week, she was looking forward to actually being shown around by someone who knew her and she could actually have real conversations with. Evan had been here for a while and knew the real fun things to do and the good places for schooling. Plus as a new student it was nice to have an upperclassmen she felt comfortable to ask questions to instead of the overly-chipper guides she had been dealing with all week.
After attending a lecture she made her way to where she figured it would be easiest to see her whenever Evan and this mysterious Andrew person arrived on campus. After Evan had told her about him she had thought back to see if she could remember any Andrew and she didn’t. That wasn’t a big problem, she figured she could get along with anyone Evan knew for an afternoon no problem.
Hearing him call out she turned to the sound of the voice and gave a little wave when she saw him. Adjusting her jacket that was hung on her bag she walked over to meet them smiling. It was good to see him after this time of him being out of Hogwarts. At the introductions. Elise turned her gaze to the other man and almost felt her heart stop. Okay she didn’t personally know this Andrew but she knew who this Andrew most certainly was. Quake was a popular band and with Byron also being in the music business she knew they ran in overlapping circles. Also due to that fact she didn’t want to embarrass her brother by acting like a total fan girl.
Running a hand through her hair she let out a little laugh before sticking her hand out to shake, “Wow, hi! Really amazing to meet you.” That wasn’t that crazy was it? Before she was able to explain about Byron and everything Evan was already asking more questions. “Oh yes, everything has been quite informative. I’m not sure how much of it I’m going to remember in a month or so but I suppose anything I forget I can come bug you about yes?”
--
Andrew was looking forward to the day. Evan had made Fresher’s Fayre sound like a lot of fun, and Andrew had been wanting to get to Evan’s university campus for ages, ever since he mentioned finding a taxidermied squirrel on a scooter. Having Evan to describe everything to him, and remind him of the time Andrew had rescued him from the Quake Shrine only improved things. He was curious to meet Elise as well, because he hadn’t met too many of Evan’s friends from Hogwarts, and having discovered that Evan had been Head Boy he was wondering what else he didn’t know.
He released Evan’s hand so he could shake Elise’ in greeting. “Hi,” he said. “I love your jacket.” He had one similar - though cut for a man, rather than a woman - at home. Andrew grinned at her. He guessed that she recognised him, but she was playing it far cooler than Caitlin had. He turned to Evan. “Fire safety talks?” he asked, slipping his hand back into Evan’s. “You poor thing. How did you survive?” Evan being told he had to be safe about fire was an amusing image.
--
Evan was never very sure whether he should be insulted when people told Andrew how amazing it was to meet him. No one ever told Evan that it was amazing to meet him. Then again, Evan did think that Andrew was pretty amazing, more amazing than Evan, so maybe other people being excited to meet him was fair. Evan did roll his eyes at Andrew’s teasing about fire safety talks. “I am very safe with fire,” he told Andrew seriously. Evan was. He did love fire and had some pyromaniac tendencies, but that didn’t mean he was unsafe about fire. “Though, those talks are really boring, they’re mostly about assembly points in case of a fire,” Evan explained as they began walking towards where the Fayre was taking place.
“Of course you can come to me with any questions,” Evan assured Elise. “I’ll try to help and if I can’t I can always introduce you to other people,” Evan might not have had a lot of friends at uni, but he did know a lot of people. Giving Andrew’s hand a squeeze, Evan smiled at Elise. “It’s really exciting,” he informed her. “It’s not much like Hogwarts, which makes it more exciting, I think,” he added, leading them down small side streets that would get them to the Fayre quicker.
--
When Andrew complimented her jacket she looked at it and smiled, “Thanks it is probably my favorite piece of clothing I own.” She wasn’t lying, she had it for a few years now and she brought it with her almost everywhere. While right now it may not have been necessary to have a coat, it was more like a safety blanket for her today. It was a new place and at least having her jacket with her was a familiar sense of comfort that she was grateful for.
As they started to walk, Elise trying to remember the route Evan was taking as it appeared much quicker than the official way they had been told, she listened to the couple’s conversation. Well she at least assumed they were a couple, was that rude of her to assume? Elise wasn’t one to hang around fire so she hadn’t been too concerned about the talks, except for how to get the hell away from it when it showed up.
“I think that’s part of why I’m so excited,” she replied truthfully, “While Hogwarts was great in it’s own ways, this place just has a much wider variety of people to me and things to experience. Hogwarts was so far away from everything and we were so secluded from the rest of the world and here it is much more available. I highly doubt I’ll regret this decision, plus not having to share a bedroom with four other girls is quite exciting.” While she enjoyed having a group of girls readily available if she needed help, it also got frustrating. Now she only had to share a living space with Byron which she consider a great improvement. Deciding to change the topic she looked between the two men and smiled, “How did you two meet?”
--
“I know,” Andrew agreed, when Evan said he was very safe with fire. “I’ve heard all about your plans.” Andrew imagined that Evan’s plans pre-dated the fire safety talks, which would only have made them more boring. “Safer than me, and no one’s ever given me a fire safety talk.” He frowned, shaking his head. “No, that’s not true. We used to get them all the time on Lerwick.” A town didn’t host a huge fire-based festival without giving its school-kids a fire safety talk. “But I’ve never had one in the magical world.”
He listened as Evan and Elise compared the merits of Hogwarts and Cambridge. “It certainly sounds more exciting,” he said. “I’m glad I finally get to look around.” He had been, so far, disappointed by the lack of taxidermied anything - but he had high hopes for the fayre. “Hogwarts never had a cocktail society.”
Andrew glanced around, making sure no one was close enough to overhear as he answered Elise’s question. “I dislocated Evan’s shoulder,” he said, “and so he broke my nose.” It hadn’t been quite that way round, but it was more amusing as a story to tell. “We were playing quidditch at the time. Or, Evan was playing quidditch and I was trying to stay on my broom.”
--
Evan gave a small laugh when Andrew said how he was excited to get to look around the campuses, and how Hogwarts never had a cocktail society. “I’m quite sure Daisy and I were part of a cocktail society at Hogwarts,” Evan commented teasingly. Mostly, him and Daisy had been a part of ‘different ways to smuggle booze into the school’ during their Sixth and Seventh year. But Evan had managed to make some shockingly awful cocktails, so that kind of counted, he figured.
At Andrew’s explanation of how they had met, with Evan breaking Andrew’s nose and Andrew dislocating his shoulder, Evan nodded energetically. “All very romantic,” he told Elise seriously. As far as ‘how did you meet’ stories went, Evan felt that their was at least interesting. Given, there had then been a party and dancing and handjobs, but Evan doubted that was a particularly appropriate thing to bring up in public.
As they got to the Fayre the place was packed with people and stalls and colours and sounds. “Don’t get lost,” he told both Andrew and Elise. “Even if there’s cake,” Evan added. There was going to be lots of cake, most societies tried to bribe people into joining them by providing cake and sweets and sometimes there were stickers. “Ooh, balloons,” Evan said spotting a stall for... a balloon society? Was that a thing? If it was, Evan felt that Ball Soc and Cock Soc needed to start throwing parties together.
--
Elise covered her mouth in horror at his explanation but soon it turned into it covering up at laugh at their story. She could only imagine what that game looked like if those sort of injuries occurred. “I never played Quidditch in school so I’m sure I would be just trying to stay on my broom as well,” she said to Andrew. It was true, as much as she loved watching and following Quidditch, she was absolute shit at playing it and had come to embrace that fact in her life.
Looking around the Fayre she felt silly for not imagine something so big. Sure Evan had made it seem like a big deal but she still hadn’t expected all this, well everything to be honest. She instantly felt an adrenaline spike in her system as she looked around at all the stalls and people to talk to. Elise had a good feeling she would make some new connections today that would help her out in school.
Hearing Evan mention cake she immediately started looking around for cake, “I love cake!” she proclaimed excitedly, although she had a feeling it wouldn’t even come close to competing with her father’s. That could just be a certain amount of bias speaking though. Elise followed them over to the balloon stall, her head going back and forth between all the different setups. There was a maths one, next to sci-fi, next to a leadership group and oh Merlin all the variety. “Are you only part of the debate group, Evan?”
--
“I wanted to,” Andrew said to Elise, “but there was never really a space on the Gryffindor team.” He’d been exaggerating slightly - he had liked flying just fine in his first year, so staying on his broom hadn’t really been the problem. No, it was all the balls flying in the direction of his face that had troubled him most. That and trying to coordinate with other people when all the flying he’d done before that game had been entirely on his own. “Now I can see it was definitely for the best. I was busy with choir and music anyway.”
As they walked through the hall trying to take everything in, reached out to press a sticker on Andrew’s chest. “CUBE,” Andrew read upside down, then raised an eyebrow at Evan. “What even is that?” The sticker gave no other information, just the word and then an image of - unsurprinsgly - a cube. Andrew half-turned to look back at the stall they’d already passed, but couldn’t tell much of anything from the group of students standing in front of the table.
Turning his attention back to the stalls in front of him, Andrew was disappointed by the lack of cake. “Cake is excellent,” he agreed. “Oh, are those flying saucers?” he added, spotting the paper-and-sherbet sweets in a jar on one of the tables. “The sci-fi society,” he read. “That’s pretty clever.”
--
“No, just debating,” Evan replied when Elise asked if he was part of any other societies. “I don’t have enough of an attention span for more than one society plus studying,” he offered with a small shrug before frowning at the sticker that Andrew stuck on him. Evan, like Andrew, didn’t actually have any idea what CUBE was and they were already moving away, along with the stream of people, for him to find out. “I have a few study groups,” Evan explained as they walked. “Though, most of them I just get annoyed with and abandon,” he admitted. People were irksome and Evan was not a man of great patience. Or any, really.
Evan did have to agree that the sci-fi society using flying saucers for their sweets was, in fact, clever. And he’d been about to say as much but then he got distracted by a stall selling Cambridge Uni hoodies and offering to print your name on the back right here. “Hoodies!” Evan announced looking at both Elise and Andrew and then back at the stall. “We should get you one, Elise, so everyone knows you’re pretentious as fuck for attending Cambridge without needing to talk to you,” he informed the girl already walking towards the stall. “And one for you, too, Andrew, since you’re here,” Evan added teasingly.
Once they got to the stall, Evan looked at the list of prices they had for different designs and colours and... stuff. There was a lot of stuff. “Oh, that’s convenient,” Evan said tapping a finger against the paper where it said that it cost £5 to enter a surname in the system but then only £20 per hoodie if they had the same name on them. “Can we get one green and one red?” Evan asked the woman behind the counter. “With ‘Kirke’ on both of them,” he added before proceeding to spell it out.
--
“I probably wouldn’t stick with a study group very long either, more than likely I would get bored of actually trying to sit around and study with a group of people, instead of something fun,” Elise replied truthfully. If she was in a group of people she was going to want to go get food or play games or something that was much more entertaining than doing schoolwork. She couldn’t help but laugh though when Andrew had a random sticker stuck onto his clothing. “Well whatever CUBE is they must have thought you were good enough to be a part of it, so that should make you feel good?” Unless it was a lame and no fun society, then that would just be embarrassing.
At Evan’s excitement over the hoodies, she laughed and nodded, quickly following him over to the stall that was selling them. It all looked very cool and she was excited to have her first piece of uni merch. It was becoming very official very fast and she was loving it. “Well you know I do wear my pride on my sleeve,” she joked with an over-exaggerated flip of her hair, “need to make it easy for all the important people to know they need to talk to me.”
While Evan ordered Elise stood behind him near Andrew so that she was out of the way of anyone else in line. She heard him order two with the same last name and she was confused. “Evan no wait -,” then she stopped and turned to Andrew, “Wait is your last name Kirke as well? That’s - uh- cool.” She had the same last name as a rockstar, that was pretty damn cool. Did this mean she was related to another rockstar as well? “Do you know a Douglas Kirke? He’s my father.” Maybe they were distant cousins or something?!
--
“I can pretend to be pretentious as fuck,” Andrew said, not at all unhappy about this plan. He’d like having a Cambridge Uni hoodie, especially if he was going to be doing more visiting Evan on campus. He was curious about the societies Evan had said allowed associate members, not that he really needed more things to fill his time with, but maybe one of them was a choir. Andrew hadn’t been in a choir since school, and since he didn’t sing with Quake, he missed it. Or maybe there’d be a musicals group. If it was mostly muggle, he wouldn’t even have to worry about being known. He laughed his agreement with Elise when she said he must be good enough to join Cube. “I hope it’s something good, then,” he said, “and not the ‘drawing squares club’.”
He’d been about to ask why it was convenient that they were cheaper if you used the same name when Elise beat him to it and asked if his name was Kirke as well. He frowned, because Evan hadn’t mentioned that, but he supposed Kirke was a common enough name, especially in Scotland. He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. Is your family-” They’d both started speaking at the same time, and Andrew stopped to let Elise finish. Stopped just in time to hear ‘Douglas Kirke’ and ‘father’.
Andrew’s fingers loosened their clasp on Evan’s, but he didn’t let go entirely. Douglas Kirke couldn’t be that uncommon a name. Kirke was common enough, and so was Douglas, surely? The justification might have been enough, if Andrew had been secure in the knowledge his dad was safely at home with his mum. As it was, though, Andrew had always known it was possible his dad had remarried. Known it was possible, but never expected to come face-to-face with proof.
He looked at Elise’s face, scanning her features, desperate to find nothing familiar in them, to find proof that this wasn’t, in fact, his father’s newer child. But Andrew could barely even be certain of his dad’s features, let alone know whether he was seeing younger, more feminine versions of them. Elise was too old, surely? Andrew had seen his dad when he was 11, and he hadn’t mentioned having more kids. So, it must be a coincidence.
“No,” he lied, his fingers twisting out of Evan’s completely as he reached up to check his hair was in pace. “Afraid not.”
--
Evan had been about to tell them both off for being weird about having the same surname, because plenty of people had the same surname and it was hardly very important or surprising. But then Elise asked if Andrew knew a Douglas Kirke, which would perhaps indicate if they were related and Evan supposed that made more sense. He had only ever known Elise and Andrew have the surname Kirke, so maybe it was more unusual in the magical world? The community was, after all, much smaller.
And then Andrew let go of Evan’s hand and Evan frowned, telling the girl behind the table to hold on for a minute with the hoodies, before turning around to look at both Andrew and Elise. Andrew, Evan had come to realise, was a ridiculously bad liar. What Evan didn’t understand was why he was lying. “Andrew doesn’t know a Douglas Kirke,” Evan said frowning at Andrew despite speaking to Elise, almost as if he could frown his way into Andrew’s mind and figure out what he was thinking. “Because Andrew’s dad left when he was little,” it was probably not the sort of thing you told strangers but Evan felt it was kind of required right now. Turning to look at Elise, Evan gave a small sigh. “Andrew’s dad is also called Douglas,” he told her.
After a small moment’s pause, Evan’s eyes widened. “Is this like a soap opera?” He asked. “Because if it is, then I am super sorry for having brought this around at a university’s Societies Fayre,” Evan said before looking around. “Maybe if we go stand by the TV Society we can get some dramatic background to be worked in?” The situation seemed to call of a dramatic background.
--
Elise stood there expectantly look at Andrew waiting for him to answer her question. Instead he was just kind of looking at her? It was slightly uncomfortable having the drummer of Quake looking at you like that. Maybe it was just an artist thing? Except she couldn’t ever remember Byron doing this to her. Did she have something in her teeth? That would utterly mortifying!
When he said no, she shrugged brushing it off. It was probably too much for her to wish for another famous connection like that. Elise didn’t want it to ruin her day when they still had so many stalls to look at. However Evan then turned around and looked at him appearing somewhat upset and the confusion was quickly back. While Evan was explaining she felt her grip on the strap of her bag tightening and she took a step back. Was this all some big hazing the new student prank? That didn’t seem like the Evan she had known and had been her Haad Boy.
“I’m sorry what?” she said to Evan, looking between the two of them. “You’re father’s name is Douglas as well? It couldn’t be the same one though. That would just be too mental, wouldn’t it?” Sure her father had never really talked about his life before her mom but she just figured that was out of respect and not because he had another child before hand. Did she really have two half-brothers who were musicians did she? Evan had said Andrew’s dad left when he was little, so I suppose it was possible. Looking him up and down she fidgeted a bit, feeling even more out of her element. “Uhm, do you know what your father does now? Maybe it isn’t the same as my dad.”
--
Andrew, frankly, didn’t want to have this conversation - at the societies fayre or otherwise. He didn’t want to find out his dad had other children. Other children he’d actually stuck around to parent. When he’d said no, he’d forgotten Evan knew his dad’s name, or just hadn’t even paused to think about whether or not this was a lie that was going to work. “I’m sure it’s just a coincidence,” he said. “I last saw him when I was eleven.” And yes, it had only been for a day of shopping, but surely his dad would have said if he had a new eight year old daughter? Surely? But Andrew didn’t even know what kind of man his dad was, whether he was the type who’d consider that information Andrew ought to have. Hell, Andrew didn’t even know what Hogwarts house he’d been sorted into. And his mum? Would she have known?
Wishing there was a polite way to just leave, Andrew resetted his feet, pulling away from Evan and Elise both. He shrugged a tense shoulder. “He worked at the Three Broomsticks. In the kitchens.” It couldn’t be the same person. This had to be a coincidence. Elise’s father had to be a muggle, or a lawyer, or a vet, or something.
--
Eleven. He hadn't’ seen his father since he was eleven. Elise couldn’t even imagine growing up without her father in her life and she instantly felt really guilty. She could tell that he was becoming more and more uncomfortable and she was as well. Even the fact that there was a possibility they were siblings was enough for her to want to go and drink all weekend, and possibly find some random guy to sleep with to distract herself even more. Either that, or go home and cry to Byron about this news. Did Byron know about this?
Then he sealed it. The kitchens at the Three Broomsticks. There was no escaping the truth. Did she say something to her father? Did she even have a right? Clearly he hadn’t wanted her to know about Andrew or else he would have told her. Would he be mad at her?
Running her hand through her hair she looked at the floor, “Yeah, he still works there,” she slightly mumbled. Maybe if she didn’t say it very loudly it wouldn’t really be true. Looking up she glanced at Evan, “I should probably go,” she said as she took a step back. “Thanks for inviting me out Evan. I’ll talk to you later sometime?”
--
Evan was not prepared for this. It had gone from being sort of weird to sort of amusing to sort of really not great as both Elise and Andrew seemed to get more agitated and paler with every word exchanged. Evan was not good at dealing with dramatic revelations, whether they be at a Societies Fayre or elsewhere. He hadn’t known that there was even a remote possibility that Elise and Andrew were related and now they were like really related and Evan just didn’t know what he was meant to do. He kind of wished his mum was here, Lily always knew what to do.
“Okay,” Evan said when Elise clearly wanted to leave and maybe, Evan thought, that was for the best, because Andrew didn’t look happy and Evan wanted to fix that. He had no idea how he was going to but it seemed unlikely to happen with Elise in such a near proximity to them. “I’ll sort out a hoodie for you, yeah?” Evan offered. It probably wasn’t the most important bit of the whole thing but Evan could do that. He didn’t know what else he could do.
Then Elise left and Evan turned to Andrew, almost automatically reaching out to take Andrew’s hand which he’d pulled away before. “Come, let’s go sit outside,” Evan said looking towards the exit directly opposite of the one Elise had taken.
--
“I should -” Andrew said, when Elise offered to leave. This was her university. Hers and Evan’s, and it was Andrew who didn’t really belong there. If anyone was going to leave, it should be him. Maybe he hadn’t said it loudly enough, or maybe it was the fact he hadn’t let go of Evan’s hand, but then Elise was gone and Evan was guiding Andrew in the opposite direction, out into a courtyard with grass and trees, and then over to a bench.
Andrew knew he ought to say something, but he really didn’t know where to begin. Or if he wanted to begin at all. Maybe he could just pretend it hadn’t happened? Go back to not knowing Elise existed. Except that Elise was Evan’s friend. “I didn’t ask if she had siblings,” he said. Unsurprisingly, because he hadn’t actually asked Elise anything, but now he wondered if there were more - what? Half-sisters? Step-sisters? Andrew hadn’t ever needed to work out family connections more complicated than mum and aunt and cousin.
Apart from their hands, Andrew didn’t reach out to touch Evan. He both wanted to and didn’t want to, so not seemed far safer. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?” he asked. “He had a whole day. He could have told me. Or he could have called. Or owled while I was at school.”
--
Having led Andrew to a bench so they could sit, Evan took a seat next to him, taking Andrew’s other hand into his as well and giving it a small squeeze as he listened to Andrew speak. He wanted to lean in and... Evan wasn’t quite sure what. It didn’t seem like the right kind of situation where kisses were going to fix things. For the first time in probably forever, Evan wished he didn’t just ignore information that was irrelevant to him, because Elise had probably told Evan whether she had siblings but Evan... didn’t remember. He wished he did, trying to remember any conversations they might’ve had about it but coming up blank.
Evan also wished he had answers to Andrew’s questions about why his dad hadn’t told him. But then, Evan didn’t even understand why Andrew’s dad would’ve just up and left Andrew behind. Evan would’ve never left Andrew behind because Andrew was wonderful. Finally, because Evan didn’t know what he could say or if there was anything he could say, he leaned in closer, pressing his nose against Andrew’s neck. “I’m sorry,” he offered unsure what he was even apologising for. Who he was apologising for.
--
Evan’s hands in his, and Evan’s nose against his neck felt very real. Far more so than the mental image of Elise, who Andrew was struggling to process as anything other than ‘Evan’s friend’. She was just another friend, like Caitlin, not someone who got to come in and turn Andrew’s understanding of his life upside down. His dad had left, and maybe he’d gotten married - or not married - and had children, but those children were dim, remote figures who were perpetually babies and not teenagers with real lives and friends and leather jackets.
Andrew just wanted to forget it had happened, go back to the fayre and eat cake and laugh at the stupid names for things and the pretentious academic clubs and walk around holding Evan’s hand and making fun of it all. Except that Andrew’s chest hurt and he wasn’t sure he’d be very good at making fun of anything right now.
“You didn’t know,” he said, assuming Evan was apologising for having brought them together, or not having warned them, or bringing up their surnames. Andrew didn’t blame Evan for any of it. In all the world, Evan was the last person he wanted to blame, because Evan was right there, holding his hands and trying to make it okay. Slowly, Andrew exhaled, then sniffed. “It’s not like it changes anything,” he said, hoping he sounded more sure than he felt.
--
Evan really, really wished he was better at this. That he would have known how to act or what to say and how to make Andrew feel better. But Evan didn’t. He didn’t even know where to start, or what the appropriate thing was. Unfortunately, ‘what would mum do’ didn’t really work because Lily seemed to just know and Evan had no idea what the logic she employed was. He’d tried to figure it out before and it hadn’t worked and now he desperately wished he had tried harder. Wished he could help and fix everything. But he just didn’t know how.
Shifting in closer to Andrew, Evan let go of one of Andrew’s hands, so he could put an arm around Andrew’s shoulder and draw him in closer, in somewhat of a sideways hug. When Andrew said it wasn’t like this changed anything, Evan frowned against Andrew’s neck. He disagreed. He thought that it changed a lot of things. That now Andrew knew he had a sister and having a sister was really nice, Evan certainly enjoyed it. But he wasn’t sure Andrew wanted to hear that right now. Evan didn’t know what Andrew wanted to hear.
“Do you want me to find you cake?” Evan offered softly. He could bring Andrew things. That Evan knew how to do.
--
Andrew stiffened as Evan tried to pull him closer. If he let Evan hold him, he was afraid of what would happen, what he’d say and particularly that he might cry, and Andrew didn’t want that. He wasn’t going to be upset because his dad had had more kids. What did it matter? It didn’t change the fact that Andrew hadn’t needed a dad for the last 21 years, and still didn’t. He had his mum, and he didn’t need a dad, or a sister, or an anything.
“I’m alright,” he said, releasing Evan’s other hand scrub a hand across his lips, which felt tacky like he was dehydrated. He didn’t want Evan to find him a cake, because that sounded like it meant Evan leaving, and Andrew really didn’t want to sit on the Cambridge Uni campus by himself until Evan came back. “Is there somewhere we can get coffee?” Or, probably, tea in Evan’s case. “Then we can go back and sign you up for Cube Soc and Flying Saucer Club and debating.” And get a hoodie for Elise, because Andrew wasn’t sure he wanted one anymore. He might get distracted by the Am Dram society that was bound to exist while Evan took care of that.
--
The way Andrew went still rather than into Evan’s touch bothered Evan a lot. He knew he wasn’t good at saying the right thing, even when he wanted to be able to so badly, but so far touching had always helped. If Evan couldn’t even offer that he really didn’t know what he could offer. It made him feel so incredibly useless, which in turn made him feel sad. All Evan wanted was to fix whatever was upsetting Andrew but he couldn’t go back in time and not invite Elise, or not invite Andrew, or not bring up the fact that they had the same surname (and in turn, father).
When Andrew refused cake, Evan bit his lip so he wouldn’t give a whine in response. But then Andrew asked if they could get coffee and that, that Evan could definitely do. He would even let Andrew sign him up to an endless stream of emails relating to the sci-fi society, and he also wouldn’t even point out that he had already paid his membership for debating. Evan mostly just planned to let Andrew do whatever he wanted and hope that it’d help. Because clearly, whatever Evan could do or offer wasn’t going to.
“There’s a Starbucks around the corner,” Evan said with a small nod towards the building he was referring to. After a small moment, Evan chewed on his lip. “I’m sorry I can’t help you feel better,” he offered softly, barely audibly.
--
“I’m fine,” Andrew lied, doing no better a job of it than he had when he’d claimed he didn’t know a Douglas Kirke. He wasn’t fine, but he wanted to be, because it was a stupid thing to be upset about. So Elise was related to him. It didn’t mean she knew him, or anything about him. Andrew fully expected never to see her again, just like he expected never to see his dad again. It was only thinking about how little Elise knew about him that made Andrew remember the one thing she did know, that he was in Quake. “Fuck, I’m going to have to tell Nina.” Andrew really had no desire to tell Nina, or to think about the potential legal ramifications or protections. Maybe he could get Aisling to tell Nina. And what about his mum? Should he tell her? Elise wasn’t her daughter, wasn’t biologically related to her in any way. Maybe she’d rather not know?
He pushed the questions aside. Right now, he wasn’t going to think about it. He was going to get something to drink, and dick about with Evan at the societies fayre and ask if there was a society for taxidermied squirrels. Except Evan was apologising for not making Andrew feel better, and when Andrew looked over, he looked sad and small and Andrew caught his own lip between his teeth. Evan was always telling him they could talk about things, and Evan was usually right. “I just don’t know what else to do,” Andrew admitted. “Other than pretend everything’s normal.” Which it really wasn’t, but Andrew didn’t know how to deal with that.
--
It took Evan a moment to go through all the names in his head of the people Andrew knew until he remembered who Nina was. Quake’s manager. Evan had no idea why Andrew needed to tell her about this. How was Andrew’s maybe-most-likely-probably sister any of Quake’s manager’s business? Except then it struck him that Andrew must’ve thought Elise would--well, Evan had no idea what. Something. But Evan knew she wouldn’t. In fact, he needed to remember to write to her after, whenever after was, and make sure she was okay, too. Whilst Andrew was Evan’s priority, he didn’t want Elise to be upset either. Evan did opt for not pointing out that Elise wasn’t going to go to the papers over this, since he wasn’t sure Andrew would listen right now. Maybe later.
When Andrew admitted that he just didn’t know what to do, apart from pretending nothing had happened, Evan gave a small sigh and a soft smile that had no humour in it. “You can’t pretend nothing happened,” Evan said gently. It was going to help not at all to just act like Andrew hadn’t just gained a sister instead of a hoodie. “Not forever, at least,” he added slowly reaching out to brush his hand against Andrew’s, in hopes that maybe this time his touch wouldn’t be rejected. “But for now we can, yeah?” Evan offered. “We can drink coffee and find you the society that sings tunes from musicals, because I know there is one, and we don’t have to think or talk about this for the rest of the day, okay?” Evan didn’t know if that would help but he was quickly running out of options.
--
Andrew tangled his fingers with Evan’s, tugging Evan’s hand over into Andrew’s space. “Why not?” he asked quietly. “I didn’t know she existed and I guess she didn’t know I existed and that’s obviously how he wanted it. It’s just easier, isn’t it?” Because Andrew had no idea how to have a sister. Let alone a teenage sister who’d never had any idea he existed. He suspected there weren’t many people who’d deal with that very gracefully, so wouldn’t it be better all around not to deal with it at all? Andrew really couldn’t see any positive outcomes to acknowledging it, so if the choice was to complicate things or to pretend nothing had happened, he knew which he’d prefer. If Evan hadn’t been there, Andrew was quite convinced they’d have managed.
‘For the rest of the day’ wasn’t long enough. Andrew didn’t want to think about this ever. He didn’t want to get up tomorrow and figure out what to do about a sister he hadn’t known he had and, frankly, had no use for. “What am I supposed to do about her?” he asked, a little too loudly. He couldn’t picture what Evan even thought the alternative was. Sit around pretending they should bond just because they happened to have the same dad? It wasn’t as if they’d been raised by the same person. There was no reason Andrew should choose to get to know Elise over Caitlin, or any random person they found in the street.
--
The temptation to point out that just because Andrew’s dad, who had abandoned him, hadn’t wanted his kids to know about each other, didn’t mean they shouldn’t was great, but Evan, again, didn’t think Andrew was quite ready for that. And then Andrew snapped at Evan and Evan visibly flinched. He wished so badly that he knew what Andrew wanted him to say. Evan really, really didn’t want to upset Andrew any further but he felt Andrew was being rather unfair to Elise, who clearly had had no expectations from Andrew and had also felt uncomfortable and had left. Given, Evan had a lot more experience at having a sister than Andrew did, but he was feeling a bit offended at the ease with which Andrew seemed to dismiss the whole situation.
“You’re not supposed to do anything about her,” Evan said almost defensively, like it was on him to explain something he didn’t understand in the first place. Evan got that this was confusing and he got that it had been a shitty way to find out, but he didn’t get why Andrew seemed so upset with Elise. And maybe Evan, too. Though, Evan supposed he did get why Andrew would be upset with him because Evan had been the one to accidentally organise the meeting and the soap opera like reveal. “Don’t you--” Evan started and then paused. He had no idea if his question was going to get more loud responses. “Don’t you want to get to know her?” He asked anyway. Evan thought that in Andrew’s situation, he would, but then, unless James found himself a lovechild, Evan doubted this was likely to happen.
--
Andrew hadn’t meant to snap at Evan, or Elise. This wasn’t their fault. But he couldn’t very well go and shout at Douglas Kirke, who was responsible, because Andrew didn’t even know where he lived. Not to mention, going to talk to Elise’s dad seemed more unfair than just ignoring her. He pulled away, not wanting to make Evan flinch at him again. “No,” he said, honestly confused. Right now, the last thing he wanted was to get to know Elise, or have anything to do with her or her family. The knowledge that he already had - that she existed - was more than he wanted. Why would he deliberately try to find out more?
It did make it weird that she was Evan’s friend. Unless Andrew stopped talking to Evan (not an option), he was probably going to find out more about her. Andrew could have asked Evan not to talk about her, he supposed, but he had a pretty good idea of how Evan would take that request. “Why should I?” he asked, more quietly. “I don’t understand why I would?”
--
Why wouldn’t you? was the automatic response Evan wanted to give but didn’t. He knew he wasn’t good at saying the right thing, or even having a clue about what the right thing to say was. Evan often said the exact opposite of what was helpful and often didn’t get people’s reactions at all. He knew he could be insensitive about a lot of things without meaning to, and Evan liked to think he was getting better at sometimes keeping his opinions to himself. It wasn’t easy, though. Especially not when all Evan wanted to do was assure Andrew that this didn’t really change anything.
“It’s not Elise’s fault,” Evan said finally. “She was clearly just as confused as you are,” which seemed like a fair assesment seeing how quickly Elise had left. “Elise is very nice, I wouldn’t have introduced the two of you if I didn’t think you’d get on,” which was very true. Then again, Evan couldn’t actually imagine what sort of a person Andrew wouldn’t get on with. But also, Evan strongly believed that he had a good taste in who he chose to be friends with. He’d honestly thought that Andrew and Elise would get on very well because they were--well, similar. Which now was borderline ironic, not that Evan was going to point that particular bit out.
After a moment, Evan gave a small sigh. “You don’t have to do anything about this, Andrew. Right now or tomorrow or in a week’s time or ever, if you don’t want to,” because he really didn’t have to. “I don’t know how you feel, I can’t tell you what to do,” Evan said. He wished he did and could but as much as he loved Andrew, the way they thought was very different and what seemed acceptable for Evan was unlikely to be the same for Andrew.
--
To Andrew, the fact that Elise was nice was immaterial. There were loads of nice people in the world, people who didn’t apparently share a parent with Andrew. He’d be happy to meet any and all of them, if Evan wanted. He had been perfectly happy to meet Elise, when she’d just been Evan’s friend. “I know it’s not her fault.” Andrew didn’t think he was acting like it was her fault, or Evan’s fault. He just didn’t want to deal with it, or her. He doubted she would care one way or the other. It wasn’t as if it was a punishment for her not to get to know him. For all Andrew knew, she already had brothers and had no desire to have another, who wasn’t even really a brother.
He wanted to accept Evan’s words, his reassurance that Andrew didn’t have to do anything, but he didn’t really believe it. Andrew could do nothing for now, but at some point he was going to have to deal with it, to decide whether to tell people, to accept the fact that Evan knew her and was going to keep knowing her. “But you think I should,” he said. “Do something.” It was fair enough. Being with Evan had shown Andrew that running away from problems didn’t really work as well as addressing them. So Andrew assumed that he would do something, eventually. As for Evan not knowing how he felt, Andrew wasn’t sure he did either. The ability to instantly translate his feelings into musical numbers would have come in pretty handy right now. “That makes two of us,” he said, slowly leaning back in, making sure Evan wasn’t going to flinch again. “You can’t tell me what to do,” he agreed, doubtful either of them would find that pleasant or helpful. “But will you help me figure out… what I want to do?” Not right now, because right now all Andrew wanted was a coffee and a cuddle.
--
Well, yeah, Evan did think that Andrew should do something. Ignoring that this had happened was just ridiculous, because there was no benefit to doing so. No matter how much Andrew wanted to, he couldn’t go back in time and erase this knowledge from him mind. So that meant that ignoring the situation just wasn’t going to be practically possible. Thus, logic would indicate, he had to do something. But that something didn’t have to be right now. And when Andrew asked if Evan would help him figure out what to do, Evan smiled softly. That, he thought, at least, he could definitely do.
Leaning in closer, Evan brushed his lips against Andrew’s jaw. “Always,” he promised completely honestly. All Evan wanted to do was make Andrew feel better and he was more than willing to go to great lengths in order to achieve that. Talking was really not a hardship at all. “But for now,” Evan said with another light kiss. “We’ll go drink overpriced, sweet coffee and then we’ll go and find the musicals society and maybe get a balloon shaped as a dog, yeah?” Evan told Andrew pulling back enough to look at him but not letting go of Andrew’s hand. “And then everything will seem better,” Evan assured. “Because it’s hard for everything to look terrible when you have a balloon dog,” he said with conviction.
--
Andrew leaned into the kisses, nodding against Evan’s lips. “Yeah,” agreed. “Do you think there’s a blanket fort society?” Because Andrew thought a blanket fort would be welcome, right now, and he also thought that if there wasn’t a blanket fort society, then Evan should consider making one. Or, really, he and Andrew should declare themselves in one and make stickers, but not invite anyone else. He squeezed Evan’s hand. “It’s hard for everything to look terrible when you’re here,” he said. A balloon dog would be fun, but certainly had nothing on a real-life Evan. He shifted so he could kiss Evan softly, grateful that Evan always made things feel better.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I’m not going to sing at you again.” Even though the song Andrew remembered most clearly from his weirdly musical day was the one Evan had liked, about Andrew being changed. “At least not until we get to the musicals society,” he promised, standing up and pulling Evan with him, wrapping his arms around him for a moment. “Then I might.” But first, coffee. Andrew walked close to Evan as he let him lead the way to the hot drinks.