The drink was appreciated and at least made it easier to not think about how uncertain she was and how that uncertainty alone was enough to make her feel more confused than she had ever been. Throughout her life, the one thing she felt she was so certain about, her sexuality, had been the only thing that she could put in a nice little box. Maybe she couldn't tell anyone, but she knew herself that she was a lesbian. Right? Had she been wrong? "Thank you," Daphne said, picking up the drink and taking a sip. The burn was at least something that she could focus on.
"Yes," Daphne said, nodding. "Not that I haven't tried since we broke up." She sighed. It was probably confusing to him as much as it was to her. "We dated in school," she explained. "And I didn't want anyone to know because of my family. I knew how they would feel about it and I was afraid of what everyone else would say about me if they knew that I was with another girl. I didn't want my friends to think of me differently. I didn't want to get those looks that people give when you're different." She hadn't wanted to be different. She'd wanted to fit in and be someone that was the same as all of the other girls.
"I tried to be normal after I left school. I stopped speaking with her and we drifted apart. I wanted to forget about that part of my life because I wanted to get married and have children and be what my parents wanted me to be, what I was supposed to be." She took another sip, not even sure why she was telling all of these things to Roger. "Kissing boys was easy," she said. "Dating them was easy. I just felt that I was lying to them when they wanted to move things further. Once it got to that point, I ran away from them too because it's not really right to sleep with a man when you're a lesbian. Is it?" And that just made her more confused. "Heavens, I sound ridiculous."