Tracey Davis {can kick your ass} (tracingadavis) wrote in reduxpitch, @ 2016-08-27 16:43:00 |
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Tracey bolted upright in bed, both confused about where she was and incredibly panicked. Her breath came in gasps and her heart pounded in her ears. She might have woken up screaming, or it could have been something from her dream. Her dream where she was mauling her girlfriend the night of the full moon. As soon as she woke up, she knew it was a dream, and yet, she could remember every detail in vivid, realistic color, like it had really happened. She brought a shaky hand up to her face, only to discover her cheeks were wet. She was up and shoving her feet into a pair of pants lying on the floor before she knew what she was doing. Remus. She needed to talk to Remus. Remus could make sense of the dream, or whatever it was, maybe it was a premonition. Either way, she couldn’t let it happen for real, not to Daphne. “Lupin!” she yelled, banging on the door, completely ignorant about the time of night; though even if she did know what time it was, she wouldn’t have cared. She needed to talk to him. “Lupin I need to talk to you!” -- Needless to say, at 3am on the fourth night after the full moon Remus Lupin was fast asleep. He never slept particularly deeply, or easily - so when he was woken from a rare good night’s sleep, he did not react well. He stumbled to the door, tugging a t-shirt on as he walked, left leg of his pyjama trousers hopelessly wrinkled and tangled up around his knee from the way he’d been lying. Yanking open the door he was about ready to rip off the head of whoever was banging...until he realised who it was. “Tracey?” Frowning, he stepped back to let her in, biting back the harsh words that had been on the tip of his tongue. “What is it, what’s wrong?” -- It was good that Remus let her in, because otherwise Tracey would have just pushed her way inside. She ran a hand through her hair and scratched her scalp; instead of settling down or telling him what had happened, she began to pace, suddenly unsure of what she was doing there. It had only been a dream after all, right? Dreams weren’t real. They weren’t a danger to anyone. But Tracey was, and for all her angry yelling and threats, was terrified of turning someone. Most of that was because of what would happen to her, whether she’d be killed or put in Azkaban, but in this instance, the who was just as important. One of her biggest hangups about relationships was the possibility of turning her lover, and that was exactly what had happened in this dream that had felt more like reality than standing there in Remus’ living room. “What would you do if you bit someone?” she asked suddenly, aware that she couldn’t just start with ‘I had a dream.’ -- Remus reached for two clean glasses from the shelf in the living room, pouring two large glasses of whiskey. He had a feeling they’d need them. It couldn’t have been tonight; the only night Tracey could be a danger to someone would be on the full moon. “Did you take your wolfsbane? Every night?” He asked sternly. He hadn’t seen any reports of wild dog attacks; and that was something he paid very very close attention to. Not just for his own peace of mind, but to be able to protect the other wolves he knew - Tracey, Galinda, those he had come to know as a teacher at Hogwarts. “Do you know who it was that you bit? Do they know?” His mind was beginning to whirl; eventualities, back up plans. -- She was shaking her head long before he finished asking her questions. Talking seemed to be slowly helping her calm down and focus, at least enough to know that she’d completely overreacted to something that hadn’t happened and wasn’t real. The fact that it felt real, and could totally happen in her future was the reason she didn’t just apologize and leave so he could go back to sleep. “It’s not like that, it didn’t actually happen, I-” Tracey cut herself off and took the glass of whiskey. The burn down her throat was comforting, grounding, made it easier to tell what was real. “I had a dream, I know it sounds stupid, but I--I can vividly remember the taste of her blood in my mouth, it felt more real to me than standing here right now.” -- Remus almost visibly sagged. Thank fuck for that. He knocked back his drink, filling up both their glasses and gesturing to the overstuff, squashy sofas in his library. “Let’s sit down,” he murmured, guiding her with a hand on the small of her back. “You say ‘her’; you’re having this dream about someone specific?” He wasn’t particularly surprised; Merlin knew he’d dreamt often enough about accidentally turning one of his friends; Lily, or Tonks, were particularly nightmarish possibilities. No matter how careful he was with his wolfsbane, locking himself away or only letting himself be around Sirius, James, and Peter...there would never be a morning after a full moon that he didn’t wake up wondering. -- “I’d rather stand,” she said shortly, but didn’t really fight him as he guided her to the chairs; she just didn’t sit in any of them. All she did was stare at the drink in her hand and press her lips together. Yes, it was someone specific. Someone very specific. The first specific someone, and the one she still felt connected to. She’d told Daphne just days ago that it wasn’t a good idea for them to try to restart anything, and her dream last night was exactly why. Her feelings for the other girl were messy and scared her, but what she could do to her was far more worrisome than what could be done to her; Tracey would only be hurt emotionally, and she was strong enough to handle that. Daphne could be killed if she wasn’t careful enough, and if she wasn’t careful enough, there was nothing she could do about it. “Daphne.” -- “Ah,” Remus said, softly. He knew that Daphne was important to Tracey; that they’d had a falling out of sorts at school, and that it had affected Tracey deeply. He also knew that Tracey was gay. She’d never talked about Daphne in that context, but....well. It was rather telling that it was her, above anyone else, that Tracey was scared of turning. “I know it must have felt very real,” he said, turning his glass back and forth in his hands. “Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve had that dream. But as long as you’re careful, there is nothing to worry about. I promise.” -- Tracey downed the rest of the contents of her glass and pushed away to start pacing. She knew what had happened was just a dream, but it hadn’t felt like it was just a dream. It was too vivid, too real. Her dreams were always fuzzy, blurry around the edges. This one had been sharp, clear. Maybe it wasn’t just a dream. Maybe it was a warning. “I was careful, I’m always careful.” That was part of why she never transformed at home; there was going to be a human inside the dwelling with her, she always left to go to the woods, where the likelihood of running into someone was insignificant. That was the worst part of the dream, remembering what happened before the transformation. “She wanted me to stop feeling like I had to leave every time and get to a place where I could stay home with her. This was the first time, and I was careful, I could remember thinking in the dream, remembering taking it each night so that she’d be safe, and then…” she trailed off, not wanting to finish the thought. And then she’d transformed and torn into her. Tracey didn’t even know if she’d survived. She’d woken up before that part. -- “It didn’t happen,” Remus said, setting his glass down and watching her pace. If Tracey had been someone else he would have reached out, taken her by the shoulders. Perhaps even given her a hug. He knew better than to do anything of the sort with her though. “And it’s not going to happen, because I know you. I know how careful you are. And if you take your wolfsbane every night, if you do what you’ve always done...you’ll be fine.” He smiled a little then. “Look at me. I’ve spent full moons in my office at Hogwarts before.” And he had been scared shitless the first time he was forced to do it, but he knew it was possible now. If he needed to. “The only way you’ll ever be a danger to anyone is if you don’t take wolfsbane, and don’t take the proper precautions.” He sighed then. “And honestly, if any person ever tries to pressure you into changing around them - they don’t understand what it’s like for us. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about disappointing them.” |