HIGGS, terence. (higgles) wrote in reduxpitch, @ 2016-08-13 22:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, character: gemma higgs, character: terence higgs |
who ? gemma and terence higgs
when ? saturday, 13th august
where ? the burrow
what ? higgs owes his sister some apologies
status ? complete
Higgs’ plan had mostly been going to Marcus’ engagement party, offering his apologies for not having been particularly (or at all) supportive about the engagement and then buggering off again. Except Marcus had insisted that Higgs stay for a bit and he didn’t really feel like he could refuse. The crowds weren’t doing a great deal to set him at ease but at least Higgs knew quite a few people there. Which in a way both made it better and worse. Higgs was trying to avoid anyone who might ask him questions he didn’t want to answer, whilst at the same time trying to find his sister, because she deserved some answers.
When he finally did spot Gemma, she was sat on a bench at the edge of the garden. Higgs didn’t think she had really spotted him until he sat down next to her. “Fancy seeing you here, Gemlin,” he said teasingly, quite aware that perhaps that wasn’t the best greeting he could’ve offered. But it was amusing. Which might be the last amusing bit of the conversation, so Higgs intended to savour it.
--
Gemma was trying to enjoy the party, for her friend’s sake, and not look as if she’d rather be anywhere but there. But then worrying about your absentee brother and whether or not he was alright would likely kill the mood of any party. As it was, she really hadn’t noticed that her brother was there until he had actually sat down. All at once she was relieved and happy to see him, and at the same time trying to tamp down on feeling pissed off at him for not letting anyone know that he was, at the very least, actually okay and alive.
“I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be my line,” she responded. The teasing tone and use of his favoured nickname for her hadn’t done much to quell her feelings of wanting to shout at him. Though she was going to do her best to not cause a scene at Marcus and Ginny’s party.
--
At her words, Higgs gave a small smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. As much as he knew he should have done more to correspond his well being, Higgs also hadn’t really felt like it was... necessary? Which was unfair, because he knew people would have worried, but the absence had been needed. Still was needed. “I’m sorry, Gemma,” he offered honestly, pulling his sister into a sideways hug, pressing a soft kiss against her hair, before pulling back with a soft sigh.
“Sorry for disappearing,” he added, even though the original apology had mostly been for worrying Gemma, which Higgs was sure he had. “And for not being around on my birthday,” Higgs offered. He knew Gemma had wanted to go for lunch, and she had had the Quidditch gala, too. It really hadn’t been very fair of him, but Higgs could hardly offer more than apologies at this point.
--
It wasn’t quite fair that he was apologising like that, not that it had really deflated her frustration any, but it made her almost feel like she couldn’t stay mad at him. Though the hug she could easily accept for all that she’d missed him whilst he’d been gone. “I wouldn’t have minded so much if you had at least let me, or anyone, know that you were at least okay,” she responded, trying to keep her voice calm. “I mean, seriously, that’s the least you could’ve done instead of having us all worried about you. I didn’t need all the details on what you were up to but it would’ve been nice knowing that you were actually alive and something terrible hadn’t happened…”
Gemma sighed and gazed at her hands. “I’ve never once missed your birthday, not even when you were overseas, but if you’d just said anything….Well, I’d probably still be pissed at your for disappearing but I probably wouldn’t mind so much.”
--
“I did tell you I was fine,” Higgs corrected. Yes, he had said as much almost two weeks ago, but it was hardly as if that had changed. It wasn’t even as if Higgs had disappeared without saying anything at all. Could he given a more elaborate explanation before leaving? Sure. But frankly, Higgs wasn’t sure he had been in the right state of mind to be doing that, quite pleased he had managed to say anything at all. “But I realise I could’ve communicated that more explicitly,” he added since that was fair. Higgs was sorry, but he also suspected if it came down to it, he wouldn’t change how things had gone, because explaining could’ve been worse.
With a small sigh, Higgs leaned his back against the bench, looking across the crowd of people gathered to celebrate Marcus and Ginny’s engagement. Ginny seemed to know a lot of people. “My friend died,” Higgs said softly, not looking at his sister. “Killed himself,” he added with a barely noticeable shrug. “Left a wife and a four-year-old behind. I went to help with the funeral,” Higgs told Gemma almost too conversationally. Like it didn’t matter. Except it really did.
After another moment, Higgs glanced at his sister. “I’ve got a lot of things I need to sort out,” which didn’t really explain anything. “In my head,” he added as if that helped. “But you shan’t worry,” he told his sister reaching out to give her knee a squeeze. “I’m going to go stay at mum and dad’s house for a bit, until at least they come back from holiday,” which Higgs was pretty sure wasn’t until end of August so that suited him just fine.
--
“I know you did, but that was also before you left and didn’t send any other word,” she pointed out. Gemma knew her brother could look after himself but that didn’t stop her from worrying and wondering about what may or may not have happened to him.
“Tens…” she murmured quietly, looking at her brother. God, no wonder he hadn’t been in touch then. Now she really didn’t know what to say - because she was pretty sure there wasn’t really any answer or anything that could be said that would just magically make it all better.
Instead of hugging him, like any sane sibling ought to do, she punched him in his upper arm playfully. “Idiot,” she muttered. “You can’t just say I’ll not worry when you know full well that I will.” Gemma chewed at her lower lip worriedly before speaking up again, albeit a bit more sombrely. “You are mostly okay though, aren’t you?”
--
Higgs still wasn’t convinced that he hadn’t said enough upon his departure, but he also knew far better than to attempt to argue with Gemma. So instead he gave a small shrug and another apology, because that was pretty much all he had. It wasn’t much helped by the way she said his name, which just made Higgs kind of sad, even if that sadness was for Gemma experiencing any level of sadness because of him. But then she punched his arm and startled a small laugh out of Higgs.
With what was probably a lot of practice, Higgs pinched his sister’s side in a playful response to her punch. “Brat,” he told her, before the smile disappeared at her question. He wasn’t okay. Higgs had come to realise as much and that realisation was important to have but he wasn’t sure whether he was quite ready to tell other people about it. But then, Gemma was his sister, one of the closest people Higgs had. “No,” he finally settled on, but rushed in to add “But I will be,” before she could say much else. “Or I’m going to at least try to be,” Higgs said slightly more truthfully, because he couldn’t quite promise everything to be fine, no matter how much he might’ve liked to.
--
Gemma had been about to respond by poking her tongue out at him but she’d noticed the smile drop from his face and decided otherwise. “Okay then,” she said quietly, not really knowing quite what to say to that revelation, before finally hugging her brother - not caring if he didn’t particularly want one right now, she needed it it for her own peace of mind and suspected that even if he didn’t want one that one was needed anyway. “Just don’t go shutting me out completely, okay? Because frankly that won’t end well and I will be very upset if you did.”
--
Higgs returned the hug quite happily. He had never considered himself starved for affection, but if there had been a time to, this would be it. It felt good to have Gemma hug him, he’d feared the whole encounter would go much worse, so it was nice to just be able to hug her back. “I won’t shut you out, I promise,” he told her honestly. If there was one thing Higgs had become acutely aware of was that he needed to address his own issues, and in order to do that he was going to need help. Gemma was an excellent support, even if Higgs didn’t give her much of a chance to be one.
Leaning back, Higgs looked around. “Okay, so now that I’ve apologised and you’ve had the opportunity to smack me, can you cover me so I can sneak out?” Higgs asked jokingly, but also kind of partially seriously. “I’m trying to avoid Pippa,” he told Gemma. “I bet she won’t be as nice as you about telling me off,” he added because Pippa could be much scarier than his sister if she wanted to be. The difference between a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, Higgs was sure.
--
“Good,” she simply said, before offering him the first genuine smile she’d felt she’d been able to give at all for the past couple of weeks. Even though she wasn’t sure what it was he was going through or about to go through, Gemma was just happy to know that even if he wasn’t feeling okay that he was, for her eyes, okay.
Gemma raised an eyebrow at her brother’s request. Not that she blamed him one bit. She knew that her friend’s reaction to Tens’ absence and reappearance likely wouldn’t end at all quietly. “Probably not,” she responded bemusedly. “Don’t worry though, I’ll cover for you. Though you probably won’t want to put it off much longer; else her reaction will probably just be even worse…”
--
“Yes, yes,” Higgs nodded in agreement. He wasn’t putting it off. Well. He was. But mostly Higgs was just putting off Pippa telling him off at her brother’s engagement party. He’d make sure to talk to her in a more private setting, explain to her, too. Or try to, at least. Higgs was still trying to work out what he knew he could say and what he probably should say.
Pressing a quick peck against Gemma’s cheek, Higgs smiled. “You’re the best baby sister,” he informed her before urging her to return to the party so he could make a quiet exit.