juniper; DORNEY (jdrny) wrote in reduxpitch, @ 2016-05-01 10:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, character: gilderoy lockhart, character: juniper dorney |
who ? gilderoy lockhart and juniper dorney
when ? late morning, 1st may
where ? bookshop (?)
what ? gilderoy has a book signing and jun is the world’s most ironic fan
status ? complete
There were a lot of things in Jun’s life she did purely for entertainment. Most of them usually involved ridiculous things that someone else could feel superior about for her doing them. It amused Jun quite a lot that people felt they could feel better than her for choices she made. This was the main reason she absolutely adored Gilderoy Lockhart’s books. Anyone ever having spent a day in real life knew that his books were ludicrous stories, but no matter how much people felt the need to discredit the actual content (probably rightfully so, unless Gilderoy really had fought a grindylow with a teaspoon and conducted a wedding ceremony between a bicorn and a moke, in which case, fair play to him), Jun did think that his writing was good. It was enthralling, if you allowed yourself to suspend any sense of disbelief. This was why Jun owned all of Gilderoy Lockhart’s books.
In fact, one of Jun’s favourite things was to learn ridiculous quotes from them and recite them at rather inconvenient times. Once she had successfully quoted a passage about bowtruckles making tea for Gilderoy at Cedric after having sex. Jun was still pretty proud of that. Her great fangirling over Lockhart and his books was what had lead her to a book-signing early on Sunday morning. The queue had been rather tedious and long, filled with mostly old women who proudly wore t-shirts proclaiming them to be Gilderinas. Jun had asked one of them where she could get a t-shirt like that and the women had been more than happy to find a free one for the ‘poor deaf girl’. Jun would have objected but she did get a free shirt out of it, so whatever.
By the time she finally got her book signed, Jun was proudly wearing a marginally oversized t-shirt that informed Lockhart that she, too, was a Gilderina. Probably good forty years below every other Gilderina in the room, too. Presenting Gilderoy with her copy of Gallivanting with Griffins, Jun gave him a wide grin. “Very much looking forward to reading about your new adventures,” Jun informed him, signing the sentence as she said it out loud. It wasn’t even a lie, Jun really was looking forward to reading the book, just perhaps not for the same reasons as all the other Gilderinas.
--
After nearly a month of isolation in the house he shared with his mother, Gilderoy was pleased to be back out among his fans. He’d hidden some initial surliness behind his usual white flash of smile, but the more often he heard “I voted for you, Mr Lockhart” and “It’s a real shame, I don’t know how it happened” and “If this means you’ll keep writing then in a way I’m glad”, the more naturally it came to him and the more extravagantly he flourished his new ostrich feather quill (a present from his mother). The queue of people was about the same as it had ever been, broadly speaking; little old ladies with varying amounts of husbands or children in tow. When he looked up and spotted the young woman in one of the Gilderina t-shirts, Gilderoy couldn’t quite help widening his eyes and lifting both brows. Then he beamed.
“Well hello! I’m very pleased to -” He stopped, attention drawn to the fluttering movement of her hand. It was quite distracting. Really, what was she doing? Gilderoy, always the professional, soldiered on. “Very pleased to hear it, of course. I think you’ll find my encounter with the brooding mother particularly thrilling.” Of course, every encounter in the book was thrilling, so Gilderoy had been cycling through different ones with each reader.
He opened her copy of the book to the title page, tossing his blonde waves out of his eyes. “Who should I make this out to?”
--
At Gilderoy’s assurance of particularly thrilling passages, Jun’s grin widened. “Oh, I have no doubt,” she agreed with a nod. Frankly, the more ridiculous the encounters with magical beasts that the books offered her, the better. “I was a big fan of the way you described family encounters in Evening with Erumpents,” Jun assured him rather honestly, because she had enjoyed them. In the sort of way one might enjoy watching someone very dislikable spill an ice cold drink all over themselves. “You’re so--” Jun paused briefly, trying to decide which of the words she had overheard whilst queueing would be most fitting. “Intrepid,” she finally settled on because it was ridiculous.
“Oh,” Jun leaned closer at his question, mostly because she could. “Make it out to Juniper, please?” She asked carrying on signing as she spoke. It was very much a part of who Jun was but she was also becoming rather aware that Lockhart didn’t seem to know why she was doing it, because he kept ever so often looking away when he spoke. Usually people at least tried to make sure they looked at Jun when they spoke since she could not, in fact, hear them. “I hear you’re doing photo ops, too?” She asked innocently despite the fact that there was a massive sign behind Gilderoy informing everyone of just that.
--
Gilderoy swished his glorious ostrich feather through the air as he grinned. “Oh, of course,” he agreed. “I’m rather fond of Evening with Erumpents myself.” With the possible exception of his Guide to Household Pests, Gilderoy was inordinately fond of all of his published works. “It’s rare to get photographs that close to a baby. Not to spark my own wand, but I did all the photography myself.” Intrepid was a good word. Not quite as good as ‘dashing’ or ‘heroic’, but Gilderoy certainly wasn’t going to quibble. “Too kind,” he said, gazing up at her while flicking one hand almost as if waving the subject aside. Almost. “Really too kind. It’s just so important to help people. These poor wizards and witches beset by these creatures - quite fortunate we don’t have anything too nasty in this country - with no idea what to do until someone comes along…” He trailed off with yet another dazzling smile.
“Juniper,” Gilderoy said aloud as he dropped his gaze to the book in front of him and penned her name in his most fluid and furbelowed script. “I hope Gallivanting brings you as much joy and enlightenment as you’ve come to expect.” He didn’t look up as he wrote, focusing on some truly impressive lettering on the capitals. “All my warmest wishes.” And, of course, he finished with his usual ornate signature.
Passing the book back, still open to allow the ink to dry, Gilderoy finally glanced back up at Jun. “Oh, yes,” he agreed, raising a hand to the loitering photographer. “I so love having photographs with my readers.” This was absolutely true, but even so Jun would make a nice change from the more usual, and senior, Gilderina.
--
There wasn’t any doubt in Jun’s mind that Gilderoy had not done all the photography himself. Firstly, she owned every single copy of his books and thus was well versed in the sort of photos that appeared in them, which meant that Jun knew that he was in majority of them. Smiling away as he hugged what appeared to be a tranquilised animal with it’s eyes propped magically open. Secondly, half of the photos looked like they had been stitched together with actual thread rather than genuine. The really terrible photographs were Jun’s favourites. “Your skills are magnificent,” Jun agreed her voice absolutely dripping with sarcasm, which she had no doubt Gilderoy wouldn’t notice. This was great. Jun should attend more of these signings.
“You know, if you ever wanted someone to paint you... bravely,” Jun told him with a grin. “I do some very good artwork,” she informed him, fetching a card from her pocket and handing it over. “Not to spark my own wand,” Jun added mimicking the phrase he had used, which seemed as ridiculous as the man.
Glancing down at the signature, Jun smiled. It was clear just from the way Gilderoy had written that signing books was a great part of his professional career. “Thank you,” she said honestly, because as much as great deal of Jun’s fan-practices when it came to Gilderoy Lockhart came mostly from a sense of irony, she did appreciate the effort he put into it. “What is the next project you’re planning?” She asked curiously. “Giants would be interesting,” Jun added before frowning slightly. “But I guess you’ve just done a G,” she added glancing down at the book. “Kelpies, perhaps?”
--
It had never bothered Gilderoy that his fans were mostly rather older than he was, but he could hardly deny that it was especially flattering to have a young woman tell him how magnificent he was. Perhaps he should talk to his publishers and ask why they weren’t marketing his books to more people Juniper’s age, since they were obviously capable of appreciating them. “Oh,” he said, with an insincere smile, “I was mostly lucky. I always take a camera along on my trips. Usually don’t get to use it much, my hands are rather busy with more important things!”
He smiled at her mention of painting. His fans did send him such nice things sometimes. Quilts, mostly. Gilderoy had a vast number of quilts. And pairs of slippers, and jumpers which he would never wear. He kept them all, though. He’d been thinking of having the Prophet come in and do a photo-interview. When she offered him a business card, though, he raised an eyebrow. “Oh. You’re a professional, then?” That was a rather different matter. Immediately, Gilderoy was struck with a vision of his very own talking portrait, hung somewhere public after his death to continue dispensing wisdom and charming smiles. It would make sense to have such a thing commissioned now. Gilderoy didn’t want to be remembered as a 60-something wizard. He studied the card, noting the address of what he assumed was a business premise or shop. “I shall certainly come and have a look at your work,” he said.
At her question about his next project, Gilderoy sighed dramatically. “As I’m sure you know, my mother hasn’t been very well of late,” he informed Jun. It had been in the papers, before all the election nonsense. Gilderoy was scrupulously not mentioning the election unless someone else brought it up first. “I couldn’t possibly leave her just now, which does put me at a bit of a loose end. There are some Kelpies up in Scotland, I believe…” Gilderoy was hesitant to try his usual practices in the UK where they could be more easily discovered. “I think it might be time for a new kind of project.”
--
Jun nodded at Gilderoy’s explanation that he had just been lucky with the photographs. Frankly, Jun was pretty sure he had been lucky with majority of his career. No matter whether Gilderoy’s books were truthful or not, he had certainly found a nieche in the market and exploited it. Good on him. The Slytherin and the businesswoman in Jun certainly could appreciate that. There had to also be a lot said about Gilderoy’s marketing strategy, which Jun did realise was probably a lot down to his publisher, but still, it was rather effective. Especially if the queues of elderly fans were any indications. Perhaps the youth market was somewhat failing them, though.
There was a small hum of confirmation that Jun gave at Gilderoy’s question about her being a professional. She really was and he could do a lot worse than Jun in terms of having his portrait painted, she knew that. Besides, Jun rather liked the idea of being able to have Gilderoy sit for her, because it meant that she’d have more time to ask him questions about his rather grand adventures.
“Oh, yes,” Jun nodded. “Sorry to hear that, I hope she feels better soon,” she added more genuinely. She did also bite her lip slightly when Gilderoy mentioned that there were kelpies in Scotland. Yes, from what Jun had gathered from his books, the UK was not often a place he chose to research. Or well, according to his books neither were other countries, but apparently none of Gilderoy’s fans felt the need to question his geographical and political awareness of Africa. “I’m sure whatever you decide to do next will be magnificent,” she assured him with a smile. It would certainly be hilarious. His political manifesto had illustrated as much.
“Shall we have a photo, then?” Jun asked with a small wave of her hand towards the man with the camera that only marginally looked like he wanted to kill himself after having spent half a morning taking pictures of smiling elderly women and Gilderoy Lockhart.
--
Gilderoy nodded at Jun’s good wishes, but said nothing. His mother’s health was something he tried not to think about. She was getting on in years, and it was unlikely she’d ever be the charming, agile woman he remembered. Gilderoy wouldn’t abandon her, but he refused to muse morbidly on the fact that his next trip out of the country might be after she’d passed on. He had plenty of great plans that he could carry out right here in the UK. Just because he wouldn’t be going into politics didn’t mean he’d exhausted his options in England’s capital city. “I have a few ideas up my sleeve,” he said, his voice lowered to a stage whisper. He tapped the business card still on the table in front of him. “Perhaps I’ll take you up on this and give you a little sneak peek.” It would be a good idea to get input from someone younger. Gilderoy was quite proud of his own excellent business sense.
“By all means!” Gilderoy agreed, standing up and flicking imaginary bits of dust off his pumpkin orange robes. He gestured for Jun to come and join him in front of the large Gallivanting with Griffins sign.
--
“Oh, I would be delighted to take a sneak peek,” Jun assured Gilderoy with a wide grin. Her decision to come to this book-signing this morning had clearly been a genius one. Jun was already planning how excited she could make herself sound to Cedric when she went to pick Cathy up. Maybe next time she’d bring the baby, too! Cathy could be Gilderoy’s younger fan. Gilderitta. It’d be great. “First, I have to read this, though,” Jun added patting the newly signed book in her hand. “Which I am thoroughly looking forward to,” she told him. Oh, yes, Jun was, because the book was no doubt going to be filled with ridiculous exaggerations and imaginations and Jun would love it.
When Gilderoy stood, Jun moved so she could stand next to him in front of the post, grinning widely at the camera. Once the picture had been taken, Jun gave Gilderoy another smile. “Thank you,” she said referring to both the book and the picture. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you,” she added. Jun might not be the sort of honest and impressed fan Gilderoy might think her to be, but she definitely counted as a fan, even if her fan-practices were a bit questionable. Once being given the photo, Jun smiled again. The photo was great. She might even get it framed, just because. This was the best thing ever.