inamac (inamac) wrote in red_day_love, @ 2008-07-04 21:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | pairing: ss/rl, rating: pg-13, type: fic |
Fic Conundrum
Title: Conundrum
Author: inamac
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: SS/RL
Wordcount: 630
Disclaimer Very loosely based on characters created by J K Rowling. Very loosely. Hardly connected at all really. Written for fun, not profit.
Summary Does it really matter if you're under attack when you're in love?
Author's Note Er, my first Snupin. Prompted by the list of spell-check alternatives that IJ offered the last time I posted the name 'Snape'. List at the end, for anyone who wants to try spotting them all. This is not the little something I intended for Red, but it seemed to demand a sticky wolf...
Conundrum
"Snipe!" snapped Snape, holding out his free hand while the other stirred the cauldron carefully. "And make it snappy! I haven't got all day."
His companion selected the dead gamebird from the ranks of carefully laid out potions ingredients on the work bench, removed the snare from the snipe's limp legs with a snap, and passed it over. "You've got until sunup," he pointed out. Technically that is all day."
The potions Master set aside the stirring rod and picked up a pair of shears to snip three feathers from the avian corpse and drop them into the potion. "I would like," he said, resuming stirring, "To have time for a nap before our client arrives to collect this." He peered into the murky depths. "Snapper," he demanded, in even snappier tones than he had used previously.
Lupin reached for the polished turtle shell and held it out with an air of resignation. When Snape was in the middle of anything tricky, like brewing a potion, his lover had learned that it was best to obey commands quickly and without question.
Snape had just exchanged the stirring rod for a ladle and was about to spoon a generous amount of the potion into the shell when there was a crack! and a flare of purple light blasted the receptacle out of Lupins hands.
He yelped. "We're being sniped at!"
His partner was already diving for cover. "I know that, idiot wolf! I didn't spend thirty years of my life as the Snake-lord's prize snoop without being able to recognise a sniper when one's shooting at me! Get down here NOW!" He grabbed Lupin by the nape of his neck and pulled him into the shelter of the heavy workbench.
"But who would be trying to kill us?"
Somehow, even crouched under the workbench and covered in the sticky remnants of the ruined potion, Snape managed to adopt a professorial air. "That is not a death spell, it's Sande's Synapse Scrambler - and it appears to have worked on your one remaining brain cell."
Lupin blinked, and put a hand to his skull. "Nope," he said, "I'm feeling quite sane. It didn't hit me." He removed fingers covered with spilled potion and sniffed at them. "Hmm, tastes like Snapple."
"What?" Snape had drawn his wand and was moving it in careful exploratory circles.
"Muggle drink, Tastes almost but not quite like tea."
"Hmm." Sometimes Snape wondered where Lupin had acquired his esoteric knowledge of Muggle foodstuffs, but had learned not to enquire too closely. Not since that business with the Brighton rock, anyway - though he still wondered how they got the letters to go all the way through without magic. "Our snooper seems to have made good his escape." he observed. "You can come out now."
His own attempt to emerge from beneath the bench was forestalled by Lupin's hand firmly clasping his bare arm. His fingers were sticky.
"You're all sticky," he pointed out.
"I know. its the Tentacular Sap. I thought you'd put in too much. Nothing that a little soap and water won't remedy."
Snape bridled. "It was exactly the right amount of sap. Who's the potions expert around here?"
"Oh you are, definitely." Lupin confirmed. "Expert on other things, too, as I recall. And since we're quite cosy under here, and there is no chance you'll be able to salvage that potion in time, I think we should take advantage of the situation. Don't you?"
"Opportunist wolf." Snape growled, but he shifted back under the table.
Lupin pounced on him. "I can do without your snide snipes," he murmured, as he undid the snaps fastening Severus' work-smock and slid a hand inside. "Can't you think of better things to do with that mouth?"
Severus could.
And did.
Fin
And the inspirational words:
Snap, Snipe, Snapper, Nape, Snappy, Sniper, Snip, Snaps, Snake, Scape, Snappier, Snare, Snapple, Snapped, Synapse, Sane, Snooper, Nap, Sap, Snoop, Sunup, Sande, Sniped, Snipes, Nope, Soap, Snipe's