"You just keep telling yourself that, mate," Sirius said as he shoved Remus with his shoulder. "Some day, you might even believe it yourself. And of course the best dresses are all from McGonagall. I borrowed this lovely sequined number cut up to here," Sirius paused to gesture towards his crotch, "it's brilliant.
"And just fuck right off with teaching me. Who taught whom how to wank? Who? Go on, remember crying for your mummy the first time you got hard and couldn't figure it out. Who crawled into whose bed with a raging stiffy asking Sirius to help."